Birth rate plummets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to dating app data and anecdotal experience 80% of women tend to go for the 5% of men. Those men have little incentive to settle down because they have an abundance of options.

Women want to date a higher status male. A successful woman has a hard time dating a waiter, while the inverse is not true. The higher a woman's status, the smaller her dating pool becomes. The higher a man's status becomes, the larger his dating pool becomes.

Women have become highly educated and their statuses have climbed dramatically over the last several decades, but their dating preferences have only gotten stricter and stricter. So they end up not pairing off and having babies. And the birth rate drops. Women need to widen their dating preferences. Read the book “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb. It does a good job explaining this.

Or -- hear me out, here -- maybe women need to decide whether or not dating the men available to them is really worth it, or if they want to stay single. Because if the men don't measure up, maybe it's up to them to do better instead of women's responsibility to accept less (if that lesser is not worth it to them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think another factor is the number of “failure to launch” men who are not really marriage material. I have a number of friends and a SIL (all mid 40s+ now) who wanted to marry and have kids but it just never happened. Not enough good guys to go around. All of them possibly could have “settled” or become single moms but didn’t feel strongly enough to go to such lengths. All are happy with their lives - lots of friends, career, hobbies etc. and don’t seem to have any real regrets.

I think in times past, they would’ve felt more pressure to settle and marry. Many did, I think. I don’t remember knowing many “single never married” middle aged+ women when I was a kid. None in our extended families or our social circle/neighborhood that I recall offhand. Now I know many!

I think men and women are overall pretty much the same. It’s just that women think they are worthy of a better deal, and some never find that perfect man. No one is perfect in their 20s, people should marry someone good enough and be happy if they want to be. Or we have women of 40 years still looking.
I am a woman fwiw

Have a mid twenties DD. She laughs about how some of her friends have "unrealistic expectations" about what a man should be. No human could match what they want.

if they's rather not have a man than pick from the options open to them, then that's how it goes.

The men here on DCUM seem overwhelmingly fixated on weight, which -- fair enough -- is a choice. But maybe they need to widen their dating pool and drop their standards if they want a relationship and/or children.

[Anonymous]

^^If they'd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to dating app data and anecdotal experience 80% of women tend to go for the 5% of men. Those men have little incentive to settle down because they have an abundance of options.

Women want to date a higher status male. A successful woman has a hard time dating a waiter, while the inverse is not true. The higher a woman's status, the smaller her dating pool becomes. The higher a man's status becomes, the larger his dating pool becomes.

Women have become highly educated and their statuses have climbed dramatically over the last several decades, but their dating preferences have only gotten stricter and stricter. So they end up not pairing off and having babies. And the birth rate drops. Women need to widen their dating preferences. Read the book “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb. It does a good job explaining this.

Why? The single childless women I know are some of the happiest people I know. Meanwhile the single childless men are often angry and miserable.

At least based on what I see, men are the ones that should be changing.

[Anonymous]

If I was not happily married with a good income, I definitely would not have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to dating app data and anecdotal experience 80% of women tend to go for the 5% of men. Those men have little incentive to settle down because they have an abundance of options.

Women want to date a higher status male. A successful woman has a hard time dating a waiter, while the inverse is not true. The higher a woman's status, the smaller her dating pool becomes. The higher a man's status becomes, the larger his dating pool becomes.

Women have become highly educated and their statuses have climbed dramatically over the last several decades, but their dating preferences have only gotten stricter and stricter. So they end up not pairing off and having babies. And the birth rate drops. Women need to widen their dating preferences. Read the book “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb. It does a good job explaining this.

Or -- hear me out, here -- maybe women need to decide whether or not dating the men available to them is really worth it, or if they want to stay single. Because if the men don't measure up, maybe it's up to them to do better instead of women's responsibility to accept less (if that lesser is not worth it to them).

There's only a finite number of seats at elite colleges and professional programs. We're seeing the decade of "girls who code" and "boys play sports" coming up through the system now. The numbers don't add up, unless multiple women want to share the Alpha male - in which case - sure I'd happily be that male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think another factor is the number of “failure to launch” men who are not really marriage material. I have a number of friends and a SIL (all mid 40s+ now) who wanted to marry and have kids but it just never happened. Not enough good guys to go around. All of them possibly could have “settled” or become single moms but didn’t feel strongly enough to go to such lengths. All are happy with their lives - lots of friends, career, hobbies etc. and don’t seem to have any real regrets.

