How to tell daycare you are leaving if you aren't happy there

[Anonymous]

4 month old has been in a home daycare for about 6 weeks now. I have gone back and forth on how I feel about this daycare and have decided we need a better option and I am actively looking for a new daycare. So my question is when we decide to switch how do I go about it? We need to give 2 weeks’ notice and have already paid for the last week. I feel like telling her “oh we are going to a new daycare because we don’t like how you do things” and then leaving him there for 2 more weeks is kind of awkward. The reasons we are leaving aren’t so dire that we need to pull him out immediately or anything. I have debated just lying and telling her that I have decided to stay home or something like that. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

I would recommend something along the lines of: "We would like to inform you that effective August xx, 2012, Johnny will no longer be attending this daycare. We have found another childcare option that suits our family's needs better. Thank you for caring for our son." It's all honest. If the daycare provider wants to know, she can ask you why you decided to switch and you can let her know that some of her childcare choices don't match your preferences and you can choose how comfortable you would be and how much to disclose.

[Anonymous]

Say you're going with an option that is more convenient for some reason (better hours, more kids for when he's older, closer to home, less money, etc). It leaves the door open to go back in case something happens down the line and you decide your first childcare option really wasn't that bad. Don't tell her you're leaving because you don't like her, honestly she won't press too much for a reason why you're leaving and it's a very bad idea to tell her you didn't like how she cared for your son when she will still be caring for him.

[Anonymous]

11:55 has good advice.

But having been in your shoes (except in a center), I would also add that when you do actually leave, tell them what your concerns were. We waited until we actually left and then wrote a letter to make sure there would be no issues with treatment of our child. We also gave small thank you tokens to the staff to let them know we appreciated them in spite of the issues. But since many concerns can be addressed, it's important for the daycare provider to know what they are. You can frame it as "such-and-such was simply a better fit for our family, but we also wanted you to know..." (Don't just say "we left because of blah" because then it begs the question of why you didn't try to work with them to resolve those issues earlier.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say you're going with an option that is more convenient for some reason (better hours, more kids for when he's older, closer to home, less money, etc). It leaves the door open to go back in case something happens down the line and you decide your first childcare option really wasn't that bad. Don't tell her you're leaving because you don't like her, honestly she won't press too much for a reason why you're leaving and it's a very bad idea to tell her you didn't like how she cared for your son when she will still be caring for him.

i totally agree with this. If you feel there are pressing issues, bring them up on your last day.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why on earth you would tell her anything. With mine (and I wasn't leaving because I didn't like it, but rather because I found somewhere I loved even more), I simply wrote "Please accept this as formal notice that DS will be leaving your program on X date. Thank you so much for your care of DS! Let me know if there is any necessary paperwork that needs to be completed before his removal of the program."

Leave it at that. Be really nice and thankful. If she asks, just say that there is another option that works better for your family. But I would be shocked if she asked.

[Anonymous]

"I don't see why on earth you would tell her anything. "

well you sound really nice. how about because the provider is taking care of other kids too so it's worthwhile to try to offer your input on how it could be run better once you have nothign to lose?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the advice. I just worry she will put me on the spot and ask why. I am the world’s worst liar. Seriously can't lie to save my life.

Telling her we found something more convenient won't work as her place is the most convenient and honestly the convenience factor is a big reason we are still there.

I just don't want an awkward few weeks before we leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would recommend something along the lines of: "We would like to inform you that effective August xx, 2012, Johnny will no longer be attending this daycare. We have found another childcare option that suits our family's needs better. Thank you for caring for our son." It's all honest. If the daycare provider wants to know, she can ask you why you decided to switch and you can let her know that some of her childcare choices don't match your preferences and you can choose how comfortable you would be and how much to disclose.

Pretty much this. Stick to the facts, be nice, put it in writing so you can get your deposit back. No need to go on and on about everything you hate or how terrible they are.

[Anonymous]

So, what is the issue you are having? There may be a nice way of telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

...if you do decide to say something, you might present an even-handed approach. Meaning: couch the bad news with the good. Tell her what you thought was excellent or good, too. That way she's got well-rounded information to go on.

