DD is obsessed with boyfriends

[Anonymous]

Loving all these over the hill frumpsters raging over the idea of people people putting effort into being attractive to attract a mate. Good luck building your utopia of sackcloth blobs plugged into the transhuman Matrix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I am glad my boys are not girl crazy. They are focused on academics and sports. They don’t need to think 1000 girls are hot in their school. I think it is great they only think a handful are pretty.

Most people are average looking. Parents seem to be getting offended that my son may not think their daughter is pretty.

They want your son to try to have sex with their daughter so they can be the hero and prevent it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she have ADHD?

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually in a group of girls, there is a girl who is less attractive and the boys don’t want like her. Maybe that is why she feels bad and left out. I personally wouldn’t want my teen daughter to date but I could see why she feels left out.

I remember my mom telling me if I wanted a boyfriend to always make sure I was the prettiest in any group of friends I had.

I never talked to my mom about this stuff. I made out with a lot of cute boys in high school.

If Op actually wanted to help her daughter, she could help her look her best. This is the same if she is 16, 30 or 45. If you are not attracting men, you probably are not looking attractive.

This is probably the exact wrong message to send.
And probably untrue, too

Of course the mom should not be helping the daughter attract men.

But if a girl/woman wants to attract a guy to be her boyfriend, it isn’t rocket science to look physically attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually in a group of girls, there is a girl who is less attractive and the boys don’t want like her. Maybe that is why she feels bad and left out. I personally wouldn’t want my teen daughter to date but I could see why she feels left out.

I remember my mom telling me if I wanted a boyfriend to always make sure I was the prettiest in any group of friends I had.

This is toxic advice. Your mom told you to actively seek out "unattractive" friends to make you look good for the boys?! Wow.

Just let your daughter vent, OP, and let her know that it's OK to have boys who are friends. That's usually how one gets a boyfriend.

Also, I was pretty nerdy and the chess club, math club, and music boys were hawt to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD16 is constantly complaining about wanting a boyfriend and I’m getting fed up. She is allowed to have one, so I don’t know what the issue is. She has zero romantic experience.

Apparently “all” her friends have boyfriends/girlfriends and she feels left out and like no one is interested in her. I wouldn’t care except for the fact that it has become the subject of most of our conversations. This really gets on my nerves.

When I try to convince her that there are more important things in life than a high school boyfriend, she gets mad and calls me stupid and annoying. Sorry if this sounds rant-y.

She's a healthy teen. Tell her to think about what she needs to do to reach her goals. Is she putting effort into being attractive? Is she outgoing and friendly?
You don't want her to turn into the posters who come on here 40 years old asking how to catch a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually in a group of girls, there is a girl who is less attractive and the boys don’t want like her. Maybe that is why she feels bad and left out. I personally wouldn’t want my teen daughter to date but I could see why she feels left out.

I remember my mom telling me if I wanted a boyfriend to always make sure I was the prettiest in any group of friends I had.

Wow, thats a really touching memory. What a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I am glad my boys are not girl crazy. They are focused on academics and sports. They don’t need to think 1000 girls are hot in their school. I think it is great they only think a handful are pretty.

Most people are average looking. Parents seem to be getting offended that my son may not think their daughter is pretty.

They want your son to try to have sex with their daughter so they can be the hero and prevent it.

My high school kid has a lot of friends. He is friends with girls and I don’t think he is trying to date them.

My son is also very good looking and nice. Just because he isn’t girl crazy and doesn’t think many people are pretty doesn’t mean he goes around calling girls ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to talk her out of wanting romantic love. Do active listening. "Sounds like you're really feeling left out of this stage of life." Ask her what personality traits she wants in a boyfriend. Talk to her about control, abuse and manipulation within the context of a relationship.

I certainly don’t think anyone should be encouraging a teen HS girl to be thinking about “romantic love.” They are far too young for that.

I mean, sure - they they want to have some little puppy-love/ going steady with some boy, that is innocent enough; hold hands or kiss a little.

But it’s too soon to even consider it real, or anything approaching romance; she shouldn’t even be thinking those sorts of thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an extension of your parenting.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Is she pretty?

I have two boys and they often think most girls are not attractive. Maybe the dating ratio also is in play in high school. 80% of boys want 20% of girls.

Yikes. Sounds like your boys have unrealistically high standards if they think "most" girls are not attractive. Have you talked to them about physical appearance being a small part of what makes for a good person and a good relationship?

[Anonymous]

I also have a very pretty daughter. She is too young to date. I’m actually considering sending her to an all girls school to keep the boys away.

I have one son in high school and he hangs out with good looking, smart and athletic boys. Girls often seem to like them and have crushes on them. Our high school seems to not have that many attractive girls. They seem to think other schools have much better looking girls.

Congratulations - you succeeded in making yourself sound more shallow than in your first post! I have sons and daughters and would be all over them if all they cared about was how someone else looked, but clearly you are the same since you pointed out that your son hangs out with attractive boys and his high school doesn't have many pretty girls. Your value system is very screwed up.

[Anonymous]

It's normal for teens to want to date. Most teens talk to their friends about this though, not their parents. It can hurt their self-esteem if most of their friends are dating and they are not. Be kind and not dismissive if she is opening up to you. Ask questions and maybe lead her into discussions as to the type of boys she should be looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I also have a very pretty daughter. She is too young to date. I’m actually considering sending her to an all girls school to keep the boys away.

I have one son in high school and he hangs out with good looking, smart and athletic boys. Girls often seem to like them and have crushes on them. Our high school seems to not have that many attractive girls. They seem to think other schools have much better looking girls.

Congratulations - you succeeded in making yourself sound more shallow than in your first post! I have sons and daughters and would be all over them if all they cared about was how someone else looked, but clearly you are the same since you pointed out that your son hangs out with attractive boys and his high school doesn't have many pretty girls. Your value system is very screwed up.

My kids have good genes. They are smart, good looking, athletic and smart. We are also social and nice people.

I don’t know what to tell you. My high school son plays a lot of sports and hangs out with other kids who play a lot of sports, are smart and good looking. Not all of them are good looking but most of them are. I don’t think he seeks out good looking friends. They have been friends from elementary and then they added to the group in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's normal for teens to want to date. Most teens talk to their friends about this though, not their parents. It can hurt their self-esteem if most of their friends are dating and they are not. Be kind and not dismissive if she is opening up to you. Ask questions and maybe lead her into discussions as to the type of boys she should be looking for.

This. Hormones plus a lot of the focus of pop culture (songs, shows, movies) is on romantic love/physical love. It’s normal to want to date and experience this. The issue is to make sure the kid’s self-esteem isn’t all tied up with this one aspect of life.