Baby Shower Poll

[Anonymous]

So I'm curious to hear about first time mom baby shower experiences. Some thoughts I'm interested in:

- Between work/family/friends, how many baby showers did you have?
- Was it co-ed? If so, what did the men do?
- How many guests were invited? Did you invite all family or just immediate (mom, pop, sis, bro)?
- Was the shower during pregnancy or after baby was born?
- Who paid?
- What did you like most about it?
- If you could change one thing about it what would you change?

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

I had one shower, it was co-ed, and it was a mix of work, family, and friends, held by my friends. Since it was a weird mix, and since my friends were hosting it in my home, we did it super casual, and made it more like a party; grilling, drinks, hanging out inside and outside, etc. I think I was about 7 mos pregnant, my friends evenly divided all the work for invitations, buying and prepping all food and drinks, cleaning up afterwards, and helping keep track of who gave what for gifts. They are also all out of town, and in recognizing their efforts, they all stayed with me (with their SOs), and I had it at our house to keep costs down.

I liked most that it was low-key and a celebration of support from all of our most loved friends and family. I also liked that we did NOT open gifts and do any tyipcal shower games at the event, which made it more inclusive.

[Anonymous]

4 showers. All co-ed. We ate, we opened presents, there were no weird games. DH attended 3 of the 4.

One out of town, one at the office, one with good friends locally and one with another set of friends locally.

Other than in-laws, no relatives invited to any. (My family was too far away.) MIL declined to invite any of her family though she was welcome to do so for the out of town shower.

All were between 30-36 weeks.

My office paid for the shower there. Several friends hosted and provided food at the out of town one. We did pot-luck for one of the local ones (though I was not allowed to bring a dish...) and the other was a dessert pot luck.

It was pretty low-key.

(I got a lot of blankets and new born clothes though...)

[Anonymous]

I had one here in DC that was hosted by friends
One in my hometown, hosted by my mom
One in my husband's hometown, with just his parents, siblings and their spouses (coed)
A quasi -shower at work (group gift and cake)

It's kind of a ridiculous amount of showers, but my family and DH's family both live far from DC, in opposite directions. The biggest one was in my hometown, which had maybe 25 people. The others were small.

[Anonymous]

I had 4 showers while I was pregnant with my first.
1) family shower with my mother's family out of state maybe 12 guests
2) neighborhood shower with friends 20 people DH attended later with the rest of the husbands. Neighbor hosted.
3) shower at work with probably over 50 people. DH attended this one as well. several coworkers organized it and had it catered.
4) shower at DH's work. 12 people
I truly appreciated all 4 showers and received everything I needed but at the same time was overwhelmed with gifts.

[Anonymous]

We haven't had ours yet but I figured I throw in my two cents. We're having two showers, both before the baby is born. Both will be co-ed. One shower is just for my husband's extended family. It'll be 18 people (9 invited couples). It will be low key, no games since I hate baby shower games, just food and family catching up.

The second shower is for our friends. It will be also be co-ed. It'll be around 22 people. We're making it a BBQ party so it will also be more casual.

Our parents are hosting both showers. My mom and MIL the one with all our friends. And my MIL and FIL are hosting the family one. Both however will be at our house.

[Anonymous]

I had two showers, one at work and one for family and friends. The one at work was mainly just food and gifts, and it was during lunch so my DH came.

Family one was at my parents house. They have a nice country home with good outdoor space, and the shower was in May, so it was lovely. Totally co-ed, since DH and I have a lot of opposite sex friends. The men did the same thing the women did--socialized and pigged out. I really don't recall how many people were invited, but we invited extended family that we usually see over the holidays, and our close friends.

My shower was about a month before my baby was born. DH and I paid for most of the things, but my mom bought some on her own. She picked out some decorations, and a cupcake stand, and bought some of the food. She also did most of the set-up. I think we had a great shower because it was just like we wanted it. We wanted a summer backyard BBQ feel, and that's what we had. The focus was on our new family, and it was so wonderful to be reminded what great family and friends we have, and the support system we were bringing our baby into. It was low-key and no dopey games or prizes. If I could change one thing, it would be to have not stressed so much about it, and just relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had one shower, it was co-ed, and it was a mix of work, family, and friends, held by my friends. Since it was a weird mix, and since my friends were hosting it in my home, we did it super casual, and made it more like a party; grilling, drinks, hanging out inside and outside, etc. I think I was about 7 mos pregnant, my friends evenly divided all the work for invitations, buying and prepping all food and drinks, cleaning up afterwards, and helping keep track of who gave what for gifts. They are also all out of town, and in recognizing their efforts, they all stayed with me (with their SOs), and I had it at our house to keep costs down.

I liked most that it was low-key and a celebration of support from all of our most loved friends and family. I also liked that we did NOT open gifts and do any tyipcal shower games at the event, which made it more inclusive.

Ours was like this as well. We called it a party rather than a shower. Some people brought gifts and some didn't; we didn't open gifts during the party. My sister organized it for me (let's not debate if that was tacky or not) and my MIL was the only other family there due to distance. I did most of the food prep and my husband and I paid for food and drinks. Instead of games, we had a pinata. I think I was 7 or 7.5 mos pregnant. It was a lot of fun and more suited to our tastes than the traditional shower.

[Anonymous]

^^ if I could change one thing, I would have bought the cake from somewhere else. We went to Harris Teeter, and the cake wasn't very good.

[Anonymous]

I had three, which I felt was excessive but the third one was a surprise, thrown by work people. All of them were co-ed. My SIL & best friend threw one for me and invited all my friends. They paid, and it was co-ed, no games. I didn't register anywhere, and when people RSVP'd and asked my SIL told people I either wanted books or that we had everything we needed but would love for people to donate to a shelter for battered women in our area.

My MIL & mother threw a shower in our hometown, about 1000 miles away from where we live. They were going to make it just women, and were pushed to make it co-ed. I think a lot of the older women were confused by men being there, and the older men were amused and confused as to what they were doing there. The mothers paid. They tried to start baby games but got shut down quickly by my SIL.

At all 3 showers they were before the baby was born. I brought the baby to work while on my maternity leave so everyone could see her. All 3 showers were basically just parties. The men hung out and chatted, just like the women. I think some gave DH fathering advice because I later heard him telling someone "No I swear, I learned it at my baby shower!"

There were about 50-70 people at each. The family shower had cousins, aunts, uncles - people I hadn't seen since our wedding. The people who threw each shower paid. Wouldn't really change anything, except that streamlining getting gifts home would be good. We were far from home and had to sort out getting home a lot of extra baby things. Oh, and if someone's throwing you a shower, make sure the spouse knows, so he doesn't plan dinner out that night. After one of my showers I was EXHAUSTED but we had dinner plans and I practically fell asleep with my face in a restaurant plate.

[Anonymous]

I'm the 1951 poster and want to add that we requested on the invite that people bring unwrapped presents (in trying to be green). . . but if you request that, be prepared that not many will listen. i get it - it's part of the fun of a gift.

we made out like bandits and basically only had to buy the pack and play before the baby came.

if i could change one thing: have one dedicated photographer to capture the event, print out pics, and put in baby book. there's just never enough time.

[Anonymous]

0 zero.

[Anonymous]

I had 3, all coed. One thrown by my MIL and SIL, all of our immediate and extended family, lots of our friends (about 50 ppl I think) we did all the weird games, opened presents, ate cake, etc. One thrown by DHs work which was his department and included presents and food, and one thrown by my office which DH did not attend (it was a surprise and I dont think he was invited ) but it was really low key, a cake and a card and cute little outfit for the baby. All 3 were fun, I dont think I would have changed any of them.