Are Therapy and Mindfulness Making Some Kids More Anxious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely think they're overdoing it.

My dd learned about "bucket filling" except all she got from it was that she needs her bucket filled and it's up to others to fill it. She constantly kept saying things to us like "it doesn't fill my bucket when I have to do chores." She misinterpreted so much. We had to talk about filling your own bucket and filling others buckets fills your too. You can't expect other people to fill your bucket.

It's just an example, there were so many other examples over the years. I really wish they'd teach resilience the most. Fix things yourself, you don't need others to be happy, moving past words that other people said because you know they aren't true or nice.

My kid was naturally anxious, so maybe they're the ones that get more anxious the more they learn. After learning about bullying, my dd was convinced everyone was "bullying" her when they didn't want to play.

agree, I stated something similar in another thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1203651.page

Instead of teaching resilience, they are teaching kids to become victims of "mental health" issues. Yes, those issues are real, but focus on the resilience and dealing with it, instead of the "woe is me".

My DC is in therapy, but I also talk to DC about building resilience, and not letting every single little bad emotion be a blocker.

Totally agree with this. DD and I have discussed this a lot and how it feels as if no one has grit and resilience anymore. Some therapists over emphasize validation of feelings, yet don’t tackle the other side of the equation which is how to move forward.

[Anonymous]

People have forgotten that it's ok to feel feelings.

Being sad doesn't mean you're depressed.
Being nervous before a big event doesn't mean you have anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhat related - the whole socioemotional wellness and self esteem above all approach. Criticism = “not kind”

Example is my son is practicing his instrument. I tell him it sounds good but he needs to work on two notes which are flat. Or I tell him it needs to sound sweet and gentle and it sounds harsh.

“That’s not KIND mommy!”l You shouldn’t say that.”

It’s not unkind to tell a kid during practice that a C is too sharp. This is new language with the teacher he has this year. She also doesn’t correct spelling or math at all, just checks that it’s complete. I’m worried he’s not going to be able to handle critical and feedback.

Omg I feel this. My kid did a sloppy, illegible job on his homework and I rather sternly told him to start over with a fresh piece of paper. Cue the meltdown "My feelings are hurt and you're not being kind".
I felt guilty too! But I decided I'm channeling my inner tiger mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhat related - the whole socioemotional wellness and self esteem above all approach. Criticism = “not kind”

Example is my son is practicing his instrument. I tell him it sounds good but he needs to work on two notes which are flat. Or I tell him it needs to sound sweet and gentle and it sounds harsh.

“That’s not KIND mommy!”l You shouldn’t say that.”

It’s not unkind to tell a kid during practice that a C is too sharp. This is new language with the teacher he has this year. She also doesn’t correct spelling or math at all, just checks that it’s complete. I’m worried he’s not going to be able to handle critical and feedback.

Omg I feel this. My kid did a sloppy, illegible job on his homework and I rather sternly told him to start over with a fresh piece of paper. Cue the meltdown "My feelings are hurt and you're not being kind".
I felt guilty too! But I decided I'm channeling my inner tiger mom.

See, I don’t think making a kid redo something that’s illegible is tiger momming! I also told him he is not the best on his soccer team (because he was bragging and he just started playing) and he said his feelings were hurt and I couldn’t say that. Sheesh. I remember when classmates would just straight up say “You’re dumb” and we and adults would all brush it off because kids do say these little things. I think it’s mean but normal. If it’s happening a lot, sure but one comment I think is not the end of the world and not bullying.

[Anonymous]

Schools - especially in FCPS and MoCo, are way overdoing it with their mental health outreach:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1203651.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can u find an aPA or nih study? These seem pretty unscientific.

When you see an article like this, you google the person's name and keywords relevant to the study. Found NIH abstract and sciencedirect full paper in seconds.

I'm a person who thinks mass media articles about court proceedings (especially in the Age of Trump) should when possible link to the filing, and articles about some study somewhere should provide a little more specific information to make it easier to locate the study. But usually it's not that hard to find the study, digging to find a court filing is harder.