Swim mom cliques

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real problem a is the swim dad cliques. Why is no one talking about them?

Menace to Society. Word.

[Anonymous]

oh the drama of summer swim- I always volunteered. My husband was the swim cocktail dad at 8am in the morning and was beloved! He did not know any of the kid's names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children love swimming. I’m struggling with the mom cliques, who base their worth and choose their friends based on club swim groups and the speed of the children. I’m appalled at the fakeness and superficial nature of these parents. I’m reluctant to talk to other swim parents because it is so bad in summer swim and club swim. Does anyone else notice this? Any tips for dealing or avoiding?

Is it like this in other geographic areas besides NoVa?

(even thought *gasp* their elite swimmer isn't doing any better than the non elite club swimmers).

This is super judgy. My middle distance swimmer is never going to be a summer swim standout. I still talk with other parents at my kid's club about what's happening in the club.

[Anonymous]

Thank you parents for the validation!!! Gonna volunteer my #$% off and try to lay low!! God speed to all of us this summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real problem a is the swim dad cliques. Why is no one talking about them?

Preach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real problem a is the swim dad cliques. Why is no one talking about them?

Because most of the dads have zero clue what is going on (which is a good thing) and the few that do are usually overly competitive.

Yeah, the moms are better at covering up competitiveness with socially acceptable drama. The dads usually unleash their competitiveness in very socially unacceptable anger or rage which is very uncomfortable for everyone around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My complaint is usually the moms that do not work and are in the stands. They are a toxic soup at our team - they complain about EVERYTHING and they do very little. I avoid them at all functions and their ugliness.

+1 this all day!!! Years of experience on several different types of teams. The PIA drama queens are always the ones who never pitch in to help. My people are the ones who work hard to make a difference, work well with others, etc. you find them on the pool deck and behind the scenes running meets. There are amazing swim moms (and dads!) out there 💙🩵💙🩵

[Anonymous]

Welcome to club soccer

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen this too, OP. Worse yet, there is a lot of overlap with our summer team and HS team and the cliques just keep on going all year round. I volunteer as a timer which helps and I actually enjoy meeting the parents on the other teams.

I would love to be invited for cocktails if it was at 5pm and not 8 in the morning. Having a drink before “happy hour” kind of times just makes me sleepy and ruins the rest of my day.

[Anonymous]

We have a group of moms that does the minimum and hang out together in the stands to cheer their kids - that is all fine. But, if a kid is seeded in a way they do not want, or their kid DQs, or is slower - they then get crappy. Talk trash. They will have their friends ask the questions the coaches and reps because they don't want to do it themselves. It is so childish. They don't even notice that most avoid them.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid on summer swim and another kid on our pool’s dive team. The dive team (even though several overlap with swim) is a whole different vibe. The hyper-competitive cliqueyness is non-existent, the kids and parents are all very kind and inclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh the drama of summer swim- I always volunteered. My husband was the swim cocktail dad at 8am in the morning and was beloved! He did not know any of the kid's names.

Trust me, not beloved by those moms and dads who are both actually busting ass to run the meets.

[Anonymous]

This is worrisome to hear. Just signed my kid up for this. Is this really what to expect all summer at all pools?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is worrisome to hear. Just signed my kid up for this. Is this really what to expect all summer at all pools?!

No! You and your kids will have a blast. There are mom cliques everywhere there are kids, but it’s usually not the dominating force. Plenty of room to have fun and enjoy summer swim with the rest of the people that have managed to move on from the high school in-crowd mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is worrisome to hear. Just signed my kid up for this. Is this really what to expect all summer at all pools?!

Absolutely not. Moms may seem cliquey at summer swim, but it’s likely because they’ve been spending the past 9 months chatting together in the bleachers at club swim. I’m sure there are summer teams that have legit cliques, but I have yet to see one. Maybe it’s because I spend 100% of my time volunteering with likeminded people and have zero time or tolerance for high school drama. Like attracts like.