CANNOT deal with my 6 year old anymore! What is wrong?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does Dr Horen take insurance?

No but our insurance covers a lot of his fee. Once you go for a while weekly he says that he spaces out visits, we're not at that point yet. You could ask for codes and run them by your insurance to check. The coverage rate was different for the consult I think than the regular therapy. Since he is teaching you the techniques to work with the child to build the lagging skills he likes both parents to be there at the end of the sessions. I think he can do things like Skype but can't remember exactly. For us it's worth it as long as we can swing it, we'd tried so many other things with no benefit. We also like the idea that he is very available by phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I've never been a fan of the reward system(marbles) or whatever, because I feel like it teaches that talking nice or doing something positive is always rewarded with something, then they come to expect it in many facets of their life. Just my opinion.

I'm the mom who uses a reward system. I hated the idea and judged people who used them. Until I had a child with ADHD (impulsive and hyperactive).

[Anonymous]

Dumb question - where do you get the marbles? My kid is super tactile and likes stuff like that, just not sure where to buy. Thanks.

I also was opposed to such things but am caving after the 3rd doc recommended it for DD. I am going to struggle not to want to take them away but I was told to only use them in a positive way.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I think you need to go to someone good for an eval. I've heard good things about Pam Compart, who is a DAN doc and Karen Belsito (sp?) a dev ped. We saw Dr. Conlon, but I understand he is leaving his practice and going to Kaiser. I think it can be tricky to sort out with a kid like yours, see if anyone on the SN board can recommend a doc who might do school observations. You may want to try to get into the NIMH ADHD study as well. The clinicians are usually very good at spotting issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dumb question - where do you get the marbles? My kid is super tactile and likes stuff like that, just not sure where to buy. Thanks.

I also was opposed to such things but am caving after the 3rd doc recommended it for DD. I am going to struggle not to want to take them away but I was told to only use them in a positive way.

You can find marbles at any decent toy store, like Childs Play. I do a variation on this system using those fake gold coins -- got them at Party City.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I have actually had him evaluated but I think he was too young, sometimes these things can take longer to diagnose if they aren't severe
I took him to a child psych on the recommendation of his preschool teacher and was told he seemed fine but just needed some structure

Really? Because in your original post you said you didn't know where to start and questioned whether you should see a psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:fwiw, our 6yo ds was having a lot of trouble too. horrific meltdowns and an explosive temper. a few things we have found: 1) avoid if possible by giving some choices and not yelling. turn it into a joke if possible, even though it's so hard. we went to a lecture about avoiding power struggles and the woman said that whenever stuff like this starts to happen, don't bite. just walk away. say somthing loving. ignore. whatever works for you. it's fine if he doesnt' eat his pancakes. just end it. that really helped us and did change his behavior a lot. 2) he has been EXHAUSTED this summer. camp is kicking his butt! recognizing that he's probably just tired and trying to figure out where he fits in the world (he's older and not our baby anymore, not cute like the 2yo, not grown up so doesn't always know how to handle stuff, etc...) so we did a lot of letting him veg out more, giving him a show or an activity that kept him busy rather than asking him to find something that he could handle that wouldn't make him lose his shit. Anyhow, he's pretty rigid too but definitely not SN as far as we can tell, so it might just be that everyone needs a deep breath. We were in a bad bad place with him and it's gotten so so much better through us being more patient, quieter, loving and silly. GL!

Thank you! We have a 5 year old DS with similar issues. I will try to implement some of your suggestions. So glad that this worked for you. Good job, Mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I have actually had him evaluated but I think he was too young, sometimes these things can take longer to diagnose if they aren't severe
I took him to a child psych on the recommendation of his preschool teacher and was told he seemed fine but just needed some structure

Really? Because in your original post you said you didn't know where to start and questioned whether you should see a psychologist.

NP here, but but pp, can you continue to try to be helpful and not play gotcha? This is such a painful issue for so many parents--and not all kids that are like this are necessarily SN. This is really a general parenting issue for a lot of us. Really ease up with the accusations--not cool.