And for the recipient, hearing good news makes the critique easier to swallow... and act on.

[Anonymous]

If she asks you "why", just tell her the new place is a "better fit" and maybe be prepared with 1 example. I do think many providers wouldn't really question you about why you're leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what is the issue you are having? There may be a nice way of telling the truth.

OP here

My issue is that i just have an uneasy feeling. DH feels the same way. And no it is not just mom jitters. I have an older child who was in a home daycare that i was very happy with. We can no longer use her though as we moved. My issue with this daycare is that the older kids look bored. She has a play room in the basement but they are usually on the first floor or at least when I get there. Our old daycare was set up so that the entire basement was the daycare and the kids were always there surrounded by all sorts of toys. I also wish she had an assistant. I think 5 kids is too much for her to handle. She often seems frazzled when I go to pick up my son and often has him ready to go in his car seat. If i am later than usual then he has probably been in the hot seat longer than he should be. One day she handed him to me very quickly like she was in a rush. I arrived well before her closing time so it wasn't like I was later or anything. So just a bunch of small things like this.

Now other days I really like her and think she is loving towards my son, but I notice that more when I dorp him off first thing in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, what is the issue you are having? There may be a nice way of telling the truth.

OP here

My issue is that i just have an uneasy feeling. DH feels the same way. And no it is not just mom jitters. I have an older child who was in a home daycare that i was very happy with. We can no longer use her though as we moved. My issue with this daycare is that the older kids look bored. She has a play room in the basement but they are usually on the first floor or at least when I get there. Our old daycare was set up so that the entire basement was the daycare and the kids were always there surrounded by all sorts of toys. I also wish she had an assistant. I think 5 kids is too much for her to handle. She often seems frazzled when I go to pick up my son and often has him ready to go in his car seat. If i am later than usual then he has probably been in the hot seat longer than he should be. One day she handed him to me very quickly like she was in a rush. I arrived well before her closing time so it wasn't like I was later or anything. So just a bunch of small things like this.

Now other days I really like her and think she is loving towards my son, but I notice that more when I dorp him off first thing in the morning.

11:55 again. There is nothing here that is worth telling the daycare. You are uncomfortable with her and her style. While I understand your discomfort, none of this is concrete enough to say something to her, it is something that each parent is going to have to decide whether they find acceptable or not. Now, I definitely think that you should go with the "We have found another childcare option that suits our family's needs better." comment I mentioned above and just leave it at that. If she asks what issues you're having, then explain that you would like a lower child:caretaker ratio to give your child more attention. That is a frequent enough complaint and one that won't burn bridges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, what is the issue you are having? There may be a nice way of telling the truth.

OP here

My issue is that i just have an uneasy feeling. DH feels the same way. And no it is not just mom jitters. I have an older child who was in a home daycare that i was very happy with. We can no longer use her though as we moved. My issue with this daycare is that the older kids look bored. She has a play room in the basement but they are usually on the first floor or at least when I get there. Our old daycare was set up so that the entire basement was the daycare and the kids were always there surrounded by all sorts of toys. I also wish she had an assistant. I think 5 kids is too much for her to handle. She often seems frazzled when I go to pick up my son and often has him ready to go in his car seat. If i am later than usual then he has probably been in the hot seat longer than he should be. One day she handed him to me very quickly like she was in a rush. I arrived well before her closing time so it wasn't like I was later or anything. So just a bunch of small things like this.

Now other days I really like her and think she is loving towards my son, but I notice that more when I dorp him off first thing in the morning.

11:55 again. There is nothing here that is worth telling the daycare. You are uncomfortable with her and her style. While I understand your discomfort, none of this is concrete enough to say something to her, it is something that each parent is going to have to decide whether they find acceptable or not. Now, I definitely think that you should go with the "We have found another childcare option that suits our family's needs better." comment I mentioned above and just leave it at that. If she asks what issues you're having, then explain that you would like a lower child:caretaker ratio to give your child more attention. That is a frequent enough complaint and one that won't burn bridges.

Thank you so much for your help! Now onto finding a new daycare.