I think in times past, they would’ve felt more pressure to settle and marry. Many did, I think. I don’t remember knowing many “single never married” middle aged+ women when I was a kid. None in our extended families or our social circle/neighborhood that I recall offhand. Now I know many!

I think men and women are overall pretty much the same. It’s just that women think they are worthy of a better deal, and some never find that perfect man. No one is perfect in their 20s, people should marry someone good enough and be happy if they want to be. Or we have women of 40 years still looking.
I am a woman fwiw

Have a mid twenties DD. She laughs about how some of her friends have "unrealistic expectations" about what a man should be. No human could match what they want.

if they's rather not have a man than pick from the options open to them, then that's how it goes.

The men here on DCUM seem overwhelmingly fixated on weight, which -- fair enough -- is a choice. But maybe they need to widen their dating pool and drop their standards if they want a relationship and/or children.

What's a guy got to be? 6'0? Make over $150k / year? In decent shape?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think another factor is the number of “failure to launch” men who are not really marriage material. I have a number of friends and a SIL (all mid 40s+ now) who wanted to marry and have kids but it just never happened. Not enough good guys to go around. All of them possibly could have “settled” or become single moms but didn’t feel strongly enough to go to such lengths. All are happy with their lives - lots of friends, career, hobbies etc. and don’t seem to have any real regrets.

I think in times past, they would’ve felt more pressure to settle and marry. Many did, I think. I don’t remember knowing many “single never married” middle aged+ women when I was a kid. None in our extended families or our social circle/neighborhood that I recall offhand. Now I know many!

I think men and women are overall pretty much the same. It’s just that women think they are worthy of a better deal, and some never find that perfect man. No one is perfect in their 20s, people should marry someone good enough and be happy if they want to be. Or we have women of 40 years still looking.
I am a woman fwiw

Have a mid twenties DD. She laughs about how some of her friends have "unrealistic expectations" about what a man should be. No human could match what they want.

if they's rather not have a man than pick from the options open to them, then that's how it goes.

The men here on DCUM seem overwhelmingly fixated on weight, which -- fair enough -- is a choice. But maybe they need to widen their dating pool and drop their standards if they want a relationship and/or children.

Maybe the "normalization" of being overweight / obese is just another tool the elites are using to prevent us all from having kids. I mean, make enough men/women unattractive, bury everyone in their 20's in student debt, make homes cost $1.5M, and you're bound to have a declining birth rate.

[Anonymous]

Western societies emasculate their men. Testosterone levels are at their lowest in human history. What results do you expect?
More over, men now prefer to date other men, women date other women.
Those are among other things recipes for birth rate decrease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Western societies emasculate their men. Testosterone levels are at their lowest in human history. What results do you expect?
More over, men now prefer to date other men, women date other women.
Those are among other things recipes for birth rate decrease.

Loving the direction this conversation is taking.
Have you perhaps looked into a sunlamp for your ballz?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to dating app data and anecdotal experience 80% of women tend to go for the 5% of men. Those men have little incentive to settle down because they have an abundance of options.

Women want to date a higher status male. A successful woman has a hard time dating a waiter, while the inverse is not true. The higher a woman's status, the smaller her dating pool becomes. The higher a man's status becomes, the larger his dating pool becomes.

Women have become highly educated and their statuses have climbed dramatically over the last several decades, but their dating preferences have only gotten stricter and stricter. So they end up not pairing off and having babies. And the birth rate drops. Women need to widen their dating preferences. Read the book “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb. It does a good job explaining this.

Or -- hear me out, here -- maybe women need to decide whether or not dating the men available to them is really worth it, or if they want to stay single. Because if the men don't measure up, maybe it's up to them to do better instead of women's responsibility to accept less (if that lesser is not worth it to them).

There's only a finite number of seats at elite colleges and professional programs. We're seeing the decade of "girls who code" and "boys play sports" coming up through the system now. The numbers don't add up, unless multiple women want to share the Alpha male - in which case - sure I'd happily be that male.

