Let's have the abortion talk here. Right here. This thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean two, maybe even three. I mean woman who have several abortions, in a much shorter time frame.

I'm not going to try and talk you out of a gut-reaction. We all snap to judgement about a variety of things. I snap to judge even when I intellectually know that I shouldn't and know that I have no idea what's going on in another person's life. Would it be different if I had had them two years apart instead of fourteen? Would it be different if I had had the first one at 35? And I know you're not talking about me personally. I'm genuinely curious. I'm interested in where the line is for people. I'm not sure where it is for me. I am very much of a mind that making that call in any sort of policy sense is a slippery slope, but I know there are things that make me cringe.

I don't know exactly where the line is, as it isn't set in stone.

I do find it intersting though that everything else I said you left alone. I guess it's ok to choose to never have one. It's ok to say I don't have a problem with other people gettign them, because it goes along with their set of morals and ethics, but it's not OK to have some judgement on those who have many of them.

[Anonymous]

Other than immediate self defense or defense of another, I don't believe that anyone (whether the government through capital punishment or an individual through abortion) has the moral right to take a life, even if the person who wants to take the life would experience a significant burden (such as a pregnancy) in sustaining the life. I'm glad abortion is legal, though, and do not impose my views on others (unless I'm directly asked by a close friend, which I have been) as I think this is essentially a private issue. That said, I do judge people for having abortions, just like I would for engaging in other behavior I believe is immoral. That's not to say that I know their full circumstances, or that I reject the people in an overall sense in any way, it's just to say that I do have a view and make a judgment about this act. I considered this issue pretty carefully a few years back when I learned that there was a very high likelihood that our DD would ave severe health issues, and when I made the personal decision that abortion was not a choice that I felt I had the moral option to make. I don't envy anyone who needs to reflect on this question in their own lives.

As an aside, many people (including on this thread already) seem to assume that people who believe abortion is immoral are uneducated and socially conservative (not to pair the two, but they seem to be the stereotypes). FWIW, I'm highly educated in the traditional sense (two ivy league degrees), and am a far, far left-leaning democrat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you feel are some of the most important ways to do this?

Well, I guess I'll start with the hard one before I go to bed. A healthy sense of sexuality and an openness about it.
Ok, well, first of all, kids, you are sexual. This is a normal part of the human experience and is not something to be hidden, denied, or ashamed of. I've pulled out the It's Perfectly Normal book many times. You can ask me any question on earth that you can possibly think of, no matter how embarrasing, now matter how uncomfortable it makes me, and I swear to God I will answer it as best I can right then and there. If you have questions that you don't want to ask me, here is a list of trusted adult friends and allies that you can ask instead. Your body belongs to you and you are the boss of it. You get to say who touches it and how, and if it doesn't feel good, it shouldn't be happening. There are ways of satisfying your sexual needs without penis/vagina heterosexual intercourse. If you chose to have intercourse when you are ready, there are things you need to know to protect yourself. This is a condom. This is how it works. This is how it doesn't work. This is where they are in the medicine cabinet. This is what a fertility cycle is. This is why you might be feeling horny at certain times of the month. You are beautiful, but you are more than beautiful, and beautiful is not currency. You are smart, but you are more than smart, and smart is not currency, either. If things are not perfect I will still love you. If things go horribly wrong I will still love you.

That's a start.

[Anonymous]

I've had two abortions. No regrets. First time I was on the pill, and second time on the pill too, but had missed a day. Guess I'm pretty fertile. Have two young children now (and both times got pregnant as soon as I decided I wanted to fall pregnant).

Every once in a while I think about the fact that I could have a child who would be 12 by now, but never think about how he/she might have looked like or been like. Just don't think about it much at all. I was 2 months pregnant both times I had the abortion. Can't say either of them affected me emotionally: i.e., I didn't cry or want to cry, and didn't feel like I had lost a life. To me it was just some organic matter that had been scraped from the insides of my body.

