Need to leave but don't know how

[Anonymous]

My ex had mental health issues also and it's impossible to get help without their consent, unless you fear for your safety. Hopefully you don't but if you do and he makes a threat, you can get a restraining order.

Maybe you could just go stay with a family member nearby for an extended period of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you can move out without a custody agreement. This would be separation, not divorce.

The court always looks for the best interest of the child and that would be for her to be removed from him.

Try to get as much documentation as possible about you husbands conditions (doctors prescriptions, emails or texts about him staying bed all day, him admitting things he said to the daughter).

Slowly start downsizing your things and make them ready for moving.

Then 1 day when he's away, just get everything out.

You clearly know nothing about this topic.

[Anonymous]

Get a different lawyer, OP. Definitely divorce. I was in your situation, and I stayed for the sake of our child, who later told me that they prayed on a daily basis that we would get divorced so there would be more peace in the house. You have to discuss this with a good lawyer and then discuss it with your husband. The two of you decide who stays in the house, and make it clear that you want to custody. Your lawyer should advise you on what kind of evidence to gather for economic reasons and custody reasons, but generally, you will get split custody.

[Anonymous]

Also, talk to your lawyer about whether you are going to be on the hook for spousal support and how to reduce any exposure you might have along those lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine to move out without a custody agreement. Maybe the two of you together can come up with a temporary agreement, or enlist the help of a mediator.

That's what the lawyer said. It makes me feel so unprotected though. Like he could just keep her.

No - do not move out without a separation agreement! Priority on custody - very close second in assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine to move out without a custody agreement. Maybe the two of you together can come up with a temporary agreement, or enlist the help of a mediator.

That's what the lawyer said. It makes me feel so unprotected though. Like he could just keep her.

No - do not move out without a separation agreement! Priority on custody - very close second in assets.

And I’m a DW in MoCo. Moved out after our marital settlement agreement was signed and filed with the court. Started 50-50 custody that day - kids stayed with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^I meant to add. Start filming every time he rages. Record it preferably on video but at least on audio.

+2. Start a record now, today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^I meant to add. Start filming every time he rages. Record it preferably on video but at least on audio.

+2. Start a record now, today.

And screen shot angry texts ( which is easier)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you can move out without a custody agreement. This would be separation, not divorce.

The court always looks for the best interest of the child and that would be for her to be removed from him.

Try to get as much documentation as possible about you husbands conditions (doctors prescriptions, emails or texts about him staying bed all day, him admitting things he said to the daughter).

Slowly start downsizing your things and make them ready for moving.

Then 1 day when he's away, just get everything out.

You clearly know nothing about this topic.

I'm a PP and I agree! This is not good advice-separation isn't even a legal thing in my state. Don't leave without a custody order, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is divorce lawyer? I’d find a new one.

This.
If and when you move out you leave papers - divorce filing, temp custody.
Then his lawyer has 5 biz days to call your lawyer.
Only talk through lawyers or family text apps or email monitored by lawyers.

Unf id yours breadwinner you know you may have to pay him child support.

Best case is he does not want 50% in practice or in writing. Super best case is he massively messes up during custody time and he goes into supervised custody, visitation or less custody legal status.

Your lawyer would have told you all of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you loved your DH and love DD, why not get him professional help to improve his mental health?

Is this "some type of anxiety or OCD" new? Is it highlighted because he isn't earning enough and you are?

Good luck getting a big mentally ill man to even accept his symptoms let alone a diagnoses or treatment plan.

His parents failed, big time. That was the time to get his professional help and therapies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you such a high earner that you can support 2 separate households? That is likely to be ordered.

I'd set the emotions aside and run numbers for different scenarios.

Why do people say this to women breadwinners, but when a SAHM posts about leaving she is told she will get nothing? I'm confused.