I know “girls who code” but don’t get the “boys play sports” …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think another factor is the number of “failure to launch” men who are not really marriage material. I have a number of friends and a SIL (all mid 40s+ now) who wanted to marry and have kids but it just never happened. Not enough good guys to go around. All of them possibly could have “settled” or become single moms but didn’t feel strongly enough to go to such lengths. All are happy with their lives - lots of friends, career, hobbies etc. and don’t seem to have any real regrets.

I think in times past, they would’ve felt more pressure to settle and marry. Many did, I think. I don’t remember knowing many “single never married” middle aged+ women when I was a kid. None in our extended families or our social circle/neighborhood that I recall offhand. Now I know many!

I think men and women are overall pretty much the same. It’s just that women think they are worthy of a better deal, and some never find that perfect man. No one is perfect in their 20s, people should marry someone good enough and be happy if they want to be. Or we have women of 40 years still looking.
I am a woman fwiw

Have a mid twenties DD. She laughs about how some of her friends have "unrealistic expectations" about what a man should be. No human could match what they want.

if they's rather not have a man than pick from the options open to them, then that's how it goes.

The men here on DCUM seem overwhelmingly fixated on weight, which -- fair enough -- is a choice. But maybe they need to widen their dating pool and drop their standards if they want a relationship and/or children.

What's a guy got to be? 6'0? Make over $150k / year? In decent shape?

There seem to be a lot of men under 6 foot height and under $150,000 per year who are still dating and getting married. Maybe it has something to do with filing down the chip on the shoulder and not requiring being mothered in a relationship, I dunno.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Western societies emasculate their men. Testosterone levels are at their lowest in human history. What results do you expect?
More over, men now prefer to date other men, women date other women.
Those are among other things recipes for birth rate decrease.

Got a cite for that? How long do you think we've been measuring testosterone levels in a routine way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to dating app data and anecdotal experience 80% of women tend to go for the 5% of men. Those men have little incentive to settle down because they have an abundance of options.

Women want to date a higher status male. A successful woman has a hard time dating a waiter, while the inverse is not true. The higher a woman's status, the smaller her dating pool becomes. The higher a man's status becomes, the larger his dating pool becomes.

Women have become highly educated and their statuses have climbed dramatically over the last several decades, but their dating preferences have only gotten stricter and stricter. So they end up not pairing off and having babies. And the birth rate drops. Women need to widen their dating preferences. Read the book “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb. It does a good job explaining this.

Or -- hear me out, here -- maybe women need to decide whether or not dating the men available to them is really worth it, or if they want to stay single. Because if the men don't measure up, maybe it's up to them to do better instead of women's responsibility to accept less (if that lesser is not worth it to them).

I think women have really changed in the last couple of generations. Unfortunately, I don’t think men have changed much. The idea of a “trad wife” or the whole “man of the house” trope is not really appealing for women. Women are looking for an equal partnership and until men adjust to this idea, marriage won’t be in the cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to dating app data and anecdotal experience 80% of women tend to go for the 5% of men. Those men have little incentive to settle down because they have an abundance of options.

Women want to date a higher status male. A successful woman has a hard time dating a waiter, while the inverse is not true. The higher a woman's status, the smaller her dating pool becomes. The higher a man's status becomes, the larger his dating pool becomes.

Women have become highly educated and their statuses have climbed dramatically over the last several decades, but their dating preferences have only gotten stricter and stricter. So they end up not pairing off and having babies. And the birth rate drops. Women need to widen their dating preferences. Read the book “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb. It does a good job explaining this.

Or -- hear me out, here -- maybe women need to decide whether or not dating the men available to them is really worth it, or if they want to stay single. Because if the men don't measure up, maybe it's up to them to do better instead of women's responsibility to accept less (if that lesser is not worth it to them).

I think women have really changed in the last couple of generations. Unfortunately, I don’t think men have changed much. The idea of a “trad wife” or the whole “man of the house” trope is not really appealing for women. Women are looking for an equal partnership and until men adjust to this idea, marriage won’t be in the cards.

And the planet will be really happy to see the human population decrease as it will take men a LOOOOOOONG time to get it together.
As someone that wants a healthy, sustainable planet, it’s a good thing!