“Homeschoolers are weird”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where does the “homeschoolers are weird” trope come from? Most of the homeschoolers I have met are intelligent and interesting, and have unique passions.

Your experience clearly does not reflect the larger societal experience. The only homeschooled people (kids) I knew growing up were religious fundies who were absolutely weird, annoying, lacked social skills, talked down to normal kids and were quite far behind in actual intelligence and learning. They seemed to feel superior to others but really had nothing or any justification to back it up.

You only knew a few homeschooled kids growing up yet you judge all by your admittedly limited experience. Ironic, wouldn’t you say?

I'm not judging all, I'm telling my personal experience, in which they were weird. Clearly many other people have had similar experiences since this trope or stereotype is not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor decided she was going to homeschool her kids until high school. She had 2 boys. Everyone just believed it was her way of justifying a stay at home mom position for herself. They had to sell their house and move into a condo. Her kids were well educated in tv shows and water pistols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where does the “homeschoolers are weird” trope come from? Most of the homeschoolers I have met are intelligent and interesting, and have unique passions.

Your experience clearly does not reflect the larger societal experience. The only homeschooled people (kids) I knew growing up were religious fundies who were absolutely weird, annoying, lacked social skills, talked down to normal kids and were quite far behind in actual intelligence and learning. They seemed to feel superior to others but really had nothing or any justification to back it up.

Your "experiences" back in the 1990s are outdated and irrelevant, Karen.

[Anonymous]

I think that it’s a stereotype that exists and persists because there used to be VERY few people who rejected traditional educational institutions in favor of homeschooling. Those people tended to have extreme views that led them to that conclusion. I used to go to Econ summer camps in high school and met a handful of homeschooled kids each time. They were weird (and I was weird enough to go to Econ summer camp, so, grain of salt). Spouse has many family members who were home schooled for religious reasons. They were always defending their choice to me. I couldn’t care less that they wanted to homeschool.

Now, there’s more people making that choice for much less extreme reasons. I know several, their children are great. But until the numbers reach some kind of measurable mass, you can expect that people will hold tight to the existing stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Because I was homeschooled and there was an above average prevalence of weirdos. All of these families were comfortable making this non-traditional choice and they often make other non-traditional choices and often flaunt them.
"We don't own a TV"
"Public school is indoctrination for capitalist worker drones"
"I'm so proud my daughters want to grow up and be SAH homeschool moms and embrace our traditional family values" (not judging this if it's right for them but this quote is my brother and wife who are raising my nieces to be wives and mothers only and have no career of their own/basically be dependent on men as soon as they get married which will probably be right out of high school)
These people exist in other places too but the prevalence is higher in homeschooling. I've met plenty of them. Obviously there are lots of normal "non-weird" people who homeschool. Homeschoolers are a huge group these days and not a monolith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where does the “homeschoolers are weird” trope come from? Most of the homeschoolers I have met are intelligent and interesting, and have unique passions.

Most are controlling and delusional, often extreme left or extreme right, often have several kids or one gifted kid who's world domination is family's top goal.

[Anonymous]

Because the vast majority of American children are socialized in regular schools. It's where they learn to interact with children and adults that are not immediate family members, in all kinds of social situations and for their entire childhood, from age 4 to age 18. Good or bad, that is where they learn how to deal with other people in a social environment. Raise them in a different environment - like homeschool - and they are going to be different from other kids.

[Anonymous]

To be fair everyone has a right to mess up their kids in their own special way, that's what parenting is about. As long as no abuse of any kind is happening, its not society's business.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want public or religious schools, your options are very limited. Good privates are few and expensive, most are businesses.

[Anonymous]

Having the confidence to think everyone else is more messed up than you is special delusion of grandeur. It intrigues me.

[Anonymous]

As a foreigner, I get the impression that middle America is much more into homeschooling than the coastal cities. Less of a stigma of being 'weird' there, probably because of the higher population of religious communities.

[Anonymous]

It’s understandable there’s a stereotype. Hilarious that so many people here buy into it while admitting it’s a stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Because think about why someone would decide to homeschool their child. Probably because mainstream school didn’t work for their child- or, they knew ahead of time that it wouldn’t work. Because their child is different.

Or, because the parent has strong beliefs about what and how they would like their child to be taught, and the parent doesn’t care about social norms (one of them being to send your child to school). Think about how that type of parent might mold their child as their child spends every waking hour with their parent. This isn’t bad- but it’s different.

Or maybe neither of the above is true. But all of the other kids in the neighborhood go to school. They have a routine. They follow the same fads (or at least they’re aware of the fads). They spend all day talking to other kids, working with other kids, from a variety of different backgrounds (or, maybe not such a variety, but at least from a variety of different personalities and interests). Now imagine a kid who spends their day doing things differently, and who has WAY less practice interacting with a bunch of kids all day. And who is used to perhaps a more self guided approach to doing things. And who has it imprinted on them that they are different or special- because they don’t go to school and they know it and they’ve asked their parent why and their parent says, because this is better for YOU or better for OUR FAMILY despite it being different. Do you think this child will fit in easily , immediately, in a summer camp or on a sports team? Get along with everyone, follow the crowd, not stick out?

Also these kids are good at interacting with adults because that’s what they tend to be doing all day and also a majority of them are on the spectrum in some way (be honest, guys). Those high functioning, 2E types of kids often prefer conversations with adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where does the “homeschoolers are weird” trope come from? Most of the homeschoolers I have met are intelligent and interesting, and have unique passions.

Unique passions = often weird
Weird is not bad.

I would propose that homeschool kids are not more likely to be “weird” on their own (nature). It’s the nurture impact of the fact that they are being raised by adults that for religious or philosophical reasons choose to exclude their kids from mainstream society and segregate them within an insular community. Whether that community is Quiverfull families, leftist homesteaders, Van life full time travelers, Ultra Orthodox Jews, or Utah polygamist doesn’t matter. By cutting children off from outside influences, they will naturally have a limited view of the world and limited experience interacting with people outside their community.

[Anonymous]

I find a lot of homeschool parents are friendly but because they don't have to collaborate with many people have very set beliefs and aren't terribly interested in collaborating on anything. I don't know about weird but definitely independent and not always in a good way. A lot of preconceived notions about things they have little experience with and a lot of "this is the way our family does this" behavior that makes it hard to collaborate. More black and white type people.