Pacifier weaning question
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Anonymous
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DS is 22 mos and the pacifier has been for sleep only since around 12 mos. Since he's in a pretty cooperative phase right now, we decided to try dropping the pacifier. Daycare "forgot" it for a few naps and that has been fine. I then "forgot" it at bedtime, and also pretty smooth: both nights so far DS has asked for it, but when I said it was gone, he just rolled over and went to sleep. However, both nights he then woke up 3-4 hours later crying and asking for the pacifier. It's not his angry "I don't want to be in bed" cry, it's not a pain cry, it's this very soft cry combined with a super-sad face and whispering "binkie? binkie?" like he's lost and confused. I tried patting and cuddling DS to soothe him, but to no effect.
So far the requests have been too heart-melting to resist and I've given DS his pacifier, after which he went right back to sleep for the night. I am thinking I'll wait until no-pacifier napping and bedtime have become standard and see if the 11pm requests disappear on their own, but has anyone else had this experience, where bedtime is fine but DC wants the pacifier in the middle of the night? |
Anonymous
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I'm in your same situation- my DS is a little over 2. Here's where I think I went wrong- I should have taken it away before he was really aware, like at 6 mos. I didn't, and now it has gone on until now, when he's really verbal but not rational. Therefore, I'm leaving things alone until he's rational. Then the pacifier fairy is going to take it. But at this point, he wouldn't get it-- and he'd wake up sad in the middle of the night, and we all need our sleep!
My mom says that my sister and I both had ours for sleeping until age 3, then she did the pacifier fairy thing (though I think it was Santa Claus who took them, ha ha), and we had no issue because we "got it." |
Anonymous
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I didn't wean my guy until later but just to prep him for weaning, I bought the book Goodbye Binky. I think it helped him understand that the binky went to smaller babies to be used so I didn't have to deal with those gut wrenching sounds. For the longest time my justification was "Who am I to take something away that provides so much comfort" but then the overall ickiness of it being thrown here, there, everywhere just got to me and my fear of cooties won.
Here's the book I picked up http://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Binky-Fairy-Story/dp/0979670004 He actually liked it so much that on some nights after reading, he took the book to bed with him. |
Anonymous
| Although it was limited to bed, we missed the pacifier-removal window with my DD, and she did not give it up fully until she was about 7. Advantages: she went to bed happily. Disadvantages: she'd periodically wake us in the middle of the night to help her find it where it had fallen. She also screamed through Heathrow when she'd dropped it (she was 2) and thought I hadn't picked it up. I realized she was hollering "Go back!" You get through passport control really fast when your kid is that loud. |
Anonymous
| Just poke a small hole in it and every 3 nights or so make it bigger. It will not give the same sensation anymore and you explain it's broken. DD threw it in the trash and didn't look back. |
Anonymous
To this my 2 year old would say "we buy new one at Target!" |
Anonymous
Does he work? Can he drive? 
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Anonymous
New poster here. No and no, but he can scream his head off. What's the point? And the "small hole" trick doesn't work for all kids. OP, unless it's a major issue, you may want to wait until he's closer to three and is more likely to buy into the "fairy" story. |
Anonymous
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We were in a similar situation - our son was a little more than 2 and used the pacifier only for sleeping at night, not for naps at daycare, so we knew he could sleep without it. We talked a little about how he wouldn't have it forever and would have to say goodbye to it eventually. When he talked about really wanting a particular truck, we said that he could trade it for his pacifier/get it when he said goodbye to his pacifier. After we had the truck in the house, we asked him a few times if he wanted to, then one night he told us at bedtime that he didn't want the pacifier and wanted the truck. So he went to sleep without it (took longer than usual) and in the morning, we made a big deal of giving him the truck and he put the pacifier in the box that the truck came in. He asked for it during that first night, around 5 am, but I didn't give it to him because he had made it through the hardest part without it. He asked for it a few more times, either at bedtime or during the night, but we could soothe him without it and didn't want to backslide - a clean break seemed to be the best. After maybe three weeks he didn't mention it at all.
Good luck - I would try not to give it back even though it's tempting. Also, giving him something in exchange might be a nice bonus for him and also might make you feel better about taking the pacifier away (at least it did for me). |
Anonymous
| We did it like you and pulled it during the day, but just sleeping for a few days, then pulled it from naps and then at night. It took about a week. He fussed but it was not as big of a deal as people made it sound like. I wish I did it at 12 months vs. 18 looking back. I did get a few tethers to replace them with as we were still actively teething. After a few weeks, he rejected those. |
Anonymous
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OP here - as it turns out, DS didn't ask for the pacifier during the night last night! He even had one in the corner of his crib, but didn't go looking for it. Maybe it's working... I'm going to continue not offering it at bedtime, but letting him have it if he wakes up.
I get what people are saying about waiting until he can be rational about it, but on the flipside, right now he's pretty agreeable and non-tantrumy (unlike a few months ago, when he discovered the Joy of No), so I think this might be a good window before it becomes a power struggle. If it doesn't work, I will wait until we can talk about it... |