In laws say they will not exchange gifts with us adults this Christmas, only kids. I'm sad.

[Anonymous]

I like giving gifts. I love it..watching someone open a gift I got them, it's awesome. i don't care so much about the getting but I admit it is fun, too...doesn't matter so much what it iis, just that it is thoughtful. in terms of giving and getting, historically we've done everything from expensive like a a tv to handmade to simple jewelry to memory ornaments to photo books and calendars of grandkids to "event" gifts..such as tickets to a theater show to go to together, etc. so it's not like we're trading gift cards or vases or ties. And that I wasn't asked, but rather 'told' bothers me, too. I have actually already purchased gifts for them (some are personalized, so not returnable or regiftable). I respect no-gifting as long as its a mutual decision. I don't like having the terms of my gift giving and the way we celebrate Christmas dictated to me. Also, it seems inconsistent to me for them to take this stance then set up a plastic tree in their home, decorate to the nines, send out and receive a hundred cards and spend $1000s on a fancy Christmas vacation. I guess it just smacks a bit more of " it's a lot of trouble and it stresses me out, plus I don't want to spend the money" more than "I want to be less materialistic and focus on the heart of Christmas". sure, I will celebrate Christmas even if they take away all the "ribbons and boxes and packages and bags" but it sure would be nice if the Grinches would bring the sleigh back to Who-ville. That show wouldn't be such a warm one if the Grinch never had a change of heart. Yes, it will come all the same and i will celebrate the religious meaning of Christmas. But I will still be sad.

[Anonymous]

Bis sis, is that you?

[Anonymous]

You have children, right? And they are buying the grandkids presents, yes?

So all of the things that excite you are still there, just in the kids.

[Anonymous]

I too used to love sending everyone gifts. But after a while, it got overwhelming, so my inlaws decided to do name picking. Then you just had the one person picked, and any kids under 18. One thing I did NOT agree with was that my MIL felt the 13 & 14 yo could do name exchange and not expect everyone to buy them a gift, however I felt at that age, they couldnt possibly come up with the money to buy a gift, and I just felt they are still kids, let them be kids!!!

That said, this year, we are not exchanging names at all. My SIL passed away in April 2 days before her birthday and nobody is in the mood to exchange. The kids will still get theirs. but the adults are bypassing it altogether. I would gladly give up all the presents in the world if it meant my SIL being with us once again.

[Anonymous]

Is this a troll post? Your level of umbrage is about 1,000 times what it could and should be.

[Anonymous]

Just give them their gifts and expect nothing in return. If you truy enjoy gift giving for the giving it should be no problem. I really do not understand your sadness over this. Personally, my life is really busy and I am grateful when I do not need to worry about gifts for a commercialized holiday. We spend the day with family on Christmas and enjoy each others company (the adults that is-I do get my kids a few things). Really, why the need for gifts as a grown up? I really do not get it.

[Anonymous]

PP here. That should say the adults do not get each other gifts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll post? Your level of umbrage is about 1,000 times what it could and should be.

I like you for your use of "umbrage." I wish I knew you IRL!

[Anonymous]

Grow up and get real. So what! Buy your own gifts for yourself. Are you an adult?

[Anonymous]

Ask them if they'd do a gift exchange for the adults.

[Anonymous]

If you're that upset, why don't you suggest doing a secret santa with the adults, so that way you're only doing one gift per adult?

[Anonymous]

Christmas was always about the kids in our house. Like a previous poster said, if you love giving and already brought the gifts then just do it this Christmas and let them know that they were already bought in advance.

[Anonymous]

The issue is that she already bought gifts. Can you use them for birthdays? Or could you explain that you already bought them, cannot return, but will follow the new rules next year.

BTw, we started with name drawing, then no adult presents, now my inlays are too busy to have a family christmAs. I find it sort of sad, especially for my son since hE is in the love Christmas phase. But we just celebrate and invite them to come if they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just give them their gifts and expect nothing in return. If you truy enjoy gift giving for the giving it should be no problem. I really do not understand your sadness over this. Personally, my life is really busy and I am grateful when I do not need to worry about gifts for a commercialized holiday. We spend the day with family on Christmas and enjoy each others company (the adults that is-I do get my kids a few things). Really, why the need for gifts as a grown up? I really do not get it.

Sing it!

If you see the perfect thing for someone, give it. If you don't, the pressure is off.

And stop spending other people's money. Your ILs get to decide whether they want to buy presents, send cards, whatever. You can sulk if you want to, but it doesn't make your right.

[Anonymous]

I was in your boat. I disagree about giving gifts anyway. I went for years giving no gifts at all but then last year I had happened to take a beautiful photo of my little niece in my MIL's garden. I knew my SIL and MIL would love the photo. We only see them at X-mas and summer so I figured I'd give it to them then. I just put them in cheap little frames from Target.
Well, when I casually gave it to them on X-mas my two SILs and BIL acted really weird about it and very uncomfortable because they didn't have anything for me. I kept saying that didn't matter but they acted likey I had broken some important law! Not worth it!