Very wealthy family member gets very cheap gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My greatest generation multi millionaire parents often bring me and my kids free stuff like tote bags from conferences. They also get uncomfortable when we go to midrange chain restaurants or order alcohol, but insist on paying because they are the grownups. They have to be forced to buy new clothes. On the other hand, we have a generous college fund (thank you!). People are odd.

Children of the Depression and WW2 saw people lose everything and not have enough to eat. Education can never been taken away from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are expecting a lavish gift. That’s why you feel insulted. At least be honest with yourself.

Why do you think this person owes you a lavish gift?

This seriously. Why are you expecting any gift at all from another adult unless it’s Christmas or something? Souvenirs are usually something small/cheap. If you feel cheated because you get them unnecessarily fancy gifts, cut back on what you spend on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My greatest generation multi millionaire parents often bring me and my kids free stuff like tote bags from conferences. They also get uncomfortable when we go to midrange chain restaurants or order alcohol, but insist on paying because they are the grownups. They have to be forced to buy new clothes. On the other hand, we have a generous college fund (thank you!). People are odd.

I don't see any contradiction in what you posted.

[Anonymous]

We travel a lot. I like to travel light. I normally don’t buy souvenirs and if I do, it is a food souvenir. I consider jam or chocolate a thoughtful gift. They are my favorite gifts. My kids are allowed one item and they have to fit in their hand.

Not everyone gifts. DH is a horrible or just non gift giver. I don’t think he has ever bought me anything when he has gone away. When I used to live in the same state as my family, I would bring back trinkets. That was decades ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My greatest generation multi millionaire parents often bring me and my kids free stuff like tote bags from conferences. They also get uncomfortable when we go to midrange chain restaurants or order alcohol, but insist on paying because they are the grownups. They have to be forced to buy new clothes. On the other hand, we have a generous college fund (thank you!). People are odd.

I don't see any contradiction in what you posted.

+1 That's not odd to me at all. My parents are the same way. Some of that rubbed off on me too. You don't get to be successful when you grew up with nothing from being a spendthrift.

[Anonymous]

And who is this family member? Sibling, parent, cousin, aunt? I barely bring back anything for my immediate family who I live with.

My mom comes from a culture of gift giving. When she visits, she has to buy so many gifts. I bet those family members think of me the way OP is talking about her wealthy family. I may not bring a gift at all. I will gladly cover the bills to eat and spend time together including flights and hotel.

[Anonymous]

I just read your post again and this is an extended family member. I’m surprised an extended family member even brings you a gift at all.

We travel frequently. I’m not shopping much and definitely not shopping for extended family on my vacations.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone likes to lug gifts back from travel.

[Anonymous]

Stop giving them gifts if this bothers you. You sound needy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know what to make of, or how to reciprocate to this one extended family member. They are extremely wealthy, don't work and are always travelling private or business/ first to exotic destinations.
Every so often, they'll come back from one of their lavish trips with an extremely cheap gift such as a 2 oz jar of honey (for comparison, the free sample size you get at hotels is 1 oz), a shot glass, a 3 oz bar of chocolate, a cheap pen ...
This person does not spare any expense on themselves at all.

I don't make nearly as much as them but I always get proper gifts and put a lot of thought into them. I know I should be thankful for any gift and I certainly am not expecting any lavish gift . I am not sure what to make of this and I feel insulted.

Thoughts?

I think some people are not good gift givers. I think some people don’t feel the expectation of needing to bring gifts because why? Like why do you feel like you need to take gifts to them? If it’s just a matter of being remembered, they did that by bringing you honey.

[Anonymous]

Be grateful that they get you any gifts at all. Stop beancounting.

[Anonymous]

You should stop exchanging gifts with them. It's not making anyone happy.

Also, the little jars of honey you get in hotels are not "samples." They're just what room service provides as part of your order. The hotel doesn't expect you to try it an order a big jar.

[Anonymous]

When your income or wealth exceed a certain point, you stop thinking about purchasing things in terms of what you can afford, and instead focus on what they are worth. Souvenirs are never worth the amount they charge, yet this person feels obligated to get something, so they bring back something small or cheap.

[Anonymous]

I literally dont buy any shit for people from my trips, I think a shot glass or jar of honey is very kind.

You sound like you are trying to stir up drama where there is none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal for adults to bring souvenirs for other adults that are not their spouse. Actually it would be very strange if they did.

My highly political climbing friends and family do.