+1 she posted about 5 times in a row. |
Boy you really are trying to flip this to satisfy your version of men aren't you? Misandrist much? |
+1. Russian bots at it again. Just ignore them. |
I only realized how abusive my father was when he died when I was 13. Oh, well. |
Greyrock |
Why is it so hard for you to accept that people disagree with you? Are you a narc? |
Eh, I was aware that my parents were not great very early on. Honestly, it was a personality mismatch. I am very introverted. My parents just want to talk talk talk and talk loudly. They ask me questions and as I’m mid sentence answering them, they’re speaking over me asking follow up questions. I am quiet, they are rude and loud. Very rude, and openly disdain all sorts of disadvantaged people. It would get embarrassing for them, rather I’d be embarrassed, long before trump was a phenom. It just wasn’t a Great parent child match. I’ve seen some of my parents friends whose kids become like them as they age, as they choose to soend a ton of time together as adults. I just don’t want that and never did. If that makes sense. |
Maybe he was a selfish jerk AND she badmouthed him. Both CAN be true. |
What made him the better parent on his weekend custody time? Guess you had it all figured out before age 14 when he died somehow. |
It clicked for me with they dad when I was 13 or so, and watching him lose his $hit on my younger brothers there and very something inane. As I watched the scene unfold, I had this realization thatu dad's temper and fury were not a parenting choice but just emotional reactivity, an inability to think critically about the situation and come up with a solution that might have actually provided my brother with guidance and helped him do better the next time. I never really respected him after that. I also stopped fearing him.
With my mom it took longer. She's a classic enabler and for a long time I viewed her as a victim who was doing her best. As I got older I realized more how she enabled my dad's abuse and used lies and manipulation to place us in harm's way. It was very upsetting when I started understanding this dynamic. I think I have finally, in my mid-40s, come to terms with the fact that I will never have the loving, attentive parents every kid deserves. |
All your kids will be saying the same thing about you in 20 years. |
Yep dad was kicked out before 5 didn’t really show any interest after, mom signed over power of attorney to a family friend and also showed little interest since. She wouldn’t even terminate her parental rights for an adoption even though never fully re-entered our lives.
I had bottom of the barrel parents. The woman she left us with had her foster license taken away for abuse. She recently called to see if she could come to my wedding next year. |
I maintain that grandkids make their grandparents faster than we do our own parents. Also, funny as hell. |
+1 to the bolded. Just did this for a big spring break trip. I wish I had the type of parents I could tell about an exciting trip, but mine are not that. My narcissistic mother and weak father would take all the joy out of it. Also, +1 to the PP(s) who said the mother trivializes health issues in others and refuses to care for the father. My mother has constant health crises, but when my father couldn't breathe one night, she told him he was overreacting. He called an ambulance instead, ended up in the ICU, and had heart surgery. When he was released about a week later with instructions not to drive, my mother left him home alone with no food anywhere in the house and took off for their beach condo. I found out weeks later. |
I get it, I married into a family I now know is aspergers and on the spectrum. I think my MiL got aspergated along the way and now only has zingers and out downs. She takes great joy out of watching me struggle with FIL who can’t even respond to What do you want in your sandwich, this or that. I guess that’s what happens to you after 20,30,40 years living with three aspies. |