When teachers/admin at independent schools are members of private clubs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any thoughts on this dynamic? Because these teachers and administrators end up running in the same circles as the wealthiest members of the school community, how do they avoid a conflict of interest/bias?

Short answer? Unless they are consciously thoughtful, they don’t avoid bias and favoritism.

In private schools it is all about about money and influence. The top academic honors at our school go to board members’ kids, not the top students who actually earned the best GPAs.

Good lesson for the kids to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In private schools it is all about about money and influence. The top academic honors at our school go to board members’ kids, not the top students who actually earned the best GPAs.

Is this a DC area school?

[Anonymous]

OP thinks its beneath her to socialize with a teacher. You know the old saying, "I don't want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When unnamed corporate/political interests with matters before the Supreme Court pay for Justices’ memberships at private clubs: That’s how society works

When private school parents see their kid’s teacher at the same club: This is a conflict of interest and should be illegal

I'm pretty sure that federal judges are no longer allowed to accept gratis membership at country clubs etc. (A good friend worked in the Senate a decade ago and I recall her saying that this was a pet issue of some senator, and so they got the ban through.)

Have you not seen the news re Clarence Thomas? As a federal employee, I have to report these sorts of things....he didn't (hoever, I'm not sure if he was asked to do so in the same way my agency does)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I belong to both BJ's Wholesale Club and Costco. I see our Head of School there frequently.

And I'm pretty sure they've got a Coke problem. They're always loading up on cases whenever I see them.

brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any thoughts on this dynamic? Because these teachers and administrators end up running in the same circles as the wealthiest members of the school community, how do they avoid a conflict of interest/bias?

NP. It does not matter much in regards to teachers but YES for certain it matters if admissions folks or HOS are at certain clubs. Why do you think the Governing Boards at certain schools are made up of parents that belong to certain clubs? Best run schools and communities have much less of this sort of thing.

Huh? I'm pretty certain the STA, NCS, SFS boards all have parents that belong to prestigious clubs and organizations....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember speaking with a private school parent at 3:45 pm on a Friday afternoon after school. She was rude and dismissive of my call about a school matter and I hung feeling a little shaken. I then left to attend a gathering where the trustees of a prestigious non-profit were basically vetting nominees to their board. That parent was there and the look on her face was priceless when she realized that I was an actual human being who ran in her same social circles and had been nominated. Once I was on the board, she was quite friendly.

We're not your social inferiors. In many cases, we're better educated.

In no way would a parent's bad or favorable treatment of me (or my colleagues) affect the student. We understand professional boundaries and we're educators because we love kids. Doesn't mean we like the parents, though. I was asked later by the Advancement director if I thought that parent would be a constructive voice in the parents association or board. I didn't say anything disparaging but I also declined to support that idea when I had the chance.

Sorry this happened but I have to say - it sucks for the rest of us parents - when we are either "treated as if we are" or "assumed to be" like THAT parent. I'm so tired of admins or teachers assuming the worst...(and I hardly engage with teachers/admin).

[Anonymous]

Omgggg are you the same person who posted a few days ago, SUPER bent out of shape that your kid’s teacher could afford Golden Goose’s when you can’t?

[Anonymous]

This is weird AF. I don't care what clubs anyone belongs to - where they summer - or who they socialize with outside of school. I would never assume that someone favors someone else's kid because they belong to the same country club.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids’ teachers is also a member at our country club. Once my kid got over the initial “OMG my teacher is a human who exists outside of school!” awkwardness it was all totally cool. I’m betting this teacher does not particularly love seeing us outside of school (although we only ever exchange pleasantries and never talk about school). lol being at the same club is probably working against us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember speaking with a private school parent at 3:45 pm on a Friday afternoon after school. She was rude and dismissive of my call about a school matter and I hung feeling a little shaken. I then left to attend a gathering where the trustees of a prestigious non-profit were basically vetting nominees to their board. That parent was there and the look on her face was priceless when she realized that I was an actual human being who ran in her same social circles and had been nominated. Once I was on the board, she was quite friendly.

We're not your social inferiors. In many cases, we're better educated.

