Interpret this text please - AITA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s and hate talking on the phone. My DH WFH and I text him to ask a question. I love texting.

But, sending a flower instead of answering is definitely this guy's way of not committing to an answer about tomorrow. To his credit, he didn't not text at all. Plenty of people do that.

OP, you might not be a good fit for this.

OP here: the irony is that I text with my friends and family constantly! I think I’m just used to a different texting style.

And I agree that it’s a type of deflection! Conscious or not.

Sigh. I do realize I need to not overthink though.

I'm the phone hater you're responding to. I think you are coming across as a little needier than you probably want to. Or more controlling. Texting has really forced me to see people more clearly in a way. Who sends tons of emojis? Who responds immediately? Who doesn't respond if their answer is no? In its own way, texting tells you a lot about who a person is.

I'm on the fence about your BF. I'm not a texter, as established, but I'd be p*ssed if someone just sent me a flower response. If I wanted to move forward with him, I would text back: I take it your flower is a maybe for tomorrow? If that makes him think you are too much, so be it. You needing a response and him not giving you one is a red flag about your compatibility--but says nothing about whether each of you is TA or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are terrible with texting just not their thing.

OP here: how do people who date people with this type of texting style deal with it when they have a very different style? In person communications are not an issue but there are a few times we have had crossed wires over texts. I hate to beat a dead horse on this with him so need to figure out how to deal with it assuming I want to continue to date him (which I do).

I date a dry texter. In real life he talks non-stop, but is bad at texting. I don’t ever take it personally. I have friends and group chats for all day texting if I feel like I need it.

This is what’s known as a fake problem. You’re 50; when you started dating you were not texting at all and so show survived

[Anonymous]

It’s normal to feel a bit insecure early on, but you should be able to manage that without blowing up.

A nice flower is a good text! Chill, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hmm I am on the sensitive side but also I don’t understand just not responding here in some way with words?

Responding to what, though? At some point the convo had to end, even in real life….

He saw a flower and wanted to share it with you… what’s the problem.

Do you like this guy? Why are you looking for problems?

OP here: This wasn't a convo -- it was midday and was the first text either one of us sent each other today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s and hate talking on the phone. My DH WFH and I text him to ask a question. I love texting.

But, sending a flower instead of answering is definitely this guy's way of not committing to an answer about tomorrow. To his credit, he didn't not text at all. Plenty of people do that.

OP, you might not be a good fit for this.

You may have misread the OP. Not only did he commit, he actually suggested they hang out tomorrow. OP confirmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hmm I am on the sensitive side but also I don’t understand just not responding here in some way with words?

Responding to what, though? At some point the convo had to end, even in real life….

He saw a flower and wanted to share it with you… what’s the problem.

Do you like this guy? Why are you looking for problems?

OP here: This wasn't a convo -- it was midday and was the first text either one of us sent each other today.

So?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s and hate talking on the phone. My DH WFH and I text him to ask a question. I love texting.

But, sending a flower instead of answering is definitely this guy's way of not committing to an answer about tomorrow. To his credit, he didn't not text at all. Plenty of people do that.

OP, you might not be a good fit for this.

You may have misread the OP. Not only did he commit, he actually suggested they hang out tomorrow. OP confirmed.

OP here: No, I suggested we hang out tomorrow. He did not suggest it. And he did not commit - later when we texted he said he couldn't do tomorrow. He committed to next week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hmm I am on the sensitive side but also I don’t understand just not responding here in some way with words?

Responding to what, though? At some point the convo had to end, even in real life….

He saw a flower and wanted to share it with you… what’s the problem.

Do you like this guy? Why are you looking for problems?

OP here: This wasn't a convo -- it was midday and was the first text either one of us sent each other today.

So?

It’s 7:30 pm and I haven’t heard from my bf yet today. I know he worked until 2 am and had to go back in this afternoon. I’ll hear from him eventually, later or tomorrow.

Try to relax!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hmm I am on the sensitive side but also I don’t understand just not responding here in some way with words?

Responding to what, though? At some point the convo had to end, even in real life….

He saw a flower and wanted to share it with you… what’s the problem.

Do you like this guy? Why are you looking for problems?

OP here: This wasn't a convo -- it was midday and was the first text either one of us sent each other today.

But you wanted to keep convo going, that’s the whole. The point about texting your family and friends “constantly” is the problem. Some people don’t want to keep texting. They want to be focused on actual life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s and hate talking on the phone. My DH WFH and I text him to ask a question. I love texting.

But, sending a flower instead of answering is definitely this guy's way of not committing to an answer about tomorrow. To his credit, he didn't not text at all. Plenty of people do that.

OP, you might not be a good fit for this.

You may have misread the OP. Not only did he commit, he actually suggested they hang out tomorrow. OP confirmed.

OP here: No, I suggested we hang out tomorrow. He did not suggest it. And he did not commit - later when we texted he said he couldn't do tomorrow. He committed to next week.

All before the flower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s and hate talking on the phone. My DH WFH and I text him to ask a question. I love texting.

But, sending a flower instead of answering is definitely this guy's way of not committing to an answer about tomorrow. To his credit, he didn't not text at all. Plenty of people do that.

OP, you might not be a good fit for this.

You may have misread the OP. Not only did he commit, he actually suggested they hang out tomorrow. OP confirmed.

OP here: No, I suggested we hang out tomorrow. He did not suggest it. And he did not commit - later when we texted he said he couldn't do tomorrow. He committed to next week.

Based on your posts, which have everyone confused, maybe written communication is not the best option going forward. Try calling next time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s and hate talking on the phone. My DH WFH and I text him to ask a question. I love texting.

But, sending a flower instead of answering is definitely this guy's way of not committing to an answer about tomorrow. To his credit, he didn't not text at all. Plenty of people do that.

OP, you might not be a good fit for this.

You may have misread the OP. Not only did he commit, he actually suggested they hang out tomorrow. OP confirmed.

OP here: No, I suggested we hang out tomorrow. He did not suggest it. And he did not commit - later when we texted he said he couldn't do tomorrow. He committed to next week.

All before the flower?

I said I was free to hang out tomorrow. And next weekend.
Flower.
I said my feelings were hurt.
As part of his response he said tomorrow wouldn't work.

[Anonymous]

OP confirmed plans and proposed new plans. He responded with a flower. She responded that she was hurt.

His response was annoying, passive aggressive, and stupid. Agree with the PP that said he didn't want to commit to plans.

OP response was dramatic and unhelpful. She should have just said nice flower, but my previous text not go through?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP confirmed plans and proposed new plans. He responded with a flower. She responded that she was hurt.

His response was annoying, passive aggressive, and stupid. Agree with the PP that said he didn't want to commit to plans.

OP response was dramatic and unhelpful. She should have just said nice flower, but my previous text not go through?

OP here: Signing off - but, before I do, thank you. I think I need to focus on not being dramatic and sensitive. I appreciate everyone's feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP confirmed plans and proposed new plans. He responded with a flower. She responded that she was hurt.

His response was annoying, passive aggressive, and stupid. Agree with the PP that said he didn't want to commit to plans.

OP response was dramatic and unhelpful. She should have just said nice flower, but my previous text not go through?

Some of you are mental