DS 13 is a nightmare with braces

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this were my kid, I’d work with the dentist to find a solution. Something like upping the dentist appointments to 1-2/week for a month to have dentist check that nothing is broken or fix what is. Set regular interval. Explain to kid that each time he goes and nothing is broken he gets a treat or reward and is find something that he would be excited about (special treat safe for braces, activity time, etc.).

Good luck, this sounds so hard.

Our ortho had us come in monthly. This is good advice.

[Anonymous]

As I was reading this post, it reminded me of all the potty training posts on this site.

When a kid is struggling there are typically 3 camps of people...

1) those that want to bail when it's not a cake walk
2) those that are trying to figure out a way to battle their way through
3) those that suggest bribery

Option 1 I always hate because it teaches kids that they can't do something that they can clearly do.
Option 2 never goes well because it's a battle of wills. There's always too much emotion involved.
Option 3 sometimes works, but if the parent and child are locked in a battle, it almost always backfires.

So what to do?

Get on the same TEAM as your son. Sympathize. He's clearly uncomfortable, maybe in ways you can't understand. Troubleshoot. What strategies can you try?

From this thread, the advil strategy seems like a good place to start. Prescheduling dentist appointments seems reasonable also.

Sit down and figure out a plan with him. Cheer him on when he does well. Sympathize when he's having trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

[Anonymous]

We declined braces for our ASD DC. No thanks, I'm not going to put my kid through hell for straighter teeth.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you post on the Disabilities and Special Needs board, you might get more helpful suggestions. Kids on the spectrum often have different experiences with pain, discomfort, and sensory inputs, so helping them overcome those requires a different approach.

Obviously you can’t tackle this with punishments or incentives, if neither one is a motivator for your kid. But others with kids on the spectrum have been there, and can probably suggest ways to mitigate issues and approach the problem from another angle.

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old was terrible as well. It became such an argument and fighting all the time. We finally stopped treatment. He got a retainer to maintain what we started.

I told him we gave him the opportunity and he clearly didn’t want it and so now he can deal with it as an adult.

We are a much more peaceful home now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old was terrible as well. It became such an argument and fighting all the time. We finally stopped treatment. He got a retainer to maintain what we started.

I told him we gave him the opportunity and he clearly didn’t want it and so now he can deal with it as an adult.

We are a much more peaceful home now.

Oh and yes, we had paid. It sucked which is why I clearly explained that this was on him going forward.

[Anonymous]

I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if its not the original treatment plan.

Its so frustrating!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if they are careful brackets and wires break.

I would say he is doing it deliberately to try to get the orthodontist to cancel treatment. There is NO WAY that many brackets breaking off at that rate on accident.

My 13 yea riel had braces and never broke a bracket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

If OP’s son is deliberately undermining treatment without fear of punishment or consequences, then you can consider that money lost, because eventually, the orthodontist may very well decide to terminate treatment due to non-compliance if OP does not cut her losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hugs! I’m in the same place. Mine is not intentionally popping brackets and breaking wires, but it’s like a tic he can’t stop fooling around with it. Also same on food. I can show him what he can’t eat from the orthodontist, but he like crunchy things. We need them, he is missing adult teeth, and chose a doctor that is full time so we can get in lots, but they are now threatening more charges, which are totally reasonable, but we are giving consequences of no screens next time we have to bring him in early.

Oh, I wish I could find a way to give consequences. I already can't bribe him, and promising consequences does nothing to prevent anything. He has already shown he is willing to have consequences than to cooperate with this orthodontic treatment.

Then maybe you should let him experience the consequences of not fixing his teeth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if its not the original treatment plan.

Its so frustrating!!

Sometimes, there is no winning, isn't there? My younger brother is also on the autism spectrum and has a DEEP overbite. Unfortunately, his dental hygiene was terrible growing up, and it was a constant battle just to get him to brush his teeth. He had to go in to get cavities filled several times a year, and got a crown at 16, and it still took him until his mid twenties to get him to start brushing on his own. Because of this, no orthodontist would even take him as a patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if it’s not the original treatment plan.

Its so frustrating!!

I think that’s more true of expanders and headgear than of braces. With anything to do with the palate or jaw, you want to catch them before they finish growing.

But teeth can be moved with braces or aligners after growth has stopped. Best to ask your orthodontist about your particular kid’s situation, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.