[Anonymous]

Op here, thank you pp. I was ignoring the nasty pp who is clearly just bored and/or and ass.
Initially we went to the psych it was for aspergers, since it led nowhere I was thinking maybe a different approach, maybe ADHD, psychiatrist as opposed to psych.
Plus, since I was writing my original post as I was crying maybe I wasn't being very clear.
I think some people like to kick others when they are down, maybe it makes them feel superior or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you pp. I was ignoring the nasty pp who is clearly just bored and/or and ass.
Initially we went to the psych it was for aspergers, since it led nowhere I was thinking maybe a different approach, maybe ADHD, psychiatrist as opposed to psych.
Plus, since I was writing my original post as I was crying maybe I wasn't being very clear.
I think some people like to kick others when they are down, maybe it makes them feel superior or something.

NP here. I think the pp was wondering because it seems like early intervention is key and you would know that.

[Anonymous]

OP, how does your son sleep? I have a good friend whose 5yo son has similar issues, and he has always had trouble sleeping. It has a big impact on his behavior, so if you haven't investigated his sleeping, that is worth a shot. Also, her son has serious issues with anxiety, so that's another possibility, instead of ADHD.

[Anonymous]

PP. I should add that I have a 6yo with similar issues, but not as severe (at the moment - knock wood!), so I totally get your frustration and sadness. The book Setting Limits with Your Spirited Child has helped us a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you pp. I was ignoring the nasty pp who is clearly just bored and/or and ass.
Initially we went to the psych it was for aspergers, since it led nowhere I was thinking maybe a different approach, maybe ADHD, psychiatrist as opposed to psych.
Plus, since I was writing my original post as I was crying maybe I wasn't being very clear.
I think some people like to kick others when they are down, maybe it makes them feel superior or something.

NP here. I think the pp was wondering because it seems like early intervention is key and you would know that.

I do understand that, but like I said we went to a psych and it really led nowhere. She thought the best thing to do was wait it out and see if he either matured out of it or if it got worse. Clearly he has gotten worse, but it no longer is looking so much like aspergers. Or if it is ASD it is mild enough that his kindergarten teacher and special Ed teacher were not worried (and they are with him all day every day-special Ed teacher is in the room for someone else but still see him interact with others)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here;
School says he is great but very literal and rigid
He does have friends his age but he is also rigid with them
Our 3 fights before 7am today were over Legos-his brother wanted to play with him, pancakes were too thick-total meltdown, running and screeching in the house
It's mostly noisy, silly behavior, notching dangerous
The 2 year old is a boy and yes, we have a family history of ADHD (dh side and mine) and my brother has aspergers too

When you said very literal and rigid (before I even saw that your brother has Aspergers), I wondered about Aspergers. I have ADD and my son has some issues which one dev ped thought might be Aspergers but others thought was ADHD. I'm not any type of expert (so please don't take this too seriously -- just ask real experts about it) but from what I read on both, the literal and rigid stuff seems more Aspergers than ADD. Kids with ADD like novelty (but do obviously need structure.) I think you should post on special needs forum and you might get more suggestions there.

My ADHD/anxious child is off-the-charts rigid and can be pretty literal, too. There can be overlap with these neuro disorders and sometimes they are comorbid. I strongly recommend working with a child psychologist and getting a neuropsych exam.Go to Special Needs Board for recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you pp. I was ignoring the nasty pp who is clearly just bored and/or and ass.
Initially we went to the psych it was for aspergers, since it led nowhere I was thinking maybe a different approach, maybe ADHD, psychiatrist as opposed to psych.
Plus, since I was writing my original post as I was crying maybe I wasn't being very clear.
I think some people like to kick others when they are down, maybe it makes them feel superior or something.

NP here. I think the pp was wondering because it seems like early intervention is key and you would know that.

I do understand that, but like I said we went to a psych and it really led nowhere. She thought the best thing to do was wait it out and see if he either matured out of it or if it got worse. Clearly he has gotten worse, but it no longer is looking so much like aspergers. Or if it is ASD it is mild enough that his kindergarten teacher and special Ed teacher were not worried (and they are with him all day every day-special Ed teacher is in the room for someone else but still see him interact with others)

What were the concerns of the preschool teacher? The rigidity and sensory issues MAY be due to AS, kids with AS typically have attention and impulsivity issues (ADHD symptoms) as well. I'm not sure why you haven't contacted the original psychologist who did the eval? Seems like the best place to start. If you have AS and ADHD in the family and previous teachers expressed concern then I don't get why you say you have no idea what is going on.