Why do men choose the toilet as their preferred spot for alone time?

[Anonymous]

I have a husband and 2 sons. I wish I had bought a house with 4 toilets, because many times all 3 toilets are occupied at the same time for hours.

[Anonymous]

My husband never spends more than two minutes. Same with me. Same with showers - unless I’m washing my hair I’m out in 2 minutes or so. If we shower together that’s another story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a husband and 2 sons. I wish I had bought a house with 4 toilets, because many times all 3 toilets are occupied at the same time for hours.

I don't know in what planet spending hours in the bathroom is "fun." This is really, really strange to me.

[Anonymous]

No clue. My DH started doing this when we had kids but has never stopped even when the kids got older and no longer bother him (now teens and are often not even home, or are in their rooms).

My DH uses time in the bathroom as a transitional activity or something - 15+min before he leaves the house (even if multiple times a day), another 15+ min every time he arrives home (even if multiple times a day). And of course in the AM, before bed and so on. On weekends it could easily be 6+ trips a day for 15min each.

Anyway- beats the heck out me but I stopped trying to figure out the “relaxing in the bathroom” thing years ago (as opposed to relaxing in the den, his personal home office, master BR or wherever). The bathroom is the last place I’d want to spend time in

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe he's studying for his conversion to Latvian Orthodox .

[Anonymous]

They think they’re clever and hiding when the kids or family needs things done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toilet is not the comfortable location for that kind of self care. Only the most desperate, hounded men do that.

I assure you this is not the case. On the weekends when my teens are sleeping and I’m browsing FB/DCUM, DH is STILL having his 30+ minutes of phone time on the crapper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toilet is not the comfortable location for that kind of self care. Only the most desperate, hounded men do that.

I assure you this is not the case. On the weekends when my teens are sleeping and I’m browsing FB/DCUM, DH is STILL having his 30+ minutes of phone time on the crapper.

Yep. On a weekend AM my teens will be sleeping, I’m lounging in bed looking at my phone, big quiet house with lots of places to relax…DH still goes and sits on the toilet. I think he does it even in an empty house…he’ll be in the bathroom when I leave to drop a kid off somewhere or run to the corner store- and still be in the bathroom when I get back a half hour later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't do this, but I do.

Same. I guess we are a unicorn couple.

[Anonymous]

“And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone.”

It’s true though.

“Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time.”

But women won’t accept this for an answer and will turn it into an exhausting struggle for dominance. Easier just to lock yourself in the bathroom. If this upsets you, try not being such a control freak.

[Anonymous]

Lol, where else would people just leave you alone ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone.”

It’s true though.

“Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time.”

But women won’t accept this for an answer and will turn it into an exhausting struggle for dominance. Easier just to lock yourself in the bathroom. If this upsets you, try not being such a control freak.

How many women do you live with?

[Anonymous]

A lot of men enjoy a lot of food that gives them poor bowel health, more so than women, on average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don’t say it’s because it’s the only place your wives will leave you alone. Because it’s like, use your words and say you need a little alone time. FWIW, we don’t have kids and we don’t suffocate one another. We both enjoy plenty of guilt-free alone time.

And don’t come in here saying your unicorn husband doesn’t do this. It is literally a joke all across the internet and has been for forever. If your husband doesn’t choose to seek alone time with his pants at his ankles and his junk dangling in the bowl, sitting on a hard toilet seat, congratulations. This post is for us real ones, I guess.

I had just cleaned our bathroom and was getting ready to replace the toilet paper—there was none. In the time I was running to the pantry to grab a new package, DH proclaimed he had to poop. When he was done with his lengthy trip to drop the kids at the pool, I finished refilling the TP. There was still no TP, nor had he asked me to bring him any, and the bathroom still smelled like cleaning product. I asked him, “Did you not wipe, or were you just pretending to poop?” His face turned red when he realized he was caught. I asked him why he chose to spend his alone time in the bathroom when we have a finished basement and other quiet places to retreat with comfy furniture and where you don’t need to get partially naked and sit on a hard surface, so why the bathroom? He couldn’t give me an answer. Is this genetic?

[Anonymous]

Troll, probably the scat troll