I think all social media that is based on children is awful - regardless of 1 or 10.
There clearly is a large audience of people who like a voyeuristic look into the lives of others so when they see a family exploiting their child(ren) for views and money they take advantage of that chance. I think all social media should have a law that no channel / page etc can show children more than 10% of the time. If you don't click on them and on youtube you can say not to show channels like this - they do eventually leave your feeds for the most part. |
This poster isn't really parenting. |
I don’t get these showing up in my social media . At all. |
I'm anti-helicopter parenting, but it's just a numbers game that it's easier to meet the needs of 2 special needs kids than let's say, 9. Love is infinite, time, money, and resources are NOT. I also don't think you can divorce family size from WHO is having and raising these 10+ kids in 2024. If we're taking about Insta and most of these families with 10+ kids? They're fundies. They fundamentally neglect needs for a greater purpose of reproduction to please God. It's cult-like. Look at the Collins Kids this week walking around wearing fetus t-shirts proclaiming themselves pro-life at 1 year old. It squicks. We've seen enough of people coming from these kind of environments to know it's...not great. Did we learn nothing from the Duggars? |
Touche!! It's true, I always pause to watch with...horror? Fascination? I don't know, but I always feel super icky after. I imagine the whole production; getting all the kids ready, having someone film it, and then what? I've even clicked on the comments, and the mom is clearly reading all of them, ignoring all of the questions about how they feed their children, and only answering other people who chime in with their large family stories/pregnancy announcements. It's just so bizarre and grotesque, but I can't look away. |
PP here. Sure, there are kids in smaller families who get neglected, too, or simply have bad parents. No one said otherwise. I don't think the key to raising kids well is to only have two or something. A lot goes into it. I know families with 4 or 5 kids who are amazing, wonderful parents who really do meet all those kids needs. And I do think that in those specific families, there's also a benefit to the size of the family -- if you can successfully raise 5 kids to be functional adults, then you've also gifted all five or your kids with 4 siblings who are functional adults. That's wonderful. I'm not against large families on principle. But assuming two loving parents with decent parenting skills (so not anxious helicopter parents and not abusive or intentionally neglectful), bast 4 or 5 kids, you still run a high likelihood of just kind of accidentally neglecting a kid. Or unintentionally leaning harder on your older kids to help you parent. You can rationalize it and say it's good for them, but it's not good for all kids. When you talk to people who grew up in really big families (I am one), you get a broad range of reviews. Some kids really thrive in this environment. Often these kids who probably would have done well with a smaller family too, but a big family gave them opportunities for independence and leadership they might not have otherwise gotten. That's nice for them. But you will absolutely also meet a lot of people who basically feel robbed of a childhood. Who grow up to be people pleasers and then have to unlearn all these bad habits from childhood when they trained themselves to simply have no needs because they knew they wouldn't get met. Often kids from huge families have strange misconceptions about themselves -- that they aren't smart (because another sibling was the smart one) or they are a troublemaker (because they were a high needs kid in a family that needed a low needs kid). Large families also often create their own mythos, this idea about how the world works based on the bubble they've created, and often kids from large families struggle socially because that bubble doesn't have much to do with the rest of the world. There's just a ton of pitfalls, way more than there are with smaller families. Even amazing parents can screw up when given enough opportunities to do so, and the more kids you have, the more chances you have to really step in it. |
Duggars raised a huge family, not sure I would call that an accomplishment. One son in jail for sexually abusing the younger siblings, several siblings no longer talking to their parents...anyway, I have no problem with big families (I'm Catholic and I get some of this large family content on my Instagram as well) but really push back at the idea this is an "accomplishment" especially when you are selling them out as clickbait or reality tv. |
Have you seen the research about only child? It is not in line with your experience. |
I shared a room with my sister growing up. Question - would this have been acceptable if there were only 2 of us? Or is it neglect because we came from a family of 4 kids? Btw two went on to ivies and the other two of us went to the same top tier non ivy. And my brother who attended the top tier non ivy with me is an extremely successful executive in finance. My dad went to Yale law, my mom also has a grad degree, and they raised four successful kids. DCUM acts like it’s only possible to be a good parent to two kids, and that simply isn’t true. My husband is one of two - they were far more coddled and had more difficulty adjusting into adulthood. I agree that these large Instagram families of 10 kids seem nuts. But two, while average, is not the only good number. It depends on the parents and their resources + abilities. |
What research are you referring to on only children? |
Do people here really think families in poor counties are all terrible parents? Most people don't even know what piano lessons are. |
All I can think about when I see these is the Duggars and Ruby Franke. |
Nothing is new. Remember all the specials in the 90s and 00s about big families, multiples etc.? People like to gawk and are fascinated by it. |
I think there’s something healthy about kids not getting all of their parents’ attention all the time. And what’s so wrong with older kids being expected to help cook? These are basic life skills and kids should take pride in contributing to the household.
My sister and I joke that we practically raised our baby brother when we were teenagers. Endless diaper changes, made baby food, took him on walks, did school runs. It didn’t replace an adult parent and the real responsibilities of being a parent of course. But it was one of the greatest honors of my life. |
You are sick |