Private Schools Should Do Better

[Anonymous]

I too like the arts, music, and foreign language, but could I but that outside of public school for less than 20K? I would just like more good reasons to pay the money.

[Anonymous]

How about a safe environment? No bullying? No fights? My local public schools have bullying, fights, and discipline problems in spades. My private school doesn't. And my private school has the things 13:18 mentions as well.

[Anonymous]

pp, did you read the threads on St. Albans? There is bullying in private school.

[Anonymous]

Understanding the culture of each school is very important ... takes a lot of homework. I think the atmosphere at St. Albans is well known. Some place their boys there because they believe that the school's culture will "breed" a successful alpha male. But in general, I agree with 16:39 that the environment of most private schools is safe both physically and emotionally. In fact, some people object to this very safety, which they would describe as "sheltered."

[Anonymous]

Our kids are in private, and I come from a private school background. I love that my kids feel safe and secure, and can focus on learning. Their school is a good one, but not super elite and I have no overarching plan to get them into Harvard.

I have a friend however, who is sending her DD to their very rough local elementary. I mean waaay beyond being a Title I school. She's in first grade, and doing ok, but isn't making many friends, and they as a family don't consider the school a source of community or friendship for them our their daughter. Fine I guess. But the most puzzling thing to me is that they are sending her there to "toughen her up", and to teach her that the world is a tough place, and you have to sort it out and survive. They could afford private school, or to move to a better school district if they wanted.

Just another angle to the private v. public debate I guess. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Sorry - I meant "or their daughter"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Understanding the culture of each school is very important ... takes a lot of homework. I think the atmosphere at St. Albans is well known. Some place their boys there because they believe that the school's culture will "breed" a successful alpha male. But in general, I agree with 16:39 that the environment of most private schools is safe both physically and emotionally. In fact, some people object to this very safety, which they would describe as "sheltered."

I'm 16:39 and I did read the St. Alban's posts. I'm not surprised there would be bullying there. I wouldn't send my son to a single-sex school, I don't think. Especially not STA. But I do like that he is "sheltered," if that's the word. That's why I don't really understand 15:30's friends, who deliberately send their daughter to a very rough school. Everyone I know who felt fearful at school hated it. Absolutely hated it. That's not what I want for my children. I guess I figure the world will toughen them up soon enough. And that's not what school is for, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

8:38 here. I definitely agree with last two posts ... I am all for sheltered. There are plenty of opportunities in this life to learn the harsher realities. Right now I am more focused on fostering kindness and gentleness in addition to intellectual curiosity. Yes, yes ... those things can be taught at ANY school ... please don't flame me!! But the cozy community feel of our private school and the continuity of friends over the years just feels right for our child and our family.

[Anonymous]

I would not assume that no obvious bullying means tranquility. There are sooo many mean things that kids can whisper to each other that can be hurtful.
Also, the public schools have done a good job of cracking down on the least bits of physical contact and intimidation between kids since I was in school. The policy seems to be zero tolerance now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not assume that no obvious bullying means tranquility. There are sooo many mean things that kids can whisper to each other that can be hurtful.
Also, the public schools have done a good job of cracking down on the least bits of physical contact and intimidation between kids since I was in school. The policy seems to be zero tolerance now.

Okay. Then the fight I recently saw, and the two girls and a boy bullying another girl -- how do you explain those? The latter incident took place in front of a teacher. He ignored it. Face it, these things DO happen in public schools.

[Anonymous]

I will say that the violent incident that was mentioned above too place in a particularly rough neighborhood. If we look at private schools in that area, there might have been similar experiences.
Also, I just heard of a child who left Lowell because there was too much bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say that the violent incident that was mentioned above too place in a particularly rough neighborhood. If we look at private schools in that area, there might have been similar experiences.
Also, I just heard of a child who left Lowell because there was too much bullying.

No. Not Potomac, but not a rough neighborhood. It is, however, a racially mixed neighborhood, and it was three black kids bullying a white kid.

[Anonymous]

While I presume that you will find bullying in both a public and a private school setting, I'd also presume that the tolerance for such activity would be much lower within the private school's administration (though of course, I could be wrong). I'd also like to call out the false analogy made several posters back between more bullying in a single-sex environment. I don't think I've read any reports that have made such a correlation.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am wondering what school you eventually chose for your child. I found your original post so enlightening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am wondering what school you eventually chose for your child. I found your original post so enlightening!

Thanks.
Because I could be identified, I will not be specific, but we chose a traditional, non-Catholic school in Montgomery County.
But I liked The British School, best curriculum, classes a bit large though, too far.
I also liked Sidwell and Maret.
The Progressives (GA and Lowell) concerned me. However, I am a big believer in Montessori in the early years (if you must do preschool). Again, Montessori's approach for young children is evidence based with great outcomes.