8 year old getting ears pinned back
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Anonymous
| My daughter is 8 years old and to be frank, her ears stick out quite a bit. I have never mentioned it to her and always told myself that when she is older, IF she brings it up, I will let her get them pinned back. In my mind I always thought older would be like 14. Well, I was wrong. Last night she came to me after her younger sibs were in bed asking to have a "deep" chat. She basically said she hates her ears and wants them fixed. She claims no one is bullying her or making fun of her and she has come to this decision on her own. I am so nervous to let my "little" girl have. "unnecessary" surgery. I didn't think she would become this self conscious this young and it makes my heart ache. One side of me whats me to schedule it ASAP so she doesn't have to feel this way but another side of me makes me wonder if I am sending the wrong message by letting my 8 year old get plastic surgery. Ughhh this is so hard, even though in my mind I always thought this would be a no brainer when the time came. I want her to feel confident how she is and know that she is perfect, but I also don't want to set her up for years of unnecessary stress and possible teasing. Opinions? What would you do? |
Anonymous
| I would let her do it. I would tell her she looks good and it isn't necessary, but you will pursue it if she wants you to. I had an awful early adolescence and it was partly because my parents would not let me conform to other kids (shave my legs or have nice clothes). |
Anonymous
| Could you schedule one or two sessions with a therapist to ensure she has realistic expectations and is otherwise fine? |
Anonymous
This sounds reasonable. |
Anonymous
| I had my ears pinned back when I was 9. My mom did the same thing you did, I think. She let me come to my own conclusion about it and waited for me to approach her. Since this is often hereditary, once I decided I wanted it done, I actually talked to my aunt who had also had the procedure done. It is the best thing I ever did for myself and I have never regretted it, not even once. I never thought of my mom's perspective on it, but I think it is pretty cool you would let her have it done. |
Anonymous
| PS- I was awake for the whole surgery and it wasn't bad at all. I also had it done over the summer when school was out, and no one even knew the difference when I went back to school in the Fall. |
Anonymous
|
first ears eventually lipo and breasts
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/teen-plastic-surgery/story?id=12163764 |
Anonymous
You are ridiculous. And SO unhelpful. |
Anonymous
| It's so wonderful that she came to you and shared her deep feelings and that you were kind and respectful in your response. |
Anonymous
|
I also had ears that stuck out quite badly and I was very self conscious about them growing up. People did say hurtful things, sometimes, and that continued even into my 20s. My dad for one said "We should have had that surgery done" when I came home from work with my hair pulled back once when I was 16.
I ended up getting the surgery done a couple years ago at the age of 36. I really wish my parents had the means to when I was younger. |
Anonymous
| Some famous folks with large protruding ears--Barak Obama, Will Smith, Andy Roddick and Clay Aiken. Why is it okay for men, who you usually can clearly see their ears, to have big ears? And not okay for women, who you don't always see their ears, depending on hairstyle or how they wear their hair? And isn't that type of cosmetic surgery actually one of the more painful procedures? |
Anonymous
|
I don't think she needs a therapist - health professionals if you consult about the surgery can provide information for her and you to discuss.
I think ear pinning is completely reasonable. It is like fixing a nose that stands out or a wandering eye. Whenever someone has a feature that draws attention away from the person to the feature, it should be on the table for surgery / treatment in my opinion. |
Anonymous
I read that double eyelid surgery is pretty popular in Asia. And so is skin whitening cream. |
Anonymous
|
OP, I suspect most of the people with the negative comments have no idea what ear pinning involves and why one would do it. No, it's not "just like lipo." Yikes. (And plenty of men have the surgery, too!) It's more akin to the wandering eye. Do you have to fix it? Well, no, but...
I had a different ear congenital condition but had it surgically corrected when I was 13. My parents basically did the same thing---waited till I was old enough to ask for it fixed. (In my case I couldn't have my ears pierced till post-surgery, either, which was a big deal in the tween years, but they set 13 as the age when I was "old enough" to make the decision. Fortunately, mine wasn't noticeable when my hair wasn't pulled back, so I didn't deal with as much teasing.) I was also awake for the surgery, like the PP, and it wasn't a big deal. I believe our insurance covered it. It actually seems like a much bigger deal in retrospect now that I have a child! My parents were very good about not making an issue of the condition and letting me steer the decision, to their credit. (In fact, the only time they ever said anything about it beyond discussing the surgery was when my son was born and my dad asked, "did you check his ears?" 
Good luck, OP, but sounds like you're on the right road! |
Anonymous
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My coworker had his done around that age. He said it barely hurt, and recovery time was quick. He was very happy he had it done before 10, when kids start to get more cruel.
I don't think she needs a therapist, this is pretty normal, and if it spares her from being teased (on this issue at least), I'd wouldn't hesitate! |