Pay for daughter and her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be cheap.you are hosting. How do you not know what to do here?!

It is a new experience.

I did not know if it would threaten his manhood somehow if I paid for him (like a child).

Consider posting when you can be helpful (rather than judgemental).

If you are going to be this uptight and defensive perhaps posting on anonymous message boards aren't for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

I may be fine, it may not be. As the mom, you probably don’t see some social issue with her.

It is not something a parent can control.

Parents get their children help all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

I may be fine, it may not be. As the mom, you probably don’t see some social issue with her.

It is not something a parent can control.

Parents get their children help all the time.

Help for not having a boyfriend?

That is not exactly pathological.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

I may be fine, it may not be. As the mom, you probably don’t see some social issue with her.

It is not something a parent can control.

Parents get their children help all the time.

Help for not having a boyfriend?

That is not exactly pathological.

Seriously. There is such a wide range on this. Plus it may just be the first BF daughter is bringing home or telling mom about. That doesn’t mean there is a problem with the parent/child relationship. Some people are way more private about things. NBD.

[Anonymous]

I think you should pay for him.
I assume if my daughter was spending time with his family they would treat her too.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course.

[Anonymous]

I don't know...when I was invited to my now wife's parents for the first time, I paid for everyone when we went out to dinner.

Isn't that what a good houseguest does?

I guess the assumption is these are poor grad students? Not sure that makes it any better in my mind.

[Anonymous]

It’s not about being cheap as one annoying poster has said. If you can afford it, pay.

[Anonymous]

Life is better when you are generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

First bf at this age? What has she been doing? Is she neurotypical?
DP

You know. You don’t actually have to say everything that comes into your head. Especially when it’s rude and stupid.

Lots of kids I know haven’t had Bf/Gf by their 20s. For lots of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Yes he is a guest - pay for both

[Anonymous]

Yes of course you pay. Perhaps he will offer and you can argue over the bill and maybe if it isn’t a crazy expensive place let him/them pay for it. But otherwise be gracious!

[Anonymous]

Yes, pay for both.

[Anonymous]

Host generously!

But, if you all pop out for coffee or something really affordable, and he offers to pick up the tab, let him. It feels good to thank a host, but a young person on a budget would need an affordable opportunity presented to do so.

And I hope they both pitch in to do the dishes together. If my daughter’s boyfriend acted as if he did not understand house work, I would advise her to run!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know...when I was invited to my now wife's parents for the first time, I paid for everyone when we went out to dinner.

Isn't that what a good houseguest does?

I guess the assumption is these are poor grad students? Not sure that makes it any better in my mind.

Never heard of sth like this. Why would you pay for everything if she brings you over?

As a girl, I was always treated to everything.