When did it hit DH doesn’t like you?

[Anonymous]

He critized me in our kids presence.
He insulted one of our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hasn’t touched me since November.

Literally makes a face like he’s disgusted whenever I engage him in dialogue.

I don’t want to lose access to my kids/share custody or lose the financial security we have thanks to our dual incomes.

I don’t think I like him anymore either. He’s way to stressed out and negative. He sucks the joy out of everything…even otherwise fun family functions and fabulous vacations.

Just trying to keep things happy for the kids. I’m a much better actress than I imagined…but the kids are getting tired of their father being such an uptight drag prone to yelling.

At this point, I’m not even sure therapy would help. I think he’s going through some sort of midlife crisis. No clue how we went from regular intimacy to nothing. I’d be shocked if he’s cheating because we are on Life360 as a family.

Trying to imagine what a gray divorce might be like.

I’m dealing with similar. Sorry you’re going through this.

[Anonymous]

I realized that when he would do something wrong, his impulse was to get angry with me, as if I did it.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been semi separated for two years due to job situation. We speak over phone, get together for a week here and there. Have realized he likes the idea of me but when we actually share space it’s nothing but impatience, anger, distance. Financially better to stay, empty nesters, not worth divorce but I miss connection so much feel like I would leave if I thought I could find someone but since I’m in my 50’s won’t happen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're probably miserable for him to be around OP.

DP .

Well, he probably does not live up to OP’s expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're probably miserable for him to be around OP.

DP .

Well, he probably does not live up to OP’s expectations.

Only a clone of herself would.

Just divorce, OP. And get a few cats to keep yourself company the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It recently hit me DH doesn’t like me. Why? He does not make the effort to spend time with me and when I suggest anything his response is Luke warm— like sure, if you want to. I gave him much more credit than he deserves. This has freed me to develop more friendships (including platonic) outside my marriage.

Sounds like you're someone that should be single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realized that when he would do something wrong, his impulse was to get angry with me, as if I did it.

Same for me and my wife but it's not just when she does something wrong. It's when anything goes wrong, I'm for some reason the one who caused it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been semi separated for two years due to job situation. We speak over phone, get together for a week here and there. Have realized he likes the idea of me but when we actually share space it’s nothing but impatience, anger, distance. Financially better to stay, empty nesters, not worth divorce but I miss connection so much feel like I would leave if I thought I could find someone but since I’m in my 50’s won’t happen!

I'm trying to imagine why you prefer impatience, anger and distance over a peaceful, happy, totally self-controlled single life. You have a much better chance of making a good connection with someone if you are single than while still enmeshed in this dysfunctional relationship with him and afraid to make a move that is healthy. Even if you don't make another connection single life is light years better than what you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been semi separated for two years due to job situation. We speak over phone, get together for a week here and there. Have realized he likes the idea of me but when we actually share space it’s nothing but impatience, anger, distance. Financially better to stay, empty nesters, not worth divorce but I miss connection so much feel like I would leave if I thought I could find someone but since I’m in my 50’s won’t happen!

Bird in hand

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized that when he would do something wrong, his impulse was to get angry with me, as if I did it.

Same for me and my wife but it's not just when she does something wrong. It's when anything goes wrong, I'm for some reason the one who caused it.

Really?

Or do you just assume she’s upset (when she really isn’t) and immediately get defensive whenever she says or asks anything?

Because that’s what my crazy DH does. He has some bizarre insecurity or simply assumes malicious intent ALWAYS.

He will literally scream at me to stop screaming when I haven’t even raised my voice. The kids notice it and have determined he’s crazy. They love it when he’s not around. They wish we could leave him at home when we vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hasn’t touched me since November.

Literally makes a face like he’s disgusted whenever I engage him in dialogue.

I don’t want to lose access to my kids/share custody or lose the financial security we have thanks to our dual incomes.

I don’t think I like him anymore either. He’s way to stressed out and negative. He sucks the joy out of everything…even otherwise fun family functions and fabulous vacations.

Just trying to keep things happy for the kids. I’m a much better actress than I imagined…but the kids are getting tired of their father being such an uptight drag prone to yelling.

At this point, I’m not even sure therapy would help. I think he’s going through some sort of midlife crisis. No clue how we went from regular intimacy to nothing. I’d be shocked if he’s cheating because we are on Life360 as a family.

Trying to imagine what a gray divorce might be like.

Irritability, mood swings, and low sex drive are all symptoms of low testosterone, which is common in middle-aged men. Is he able to be dragged to the doctor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hasn’t touched me since November.

Literally makes a face like he’s disgusted whenever I engage him in dialogue.

I don’t want to lose access to my kids/share custody or lose the financial security we have thanks to our dual incomes.

I don’t think I like him anymore either. He’s way to stressed out and negative. He sucks the joy out of everything…even otherwise fun family functions and fabulous vacations.

Just trying to keep things happy for the kids. I’m a much better actress than I imagined…but the kids are getting tired of their father being such an uptight drag prone to yelling.

At this point, I’m not even sure therapy would help. I think he’s going through some sort of midlife crisis. No clue how we went from regular intimacy to nothing. I’d be shocked if he’s cheating because we are on Life360 as a family.

Trying to imagine what a gray divorce might be like.

But… he’s waving all the cheating red flags in your face.

That or a health issue. A normal man doesn’t just abruptly stop being interested in sex.