How much freedom for 10-year-old girl?

Anonymous
My daughter is almost ten and in 5th grade. We live near school in a pretty safe neighborhood. She walks to and from school with a friend or sometimes by herself. Lately she's been wanting to go with a friend to the local drugstore on a main road about 7 blocks from home. I've allowed it and all has been fine so far (except for the junk food and teen mags they buy!). Are others giving this much freedom? Thanks!
Anonymous
Not sure I would allow it everyday, mostly because of the junk food and wasting money.
Anonymous
7 blocks away...too far for my 11 yr old. I think it is too young for no supervision, which is what this is.
Anonymous
Hi, op here. Yup - I would have felt it too far previously. But this child is pushing hard for more freedom - really hard. Still our job to keep her safe, but she has been very trustworthy and coming back right on time. I fear that if I hold her back too much that she'll get really frustrated and rebellious. Am I nuts?
Anonymous
It really depends on your neighborhood. When we were away this summer on an island that we consider very safe, we allowed our 10 yr old DD and her 10 yr old cousin to take the shuttle bus to town on their own, get dinner, and go to the candy store for a treat before we picked them up. They did this a couple of times. Here in our neighborhood, though, I allow her to bike to a friend's house only. I would not allow her to go out of our neighborhood to a store or to take the Ride On alone with just a friend or cousin along.
Anonymous
I would ride the bus downtown and wait and the central library for my father to finish work when I lived in Denver in the 1980's. I was 10-11. I also had a paper route. Kids need this freedom, give her a few deal breakers so she understands some limits, but I have found my early independence helped me become a much more independent and confident adult.
Anonymous
My 10 year old walks and rides his bike to and from school. If we lived in an area where he could walk to the store, I'd let him. But to do that, I'd have to let him walk along a major road that doesn't have sidewalks.
Anonymous
We have a growing homeless encampment at the end of the major road that we live off of. Each morning and each afternoon, I see many of them leaving the encampment and walking the same route that my daughter would walk to go to the drugstore on her own. Some of the homeless are obviously and very seriously mentally ill. I wouldn't feel at all comfortable with her encountering them.

We are thinking about moving and I am looking very hard at a neighborhood I would have never considered before having a child.
Anonymous
I kind of hate these types of questions. It's not about physical age, it's about maturity level.

I have 10 year old twins. One has been allowed to go walk places by herself since age 7, and the other probably won't be allowed (unless she significantly matures) until graduating from high school.

If your 10 year old were mind I'd tell her based on the purchases she makes, it's clear she's not mature enough to make buying decisions without supervision, so she can go other places with her friend, but not to the drugstore (or, not with money) anymore.
Anonymous
Thanks for the feedback! I think we ought pretty much the same kind of stuff when I was a kid (remember lip smackers?), so not too worried about that. I can see how exhilarated and proud she is when she returns. The store is still in our neighborhood, just on the commercial strip. Our neighbors won't let their daughter walk even two very safe residential blocks and she is über mature. I think they're probably outliers on that end of the spectrum. Not sure I want to be one on the other end though!
Anonymous
She really is too young for that much to be by herself without an adult. Children should be only 13-or 14 years old by law to be left alone for a long period of time. Just because it's a safe neighoborhood, you never know what could happen. She should be in an after care program for some of that time.

Again it's illegal for any child under the age of 13 to be alone for more than an hour a day.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She really is too young for that much to be by herself without an adult. Children should be only 13-or 14 years old by law to be left alone for a long period of time. Just because it's a safe neighoborhood, you never know what could happen. She should be in an after care program for some of that time.

Again it's illegal for any child under the age of 13 to be alone for more than an hour a day.


Where are you talking about?
Anonymous
When I was 11, I lived in a NYC suburb, and I would sometimes go into the city with my parents and walk around Manhattan by myself all day. Not a problem at all. On the other hand, when my 14 year-old cousin visited me, when I was the same age, I would never have let her walk around herself. She just couldn't handle it. Then again, she could barely handle it when we returned at age 30. Basically, I think it is all very person and area dependant. If you don't think it is a problem, it probably isn't.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She really is too young for that much to be by herself without an adult. Children should be only 13-or 14 years old by law to be left alone for a long period of time. Just because it's a safe neighoborhood, you never know what could happen. She should be in an after care program for some of that time.

Again it's illegal for any child under the age of 13 to be alone for more than an hour a day.


Where are you talking about?


Yes - please cite your reference. There is another thread about how there really are NO laws in Va about how old you have to be - it's county/jurisdiction based.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She really is too young for that much to be by herself without an adult. Children should be only 13-or 14 years old by law to be left alone for a long period of time. Just because it's a safe neighoborhood, you never know what could happen. She should be in an after care program for some of that time.

Again it's illegal for any child under the age of 13 to be alone for more than an hour a day.


Maybe in the fictional world where you live.

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm
Virginia: No law
Maryland: 8

http://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/dfs/cps/intro_page/publications/alone.pdf
"Virginia state statutes do not set a specific age after which a child legally can stay alone."
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