At the time I told my family and my friends about it, and my boyfriend's family (both abortions were with the same guy when I was in my early 20s - at a time when I still very much felt like a baby myself; a student at college, living at home etc).

These days I will tell people about it, though those people I tell are usually women, and women I feel will not judge me.

I could have written this post. Was on the pill both times as well, was 19 and in college the first time, 23 the second time. The second time was with my now-husband but we were not ready. NOT READY. I told a select few - including my two best friends in college who were/are both active in the Republican Party and I am about the furthest from the GOP you can get - about the first one. My husband and I have never told anyone about the second one. For me, because abortion was a choice, so there was no other choice I wanted. I do sometimes wonder what my life would have been like with a now-about-to-turn-18-year-old, but I have no regrets. It was a medical procedure that changed my life and I am grateful, not sorry. I was brought up in a very religious household and school but I knew I was an atheist way before the time I went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: As an aside, many people (including on this thread already) seem to assume that people who believe abortion is immoral are uneducated and socially conservative (not to pair the two, but they seem to be the stereotypes). FWIW, I'm highly educated in the traditional sense (two ivy league degrees), and am a far, far left-leaning democrat.

I'm adamantly pro-choice, but will admit that there's a sterotype. And it's not fair, and not true. I think we're being pretty good on here so far.

[Anonymous]

As someone who is pro choice and someone who has had an abortion, I am very respectful of folks who are pro life. Especially when they personally live the life. I am the poster who mentioned previously that I discussed my abortion with a very catholic friend who had just told me how he could never relate to someone who'd had one. I have a lot of respect for folks who simply believe that it is life. I do not believe it is life at conception and i've thought about it long and hard. I believe that at some point in the pregnancy it becomes life, before birth (but not at 20 weeks, 24 weeks, or at some other proscribed time). I think the moment of life is unknown, and that, regardless, until it is separated from the mother, that life is by definition subjugated to the life and choices of the mother. If the mother does not wish to continue to carry that life, I believe it is the mother's choice not to do so. I would even defend this choice to include late term abortions (though personally I cannot fathom why someone would abort a fetus at late term if there were not medically pressing reasons to do so -- but of course, nearly all late term abortions occur due to such medical situations). That said, I am honestly not pro-abortion by any means. If I could go back in time, I would change the circumstances that made me pregnant -- I never once thought about going back in time and changing the abortion. If I have regrets, it is over the very careless moment where I got pregnant in the first place, not the very necessary step I took to terminate the pregnancy afterwards. I have journals from the time and the emotions are stark -- I just wanted to be freed from what felt like an albatross. I sometimes think to myself, if I would have let the fetus develop into a life, that life could have been a 10 year old child. I would have survived with a child, but my life would not be what it is now, for better or for worse. It might be richer, but I can't miss what I've never had, and I genuinely have no regrets about the abortion itself. To wish away the abortion would be to wish away the last 10 years of my life, including my wonderful husband, who I would most likely have never met if I would have had a young child all this time, my friends and life in DC (had I had the child as a young single I would have had to move back home) and the precious emerging life in my belly right now. I think of the difference between the pregnancy I'm going through now, a blessed, hopeful event, and the pregnancy I went through then, a tramatic horror movie. Thankfully it had an end. Just because i don't have any regrets doesn't mean I'm not thoughtful about it. I wouldn't have another abortion, but I'm in a very different place now. I think that's ok. And BTW, I am a Christian. I have asked God to forgive any sin I have made and, while I do not feel guilt, acknowledge that I don't know everything and could have been wrong. I believe in forgiveness and a merciful god who understands that humans do not have all the answers, and can only act on the reasoning nature He gave us. So that's what I did.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if you were the one in deep, agonizing pain, being scraped away from what you know as comfort, nutrition and safety you'd change your mind...

[Anonymous]

And now we start with the pictures. I'm done with this weirdo thread. BTW, most of what you google is fake...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And now we start with the pictures. I'm done with this weirdo thread. BTW, most of what you google is fake...

Oh, so how do you picture in your mind as the left overs of an abortion? do you think the fetus will look like the angels on the ceiling of the sistine chapel?

