If you got pregnant while cosleeping/nursing...

[Anonymous]

I don't want to quote everything so this is for PP
I agreed that the parents could have move to another room to have sex and it is better in term of disrupting the kid's sleep. However, this is not abusing.
From wiki, "Child abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children.[1] In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.[2] Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse."
I don't see where that act falling into child abuse.

[Anonymous]

So I worked incredibly hard to get dd into her own bed all night before ttc. Got preg right away, finally bought a house, moved at the end of the 1st trimester: boom dd back in need with us. Ugh. So, pregnant me eventually couldn't take it anymore and move a mattress to her room and slept next to her until she started sleeping all night in her bed again. I am gone for one night in the hospital with newborn: boom she's back in bed with dh. Now I love having her there again, but it's not best for her sleep as I have to get up multiple times with baby. I have given up on sleep though. Total parenting fail. But FTR she always went to sleep in her bed - joined us in the night, so ttc was not an issue. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to quote everything so this is for PP
I agreed that the parents could have move to another room to have sex and it is better in term of disrupting the kid's sleep. However, this is not abusing.
From wiki, "Child abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children.[1] In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.[2] Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse."
I don't see where that act falling into child abuse.

Why dont you start a new thread polling people about this and see their thoughts. It is child abuse and right up there in the definition you provided its pretty clear to me. I have found a new low for DCUM by engaging with you horrible people. It is child abuse and I am sick for the children of parents who can justify this. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to quote everything so this is for PP
I agreed that the parents could have move to another room to have sex and it is better in term of disrupting the kid's sleep. However, this is not abusing.
From wiki, "Child abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children.[1] In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.[2] Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse."
I don't see where that act falling into child abuse.

Why dont you start a new thread polling people about this and see their thoughts. It is child abuse and right up there in the definition you provided its pretty clear to me. I have found a new low for DCUM by engaging with you horrible people. It is child abuse and I am sick for the children of parents who can justify this. Done.

I'm not seeing it. The question is not if it's weird or not, the question is if it's harmful. Can you describe how having sex in the same room as a sleeping infant constitutes harm, potential harm, or threat of harm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to quote everything so this is for PP
I agreed that the parents could have move to another room to have sex and it is better in term of disrupting the kid's sleep. However, this is not abusing.
From wiki, "Child abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children.[1] In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.[2] Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse."
I don't see where that act falling into child abuse.

Why dont you start a new thread polling people about this and see their thoughts. It is child abuse and right up there in the definition you provided its pretty clear to me. I have found a new low for DCUM by engaging with you horrible people. It is child abuse and I am sick for the children of parents who can justify this. Done.

I'm not seeing it. The question is not if it's weird or not, the question is if it's harmful. Can you describe how having sex in the same room as a sleeping infant constitutes harm, potential harm, or threat of harm?

This. The idea may gross you out; I know I don't want to do it. But it is not child abuse. The infant won't know a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got pg while ttc and bf. We would sneak off in the night to try for #2. It worked, and I got pg. We did not transition dd #1 out of the bed, but we did transition in the baby when she came. So it was dh on one side, then dd#1 next to me (between dh and me), then me, and dd#2 on the side next to the bedrail. We had a king sized bed.

Well there was that one time when dd#1 was out like a light, and we ttc on the other side of the bed. She didn't seem to notice. All those people in developing countries do this don't they?

Wow -- what if she had woken up?? Wouldn't she have seen DH in you??

I don't know how old a kid you are imagining, PP, but my dd is 13 months and would have no idea what she was seeing even if she did wake up. It's like having sex in front of a pet. They don't give a damn, so why should you?

NP here and you are disgusting. WTF is wrong with you and your DH? You poor child...seriously!

Nothing is wrong with us. We know how the brain works and know that nothing an infant might see while waking up is capable of creating long-term trauma.

We are also naked in front of her pretty much every day. NAKED, PP! And she sucks on my nipples! All the time!!!!!!

Hahahaha! Some people are so uptight! Seriously, the PP is totally normal and I assure you the kid won't know nor care if her parents are screwing. Lighten up and go have some more sex lady.

[Anonymous]

I cannot get over how uptight people are, which leads me to believe some more sex would help them. How do you think people in small homes/apartments or developing countries ever had second and third children!

