Privates with the best parent volunteerism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many parents under-estimate the value children get when their parent is present and volunteering in the School. I don't see the time I volunteer at the school as "doing someone else's job" or something that I can rub a little money on to avoid doing. Kids remember this sort of stuff and they see you when you are taking the time every once in a while to come to their class and read a book. So sure...rub a little money on it and don't come into school. Meanwhile, I will be happily donating my time, befriending the teachers, and getting all the tea.

As an adult whose mom always volunteered, I can tell you the only feeling I have/had was embarrassment. Literally nothing else.

Ha, you and my son have that in common. I was a room parent for 4th and he asked me not to do it again.

[Anonymous]

As an adult whose mom always volunteered, I can tell you the only feeling I have/had was embarrassment. Literally nothing else.


To each their own. I remember wanting my parents to be more involved. And my kids notice when I'm not there. If your kids think you are embarrassing, I guess stay home. I don't have that issue with my kids. They enjoy spending time with me and like it when I come to the school.

[Anonymous]

All the kids I know get super excited when they see their parents volunteering at school.

Potomac has great opportunities to volunteer and a very engaged community. Does that mean that every family volunteers? No. But many, many do.

[Anonymous]

lol read that as “voyeurism” and was horrified

[Anonymous]

Parents seem to have more involved in the primary school years but there were a lot more needs for chaperones for field trips and events where more hands were needed. Now that our child is in middle school, most of the parents seem less involved. I volunteer for a few things per year, and that is enough for me. The fact my partner and I are aware, engaged, and attend most games and concerts as well as ask our child questions based on the communications we receive from the school seems to be more important than being a parent volunteer.

As to the comment on embarrassing moms, I know a few girls who feel that way. What they have told me: Their moms are smothering sometimes, inserting themselves into spaces where parents are not needed and the kids want to be together. I can see that as their moms can take over and dominate situations. I think this is not the norm, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many parents under-estimate the value children get when their parent is present and volunteering in the School. I don't see the time I volunteer at the school as "doing someone else's job" or something that I can rub a little money on to avoid doing. Kids remember this sort of stuff and they see you when you are taking the time every once in a while to come to their class and read a book. So sure...rub a little money on it and don't come into school. Meanwhile, I will be happily donating my time, befriending the teachers, and getting all the tea.

As an adult whose mom always volunteered, I can tell you the only feeling I have/had was embarrassment. Literally nothing else.

Ha, you and my son have that in common. I was a room parent for 4th and he asked me not to do it again.

My older kids (HS) have said that if I want to do things with mom-friends, do that. Volunteering a lot (sewing costumes or running the clock in a game) comes off like their accomplishments are based on parental involvement.

[Anonymous]

The school with the most SAHMs.

Signed, a FT working mom who could never make those 11am volunteer meetings. And who therefore missed those opportunities to suck up to the HOS for that precious emissions rec.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many parents under-estimate the value children get when their parent is present and volunteering in the School. I don't see the time I volunteer at the school as "doing someone else's job" or something that I can rub a little money on to avoid doing. Kids remember this sort of stuff and they see you when you are taking the time every once in a while to come to their class and read a book. So sure...rub a little money on it and don't come into school. Meanwhile, I will be happily donating my time, befriending the teachers, and getting all the tea.

+1 (at public, considering a move…. Missing the involved community we had in preschool)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many parents under-estimate the value children get when their parent is present and volunteering in the School. I don't see the time I volunteer at the school as "doing someone else's job" or something that I can rub a little money on to avoid doing. Kids remember this sort of stuff and they see you when you are taking the time every once in a while to come to their class and read a book. So sure...rub a little money on it and don't come into school. Meanwhile, I will be happily donating my time, befriending the teachers, and getting all the tea.

As an adult whose mom always volunteered, I can tell you the only feeling I have/had was embarrassment. Literally nothing else.

I feel sad for both your mom and you that that’s the only takeaway you got from your mom’s efforts for your education and school. SMH

[Anonymous]

We have been in public and private schools, and here is my perspective: It depends on the size of the school and the resources they have at their disposal. I was on the PTA of a public school and we did a lot of planning and logistics because things simply would not get done without parents decorating, being at a booth to sell baked goods or books, chaperoning field trips and/or picking up supplies from Costco etc.

It may also depend on the age of your child. For instance, our middle schooler is in student government at her private school and they create google docs to solicit student input and plan a lot of their own activities or functions. There is also more school staff support, so the requests for volunteers are slightly different than when they were younger.

The other reality is that once you are in an independent school for a few years and largely understand the lay of the land, volunteering may not be as important to you because you know many families and are confident that you can reach Admin, teachers, or support staff if issues arise. You also may not be as anxious about your child's development and generally are more confident about knowing your child and your own parenting style. You also have a network of parents to rely upon.

While you appreciate the fact parents work to put together the Auction etc, you write a check and attend it if it fits into your work or family or social calendar because you have other board or volunteer commitments as well as relationships you may deem important.

FWIW, I volunteer on occasion at my child's school but do not think it is absolutely critical in middle school and beyond. Give what you can and want to -- time, talent, and/or money. Showing up for concerts, games, conferences and asking my child about what she is learning and the dynamics at school are more important than volunteering, IMHO. YMMV.