[Anonymous]

There is definitely a stigma attached to it, which is why I have only told 2 people about mine more than 10 years ago now. I was all about double protection and SOMEHOW allowed myself to slip one night...and oops, pregnant at 21. I had just moved here, just started working, just met my now-husband. I was not prepared at all for a child and yes, I freely admit I made a HUGE mistake slipping on birth control.

I never really regretted my decision. I knew for myself that I couldn't give a child up for adoption nor was I ready to raise a child myself. There really was only one decision in my mind. Honestly, I am even MORE pro-choice after having a child. If that makes me heartless in someone's eyes, so be it. Honestly, the only reason I ever think of it is to shudder thinking about how different things would have been had I not had a choice...and pretty much how glad I am that I didn't go that direction.

I will say I was disturbed by the woman in the waiting room after the procedure was done saying this was her 3rd one - she couldn't have been more than mid-20s. Yes, I could be stereotyping, but I HIGHLY doubt she was terminating for health reasons. I had one mistake happen to me, but THREE?

My heart goes out to anyone who ever has to make the tough decision whether or not to terminate for health reasons.

[Anonymous]

Hey, the uneducated religious right has learned to use photoshop! Woo-hoo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, the uneducated religious right has learned to use photoshop! Woo-hoo!

who is talking about religion?

[Anonymous]

Boy, this is a tough thing for me to ponder. I had an abortion at 20, when I was old enough to have known better, but it was a condom slipping issue so we were trying to be careful. What I remember most was being flat broke and suspecting I was at my fertile peak - - I called Planned Parenthood to ask about the morning after pill (this was 20 years ago). It was $75 that I didn't have, and there was no getting the fee waived. So I gambled and lost. I ended up pregnant and needing $150 for the abortion. To this day, I really feel like PP does women a disservice in not being more flexible with pricing. After all, the morning after pill is really just 8 bcps taken 12 hours apart within 48 hours of unprotected sex. What does that really cost: $2.00?!?

This is where I get on my soapbox about abortion. The point isn't to argue in favor of abortions. No one WANTS to have an abortion, kwim? We need to educate our kids, our daughters, we need advances in birth control, we need to make Plan B available OTC without age restrictions and in the HS nurse's office. I still think if men were the ones getting pregnant and having their lives derailed, there would be a helluva lot better birth control options. Wouldn't it solve a lot of the moral quandary about abortion ethics if science perfected a fetus retrieval at 11 weeks? One woman is given a baby to carry to term and another is spared telling her parents about the pregnancy (or husband, or whatever the case may be for not wanting to be pregnant).

I know for a fact my life is different due to the abortion. I do have regrets but it's mostly for having gotten pregnant in the first place. If I could go back in time, I would change sleeping with that guy/ erasing that whole relationship and eliminate the need for the abortion, not just regretting the abortion. And, even if I reversed my opinion about whether *I* think abortion is right for me now or not, I would NEVER try to infringe on the rights of some poor teenaged kid who's in a jam or a woman who's leaving a bad situation who finds herself pregnant, and say abortion should be illegal.

I was talking to my son about sex, birth control and ultimately how if a girl gets pregnant it's not his choice what she does with the pregnancy - - as in, he gets NO say in her decision. I think he was surprised to learn I am pro-choice, as I was to learn he is too. It's not a pleasant situation to be faced with and only the people in the middle of it are equipped to know what the right thing for them is.

Oh, and did I say more girls need to know Plan B is simply 4 bcps at once and 4 more at once 12 hours later?!? Cheap, cheap, cheap and every girl needs to have this in her stash at all times. Shame on the drug companies and Planned Parenthood for overcharging.

[Anonymous]

I delivered a baby at 22 weeks that was about as developed as photoshop mongerer posted. Both of your pictures look highly shopped. Not sure the percentages, but I'd guess 75% of abortions are first trimester which look nothing like what you're selling.

[Anonymous]

Hey now, the thread only got weird a few posts ago.