[Anonymous]

I'm the "sex abusing" pp here and would like to thank the person who started this thread for, in effect, finding me innocent in the court of public opinion.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/404474.page

[Anonymous]

Done it a million times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got pg while ttc and bf. We would sneak off in the night to try for #2. It worked, and I got pg. We did not transition dd #1 out of the bed, but we did transition in the baby when she came. So it was dh on one side, then dd#1 next to me (between dh and me), then me, and dd#2 on the side next to the bedrail. We had a king sized bed.

Well there was that one time when dd#1 was out like a light, and we ttc on the other side of the bed. She didn't seem to notice. All those people in developing countries do this don't they?

Wow -- what if she had woken up?? Wouldn't she have seen DH in you??

I don't know how old a kid you are imagining, PP, but my dd is 13 months and would have no idea what she was seeing even if she did wake up. It's like having sex in front of a pet. They don't give a damn, so why should you?

NP here and you are disgusting. WTF is wrong with you and your DH? You poor child...seriously!

Nothing is wrong with us. We know how the brain works and know that nothing an infant might see while waking up is capable of creating long-term trauma.

We are also naked in front of her pretty much every day. NAKED, PP! And she sucks on my nipples! All the time!!!!!!

This is not true. Young children can be traumatized by what they see when they are very young. They can't verbalize it or process it but events later in life can retrigger the trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got pg while ttc and bf. We would sneak off in the night to try for #2. It worked, and I got pg. We did not transition dd #1 out of the bed, but we did transition in the baby when she came. So it was dh on one side, then dd#1 next to me (between dh and me), then me, and dd#2 on the side next to the bedrail. We had a king sized bed.

Well there was that one time when dd#1 was out like a light, and we ttc on the other side of the bed. She didn't seem to notice. All those people in developing countries do this don't they?

Wow -- what if she had woken up?? Wouldn't she have seen DH in you??

I don't know how old a kid you are imagining, PP, but my dd is 13 months and would have no idea what she was seeing even if she did wake up. It's like having sex in front of a pet. They don't give a damn, so why should you?

NP here and you are disgusting. WTF is wrong with you and your DH? You poor child...seriously!

Nothing is wrong with us. We know how the brain works and know that nothing an infant might see while waking up is capable of creating long-term trauma.

We are also naked in front of her pretty much every day. NAKED, PP! And she sucks on my nipples! All the time!!!!!!

This is not true. Young children can be traumatized by what they see when they are very young. They can't verbalize it or process it but events later in life can retrigger the trauma.

Oh really? What is your source for this? I'm a neuroscience PhD and this is not what we learn. You may be thinking of the "repressed memory" stuff, which has been pretty thoroughly debunked. It's also well known that false memories can be planted by suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Can you transition DS to a twin mattress on the floor in his room? That way you could lay with him and nurse to sleep and then just get up and leave once he is asleep. You wouldn't have to worry about moving him into his crib and waking him. But you would probably have to child proof the room really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never co-slept while TTC or pregnant. I did recently transition DC2 away from co-sleeping (she's 14 months, and it'll likely be another year before we'd TTC for a host of reasons). If you want to end the co-sleeping, the easiest way would be to change the location of your final nursing session. If you start nursing in a glider in the nursery then you can spend time helping DS fall asleep in the crib (you don't have to CIO, you can use gentler methods and stay and rub the baby's back or hold his hand).

My understanding is that nursing can become very uncomfortable during pregnancy so I'd probably want to wean from all-night nursing before getting pregnant.

I swear American medical professionals really have no clue how nursing works and they are the first to spread misinformation.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think all of you cosleepers are crunchy nut jobs anyway. DS has slept in his own room since the night he came home from the hospital. He STTN at two months old, so clearly I did something right. I would never dream of having sex with DH with him in the same bed. I don't care if it's technically child abuse or not, it's completely inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got pg while ttc and bf. We would sneak off in the night to try for #2. It worked, and I got pg. We did not transition dd #1 out of the bed, but we did transition in the baby when she came. So it was dh on one side, then dd#1 next to me (between dh and me), then me, and dd#2 on the side next to the bedrail. We had a king sized bed.

Well there was that one time when dd#1 was out like a light, and we ttc on the other side of the bed. She didn't seem to notice. All those people in developing countries do this don't they?

Wow -- what if she had woken up?? Wouldn't she have seen DH in you??

If he's in her, what would the kid see? Never have sex? Think about it. It would look like daddy was hugging/lying on top of mommy. Kid would never even register anything else because the do not know about sex. If they were under the covers, kid would not see anything.