In no way would a parent's bad or favorable treatment of me (or my colleagues) affect the student. We understand professional boundaries and we're educators because we love kids. Doesn't mean we like the parents, though. I was asked later by the Advancement director if I thought that parent would be a constructive voice in the parents association or board. I didn't say anything disparaging but I also declined to support that idea when I had the chance.

Sorry this happened but I have to say - it sucks for the rest of us parents - when we are either "treated as if we are" or "assumed to be" like THAT parent. I'm so tired of admins or teachers assuming the worst...(and I hardly engage with teachers/admin).

Maybe you should engage once in awhile.

I am sure teachers are tired of those parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In private schools it is all about about money and influence. The top academic honors at our school go to board members’ kids, not the top students who actually earned the best GPAs.

Is this a DC area school?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember speaking with a private school parent at 3:45 pm on a Friday afternoon after school. She was rude and dismissive of my call about a school matter and I hung feeling a little shaken. I then left to attend a gathering where the trustees of a prestigious non-profit were basically vetting nominees to their board. That parent was there and the look on her face was priceless when she realized that I was an actual human being who ran in her same social circles and had been nominated. Once I was on the board, she was quite friendly.

We're not your social inferiors. In many cases, we're better educated.

In no way would a parent's bad or favorable treatment of me (or my colleagues) affect the student. We understand professional boundaries and we're educators because we love kids. Doesn't mean we like the parents, though. I was asked later by the Advancement director if I thought that parent would be a constructive voice in the parents association or board. I didn't say anything disparaging but I also declined to support that idea when I had the chance.

Sorry this happened but I have to say - it sucks for the rest of us parents - when we are either "treated as if we are" or "assumed to be" like THAT parent. I'm so tired of admins or teachers assuming the worst...(and I hardly engage with teachers/admin).

Maybe you should engage once in awhile.

I am sure teachers are tired of those parents.

Hmmm, I understand PPs point. I am a teacher, and I have worked with "those parents". I have also seen how defensive teachers / admin can be. Parents need to partner more /project less .. teachers need to not be defensive or make it about themselves. Obviously Im describing when relationships go wrong, but I worry that "worry about being that parent or assumptions/hostility that your kid got that teacher" can inhibit honest conversation to the benefit of the student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember speaking with a private school parent at 3:45 pm on a Friday afternoon after school. She was rude and dismissive of my call about a school matter and I hung feeling a little shaken. I then left to attend a gathering where the trustees of a prestigious non-profit were basically vetting nominees to their board. That parent was there and the look on her face was priceless when she realized that I was an actual human being who ran in her same social circles and had been nominated. Once I was on the board, she was quite friendly.

We're not your social inferiors. In many cases, we're better educated.

In no way would a parent's bad or favorable treatment of me (or my colleagues) affect the student. We understand professional boundaries and we're educators because we love kids. Doesn't mean we like the parents, though. I was asked later by the Advancement director if I thought that parent would be a constructive voice in the parents association or board. I didn't say anything disparaging but I also declined to support that idea when I had the chance.

Sorry this happened but I have to say - it sucks for the rest of us parents - when we are either "treated as if we are" or "assumed to be" like THAT parent. I'm so tired of admins or teachers assuming the worst...(and I hardly engage with teachers/admin).

Maybe you should engage once in awhile.

I am sure teachers are tired of those parents.

Hmmm, I understand PPs point. I am a teacher, and I have worked with "those parents". I have also seen how defensive teachers / admin can be. Parents need to partner more /project less .. teachers need to not be defensive or make it about themselves. Obviously Im describing when relationships go wrong, but I worry that "worry about being that parent or assumptions/hostility that your kid got that teacher" can inhibit honest conversation to the benefit of the student.

I understand both sides too and agree that engagement is key. A parent who engages positively with teachers, one on one, won’t be seen as THAT parent by a teacher, even one accustomed to dealing with THOSE parents. If you “hardly” engage with people who care for and teach your children every day, you aren’t helping to create the most positive experience for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you overestimate the social scene at a club - or the power of it. Members aren’t always running into each other or socializing. At the most, it would be equivalent to having a teacher’s kid and your kid on the same sports team. Not a big deal.

This. I use my club for golf, an occasional meal and family time. Not to conspire with school admins.