123 Magic, list your straight-to-three behaviors AND weigh in on a dispute

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

1. Jumping on the couch is a minor offense, and not that dangerous. Your husband is correct.

2. Straight to punishment and BIG TIME TROUBLE is for something that can kill them. Running with scissors, or playfighting with the kitchen knives, or using the lighter, or pushing someone down the stairs. Or running across the street without looking.

+1. Would your husband count to three if his kid ran out into the middle of the street???

[Anonymous]

We don't allow couch jumping either, OP. If they have that kind of energy to burn, we take them out to the playground.

[Anonymous]

Dangerous/immediate consequences (for me) is
-darting into street where there’s traffic
-climbing/moving a bookcase
-Putting a rope/cloth or arm around their own or someone’s neck
-throwing object at someone’s head on purpose
-biting

-Mom of three boys who has volunteered in multiple classrooms and playgrounds and seen all of this

Warning behavior examples
-fighting with sticks
-jumping on furniture
-leaving area of supervision without telling a grown up

Consequences can be:
leaving playground
time out
early bed time
lose iPad privilege for day

[Anonymous]

I guess I’m an authoritarian parent because at 5 and 6, the issue I’d have is not the jumping on the couch—it’s acting in defiance of direct instruction from me about what NOT to do.

IMO there’s just no negotiation on that at such a young age because it only gets more difficult from here.

Right now they need firm and clear boundaries and the point is not whether we think it’s dangerous or not or whether or not you should or shouldn’t allow couch jumping.
The point is—what is YOUR rule about it?
If the rule is “no jumping on the couch” then THAT’s the rule and there needs to be a clear and consistent consequence if/when they choose to violate your rule.

The equivocation and the “DH doesn’t think it’s a big deal but I do” creates confusion and inconsistency.
If you make it a rule, then follow through. Otherwise you’re just teaching them that your rules are negotiable and there’s so much wiggle room that they don’t know where the line is, OP.
You don’t need to be angry about it when they test the boundaries. Just consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids moving and engaging in enough physical play? do they have the opportunity to do so, multiple times a day? Are they boys? i also just sat and colored in the corner as a child for most of my childhood, but I have a high energy boy and floor is lava with couch cushions is almost a daily occurrence.

This was one of my thoughts as well. If they’re jumping on the couch regularly, they have excess energy that needs to be redirected. A trampoline in the backyard could help, or time at the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m an authoritarian parent because at 5 and 6, the issue I’d have is not the jumping on the couch—it’s acting in defiance of direct instruction from me about what NOT to do.

IMO there’s just no negotiation on that at such a young age because it only gets more difficult from here.

Right now they need firm and clear boundaries and the point is not whether we think it’s dangerous or not or whether or not you should or shouldn’t allow couch jumping.
The point is—what is YOUR rule about it?
If the rule is “no jumping on the couch” then THAT’s the rule and there needs to be a clear and consistent consequence if/when they choose to violate your rule.

The equivocation and the “DH doesn’t think it’s a big deal but I do” creates confusion and inconsistency.
If you make it a rule, then follow through. Otherwise you’re just teaching them that your rules are negotiable and there’s so much wiggle room that they don’t know where the line is, OP.
You don’t need to be angry about it when they test the boundaries. Just consistent.

Respectfully disagree. Categorize jumping on the couch as bad manners and act accordingly. But acting like couch jumping and other annoying but normal childhood behaviour the equivalent to running into traffic will cause discipline problems because mom will always be flying off the handle with strict punishments. Also noteworthy it's just mom acting like everything is a big deal. Kids will quickly internalize that mom is crazy and doesn't need to be listened to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m an authoritarian parent because at 5 and 6, the issue I’d have is not the jumping on the couch—it’s acting in defiance of direct instruction from me about what NOT to do.

IMO there’s just no negotiation on that at such a young age because it only gets more difficult from here.

Right now they need firm and clear boundaries and the point is not whether we think it’s dangerous or not or whether or not you should or shouldn’t allow couch jumping.
The point is—what is YOUR rule about it?
If the rule is “no jumping on the couch” then THAT’s the rule and there needs to be a clear and consistent consequence if/when they choose to violate your rule.

The equivocation and the “DH doesn’t think it’s a big deal but I do” creates confusion and inconsistency.
If you make it a rule, then follow through. Otherwise you’re just teaching them that your rules are negotiable and there’s so much wiggle room that they don’t know where the line is, OP.
You don’t need to be angry about it when they test the boundaries. Just consistent.

I think 1,2,3, Magic is about having your kids follow the rules. It sounds like op wants to ramp it up to a top-level offense that skips the 123 part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids moving and engaging in enough physical play? do they have the opportunity to do so, multiple times a day? Are they boys? i also just sat and colored in the corner as a child for most of my childhood, but I have a high energy boy and floor is lava with couch cushions is almost a daily occurrence.

This was one of my thoughts as well. If they’re jumping on the couch regularly, they have excess energy that needs to be redirected. A trampoline in the backyard could help, or time at the park.

We got a small indoor trampoline to have a place to direct couch jumping energy.

[Anonymous]

My kid broke her wrist falling off the couch, no jumping involved.

This thread is crazy. My kids are older now but I never needed a list of of behaviors / y’all are making this too hard.