Seven-year-old hates meets?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| A pp said that avoidance isn't the best way to approach anxiety. That's true, but that doesn't mean you force a kid to do everything that makes them nervous. If she is anxious in general, talk to her therapist about whether meets are the thing to push right now or if there are other more important/realistic goals. If she isn't anxious in general and just doesn't like meets, then skip them -- no one has to like everything and it's ok not to do (some) activities we don't like. |
Anonymous
| How about the kids who really enjoy meets but hate practices? |
Anonymous
You can't participate in the meet unless you put the work into the practice. Come on, PP. That's the basis of team building, showing up and doing the work over time |
Anonymous
So, your kid doesn't like swimming? Swim meets are sit meets with 10 minutes of swimming. |
Anonymous
| DC (9) likes hanging out with friends at meets and enjoys the competition especially winning but not so much about repetitive drills at practices. |
Anonymous
Well - you should let this happen - this will be a great life lesson for her that she won't enjoy much of the former without engaging meaningfully with the latter. |
Anonymous
Seek out an IMX. They are fun and extreme and just what your kid needs. |
Anonymous
🤡 |
Anonymous
I'm that PP and made a point of saying that's not necessarily relevant in this case, and that the kid should be allowed to skip meets. "Hating" meets isn't the same as feeling nervous. Where avoidance does become an issue is with, e.g., older kids who love to swim and who get nervous before meets; constantly telling them it's okay to skip isn't going to reduce their anxiety around racing. Many well-intentioned people don't understand that connection. |
Anonymous
|
I think it depends what's making her anxious. Last summer my 7 yo burst into tears the first time the team did cheers. She was terrified. After letting her watch from a distance for a couple of meets and practicing the cheers, she was right in there with friends cheering away. She was just slow to warm up.
My older daughter false started at her first club meet as an 8 yo and was very upset, embarrassed and anxious. She never wanted to do a meet again. I had a coach practice the signals with her 1:1 and let her watch the heats ahead of her at her next meet. This gave her the confidence to try again. I didn't want her to give up because of one bad experience. Sometimes helping a younger swimmer make a friend on the team, some coaching, or watching a bit is all it takes. Older swimmers on the team can also mentor and be a great support as they get more comfortable too. |
Anonymous
|
Be sure you aren't adding pressure just because its a "competition."
Stress that they're there to have fun, that they get tons of rest and only have to do a few laps (as opposed to practice, which is much more swimming), and be able to hang out with their friends. Once my kid got fast the pressures of meets started effecting him. Previous to that he loved meets cause nobody cared what his times were, they were just fun. Stress the fun. |
Anonymous
Accent the fun. Don't stress it 
|
Anonymous
Agree. The most important thing about swimming is that she learns to do it. I did my first very casual meet at 8. People who became better swimmers than me started after that. |
Anonymous
| Competition should not be avoided, but not at 7 |
Anonymous
| Playing devil’s advocate here.. what would be the point of swimming competitively if you don’t do meets? |