OP, if you post on the Disabilities and Special Needs board, you might get more helpful suggestions. Kids on the spectrum often have different experiences with pain, discomfort, and sensory inputs, so helping them overcome those requires a different approach.
Obviously you can’t tackle this with punishments or incentives, if neither one is a motivator for your kid. But others with kids on the spectrum have been there, and can probably suggest ways to mitigate issues and approach the problem from another angle. |
My 13 year old was terrible as well. It became such an argument and fighting all the time. We finally stopped treatment. He got a retainer to maintain what we started.
I told him we gave him the opportunity and he clearly didn’t want it and so now he can deal with it as an adult. We are a much more peaceful home now. |
Oh and yes, we had paid. It sucked which is why I clearly explained that this was on him going forward. |
I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if its not the original treatment plan.
Its so frustrating!! |
My 13 yea riel had braces and never broke a bracket. |
If OP’s son is deliberately undermining treatment without fear of punishment or consequences, then you can consider that money lost, because eventually, the orthodontist may very well decide to terminate treatment due to non-compliance if OP does not cut her losses. |
Then maybe you should let him experience the consequences of not fixing his teeth. |
Sometimes, there is no winning, isn't there? My younger brother is also on the autism spectrum and has a DEEP overbite. Unfortunately, his dental hygiene was terrible growing up, and it was a constant battle just to get him to brush his teeth. He had to go in to get cavities filled several times a year, and got a crown at 16, and it still took him until his mid twenties to get him to start brushing on his own. Because of this, no orthodontist would even take him as a patient. |
I think that’s more true of expanders and headgear than of braces. With anything to do with the palate or jaw, you want to catch them before they finish growing. But teeth can be moved with braces or aligners after growth has stopped. Best to ask your orthodontist about your particular kid’s situation, though. |
This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework? OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts. |
Stop talking about it / putting pressure. Completely ignore the braces. Read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck |
You are lucky. Mine had several break off and several wires. We were careful with food. It happens. |
His teeth can wait to be straightened though. A cross bite can be fixed from a medical stand point with braces on a few teeth for a few months- not whole set. If the cross bite is causing damage to permanent teeth. Otherwise, the cosmetic aspect can wait until he is ready |
Your frustration is really coming through.
Is he the type of kid who is just hard on things in general? I have one like that, he is also autistic, but I think in our case it's just low registration. The same kid broke brackets even on things where it shouldn't really happen, like thinly sliced apples ... was completely on board with treatment and wasn't trying to sabotage. I think the advice to get on the same team as your kid is solid. Maybe you could take a moment beforehand to see what's triggering you so much about this situation. Is it the money? Or maybe a fear of what will happen if the braces don't work out? (I'm not criticizing either of these triggers, fwiw, I am pretty frugal myself and also have some long term issues because my parents didn't get me braces, so I know they're important.) |
You don't want to pull him off soccer. But you threatened to and he called your bluff. This is why he doesn't respect you. |