Time for a new preschool/daycare in Arlington? Recommendations please.

[Anonymous]

My just-turned 4 year old DS has been at his current full-time preschool for about 18 months. Overall, we have been pretty happy. The teachers are caring and he is learning a lot. He seems to enjoy his friends and seems happy at pickup.

However, dropoffs have been really tough the last couple of months. I have to peel him off me and this morning as he was waving goodbye out the window, he was sobbing and trying to reach me. It just broke my heart. I try and talk to him about why he doesn't want to go, and he does not really give any specifics. My feeling is that he would just rather be at home. I work full-time and am considering dropping down to 30-32 hours/week but cannot just stay home with him.

Any recommendations (daycare, preschool, pre-k programs at privates) in Arlington that your children have been thrilled to go to school in the mornings? He won't start school until Fall 2014, so we still have quite a bit of time left in preschool/daycare.

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

What's the rest of his day like?
At that age, he senses your reluctance to leave him and knows that he's getting a reaction: have you tried being very non-emotional, leaving the room quickly, one wave to the window and then not looking back?

[Anonymous]

OP here. The teachers say he is pretty happy the rest of the day. They do the usual activities - playground, art, circle time, lunch, nap, etc.

I have tried of variety of things at dropoff - staying longer until he is settled, making a run for it, etc.

Also, I should have mentioned, this battle starts first thing in the morning. He wakes up and immediately asks whether or not it is a school day. If it is, he has a massive meltdown. We have breakfast, get dressed, play and he is fairly calm. But as soon as we make for the car, it's a litany of I don't want to go for the next 15 minutes until we get there.

[Anonymous]

It could also just be the age. If everything else is ok, you might consider leaving him there. He will be in kindergarten soon and having stability between now and then may be good. I say this from experience. We moved my son at age 3 from a great daycare to a new preschool - only due to us moving too far from the old place. The transition has been rough. It has takena while for him to settle in. I would not want to go through that again.

[Anonymous]

This is totally normal. They all do this at that age. If he remains unhappy all day after you left, that's a different issue. I would say a full third of the kids in my son's 3s and 4s class were like this. We would try to distract each other's kids. Only one little girl was sniffling after five minutes, and she would cry for an hour. In that very rare case, they ultimately pulled the kid from school. But for the rest of them, they're happy as clams once there.

Of course they want to stay home with you all day. My son would never leave my side for anything if I didn't make him go do other things.

This is his developmental stage. It is unlikely you'd find some other place that will magically make him stop doing this, if this is his temperament right now.

[Anonymous]

When my DS did that I let him bring a toy or something special from home to put in his cubby. Oddly worked.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks everyone for your responses. It's good to hear that this is probably normal. PP is definitely on to something, Friday is show and tell day. He brought his favorite Christmas present and was so excited about putting it in his cubby. No crying this morning. Will try to bring something in every morning next week.

[Anonymous]

I have to disagree with some of the PPs who say this is completely normal. A brief stint of separation anxiety is normal. But if it's been ongoing for a couple of months, I'd look closer at how things are handled in the classroom. This was my child, about the same age, a few months ago. At first I thought it was just a phase, but it became clear that it had to do with his program's teachers, and how they were managing the classroom and the children. We moved him to a new program, and it was like night and day - I think we've had only one or two "problem" mornings since the move.

[Anonymous]

the good news for you, OP, is that plenty of daycares have openings for four year olds, so it should not be too difficult if you decide to switch. I know this only because I've been touring daycares for the non-existent infant slots and they all tell me they have tons of openings for older kids, just none for infants.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I am looking around at pre-K programs in case things don't improve. I still would love to hear recommendations if any one has them.

Thanks to 23:08 for your experience. If the next couple of months don't work out, I'm hoping this will be our experience.

I also have to hand it to 13:24. This morning as DS was about to start clinging, I whipped out a mini-Spiderman, slipped it into his pocket and told him it was a secret. Worked like a charm, he went straight off to join his buddies.

[Anonymous]

Where do you go now?

[Anonymous]

Switching schools might invoke more anxiety though and prolong the problem.