One glass of wine at night

[Anonymous]

There is no healthy amount of alcohol and taking up a daily drink habit in middle age is not at all a good idea as the aging body is already more inclined toward cancer and other diseases to which alcohol is directly linked.

Beyond that, it is just not a good idea to medicate your stress with a substance that can so easily be abused because your body will build tolerance and before you know it you are consuming more.

I strongly and with nothing but affection and goodwill encourage you to take up a healthful habit for coping instead - a walk by yourself outside, a session of yoga or just listening to music and doing some stretches and maybe some hand weights - something to get the blood moving and your mind cleared a little from all that is on your plate, but without reaching for numbing agents.

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no healthy amount of alcohol and taking up a daily drink habit in middle age is not at all a good idea as the aging body is already more inclined toward cancer and other diseases to which alcohol is directly linked.

Beyond that, it is just not a good idea to medicate your stress with a substance that can so easily be abused because your body will build tolerance and before you know it you are consuming more.

I strongly and with nothing but affection and goodwill encourage you to take up a healthful habit for coping instead - a walk by yourself outside, a session of yoga or just listening to music and doing some stretches and maybe some hand weights - something to get the blood moving and your mind cleared a little from all that is on your plate, but without reaching for numbing agents.

Hang in there.

I shouldn’t have let it go without saying, my sincere condolences on the loss of your father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to love wine in the evening. It was great until I developed heart palpitations.

Same. I can only drink if it’s early in the day or I’m having a full, early meal. Two glasses is all I can do now. It’s not worth the racing heart and sleep interruption.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Sincere thanks to everyone. I spoke to my husband last night about supporting me through trying to at least cut back to just the occasional drink, instead of this daily habit.

The wine has been helpful during this time of such intense grief and trauma (My father’s death was sudden and incredibly traumatic). But I know it’s not a healthy long term strategy, and I don’t want my kids to see me dealing with challenges this way either.

I’ve made progress in other ways, not sleeping and crying all day like I was in the very beginning, seeing friends and family. I need to address this before it becomes a major issue.

Appreciate all the wonderful, thoughtful responses!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to love wine in the evening. It was great until I developed heart palpitations.

Same. I can only drink if it’s early in the day or I’m having a full, early meal. Two glasses is all I can do now. It’s not worth the racing heart and sleep interruption.

spoken like a genuine alcoholic

[Anonymous]

So sorry for your loss
You are not an alcoholic
It’s the habit and ritual that’s helping and and that’s ok … either continue with one glass if it’s helping you get through the hard time, or try replacing with something else for that hour each night (ice cream, yoga, puzzle…)

[Anonymous]

OP, I find the best way to avoid the "witching hour" of wanting the wine to take the edge off is staying very busy from 4 - 5:30. Good luck, and so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, considering there are/have been millions of French and Italian people who typically drink a glass of wine (or two) every day and live to a ripe old age, I wouldn't be too worried about it being "not good" for you.

Honestly, Americans obsession with taking medications is much worse than drinking a glass of wine per day.

They don't drink it to "take the edge off."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, considering there are/have been millions of French and Italian people who typically drink a glass of wine (or two) every day and live to a ripe old age, I wouldn't be too worried about it being "not good" for you.

Honestly, Americans obsession with taking medications is much worse than drinking a glass of wine per day.

They don't drink it to "take the edge off."

how do you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say your dad recently passed away. I think you should cut yourself some slack. You recognize that it's a crutch and you are mindful of the health "risks" (which I would say are minimal for small, short term use). I would let yourself just have this for a defined period of time (30 days? 60?) and then re-evaluate. Continue to do all those other things, too, of course.

OP, I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like your father was a wonderful man, and I know you miss him terribly. My father passed away in January. I still cry every day. I was so busy caring for him, I wasn’t able to prepare myself for how his death would affect me. This grief, at times, cripples me. So, just commiserating so you know I understand.

I’ll have a Miller Light at night just to get a bit numb. If I didn’t, I’d have panic attacks, and a beer is healthier for me than a Xanax. I just wanted to let you know it’s okay. The consequence of not relaxing could be worse. You’ll get through this. This is the hardest time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its fine. Keep it at one glass though. One bottle is not fine per night.

This. Same glass, once a night. Sending you a hug. Lost my dad a few years ago and it was tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is basically nothing. Probably your worrying about it is worse than the booze itself.

No kidding. The stress you are imposing on yourself over a glass of wine is far more dangerous then the actual glass of wine.

This is the time to cut yourself some slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no healthy amount of alcohol and taking up a daily drink habit in middle age is not at all a good idea as the aging body is already more inclined toward cancer and other diseases to which alcohol is directly linked.

Beyond that, it is just not a good idea to medicate your stress with a substance that can so easily be abused because your body will build tolerance and before you know it you are consuming more.

I strongly and with nothing but affection and goodwill encourage you to take up a healthful habit for coping instead - a walk by yourself outside, a session of yoga or just listening to music and doing some stretches and maybe some hand weights - something to get the blood moving and your mind cleared a little from all that is on your plate, but without reaching for numbing agents.

Hang in there.

PP, respectfully, I’m wondering if you’ve actually experienced what OP is describing. Sometimes exercise isn’t enough. OP, you could also try an anti-depressant or Xanax for short term. I think a glass of wine is safer than Xanax. Grief therapy could also be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, considering there are/have been millions of French and Italian people who typically drink a glass of wine (or two) every day and live to a ripe old age, I wouldn't be too worried about it being "not good" for you.

Honestly, Americans obsession with taking medications is much worse than drinking a glass of wine per day.

Really? Because the World Health Organization recently declared that "No level of alcohol consumption is safe for our health." Besides how it affects the liver, it is implicated in at least 7 types of cancer. I like a glass of wine as much as the next person, but I am trying to only drink when I go out to dinner and only one glass of wine. Given what OP has on her plate, I think taking a SSRI for as long as needed is far safer. But that's just my opinion.

"Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, and dependence-producing substance and has been classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer decades ago – this is the highest risk group, which also includes asbestos, radiation and tobacco. Alcohol causes at least seven types of cancer, including the most common cancer types, such as bowel cancer and female breast cancer. Ethanol (alcohol) causes cancer through biological mechanisms as the compound breaks down in the body, which means that any beverage containing alcohol, regardless of its price and quality, poses a risk of developing cancer.

The risk of developing cancer increases substantially the more alcohol is consumed. However, latest available data indicate that half of all alcohol-attributable cancers in the WHO European Region are caused by “light” and “moderate” alcohol consumption – less than 1.5 litres of wine or less than 3.5 litres of beer or less than 450 millilitres of spirits per week. This drinking pattern is responsible for the majority of alcohol-attributable breast cancers in women, with the highest burden observed in countries of the European Union (EU). In the EU, cancer is the leading cause of death – with a steadily increasing incidence rate – and the majority of all alcohol-attributable deaths are due to different types of cancers.
https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health

What until you find out about the dependency and deaths that dihydrogen monoxide causes. It is a doozy.

OP, enjoy your wine.

[Anonymous]

What does your coffee and caffeine daily routine look like?