Tell me about your weird co-worker(s)...

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Christmas parties are always good for weirdness.

At one law firm Christmas party, the office manager got drunk removed her prosthetic breast from her bra and chased one of the associates around the bar with it. She was trying to see how he would look with boobs. The associate was extremely germ phobic and freaked out. She finally threw it at him and bounced it off his head.

At another law firm Christmas party, an associate talked his drunk wife into tackling a junior partner whom the associate hated at the dinner table. She did it and the junior partner slammed his head into a wood chair rail on the wall. He need a couple of stitches. Junior Partner eventually left the firm for better opportunities and the associate became a partner.





The boob story is just hilarious. PP, what happened when they faced each other the next morning? Did she apologize?

Anonymous
oh, the foot thing reminds me of another good one!

I posted before about other crazies but I also once had an employee who who would not only clip toenails but take off shoes and socks and pick at his feet, dig the toe jam out between his toes, etc. I asked him to stop doing it or at least use the restroom (he was sitting in the lobby area and people complained about it). He said "but what am I doing wrong, I'm doing it on my break!"
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:oh, the foot thing reminds me of another good one!

I posted before about other crazies but I also once had an employee who who would not only clip toenails but take off shoes and socks and pick at his feet, dig the toe jam out between his toes, etc. I asked him to stop doing it or at least use the restroom (he was sitting in the lobby area and people complained about it). He said "but what am I doing wrong, I'm doing it on my break!"


WTF!!! What did you say?

Use to think it was bad when people clip their nails on the NYC subway during rush hour. OK, any hour. Honestly, were these people raised by cats? From reading these stories, some professions like law should make manners and "appropriate social behavior" classes mandatory.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Christmas parties are always good for weirdness.

At one law firm Christmas party, the office manager got drunk removed her prosthetic breast from her bra and chased one of the associates around the bar with it. She was trying to see how he would look with boobs. The associate was extremely germ phobic and freaked out. She finally threw it at him and bounced it off his head.

At another law firm Christmas party, an associate talked his drunk wife into tackling a junior partner whom the associate hated at the dinner table. She did it and the junior partner slammed his head into a wood chair rail on the wall. He need a couple of stitches. Junior Partner eventually left the firm for better opportunities and the associate became a partner.





The boob story is just hilarious. PP, what happened when they faced each other the next morning? Did she apologize?



Nah. She made a joke about it. He took hell from the other guys in the office.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one who scared me the worst was the boss who would lose her shit over inconsequential things. She was a horrrible micromanager, so she REALLY paid attention to the inconsequential crap. She had a file on all of us where she kept copies of the small errors we had made...I guess so she could fire us and have a paper trail. I started keeping a file of her off-the-handle bullshit "helpful messages" too. Sadly, HR couldn't do anything about her (she was appointed by the politicians we were working for), and even though HR brought us in for interviews, we (her subordinates) weren't protected by HR either. When I went to talk to them about it, they basically said they pitied us in our office and that I was just one in a long line of capable people she had driven out of that office. She was the only one with institutional knowledge, so she got to lord it over us. She was always afraid one of us would want to take her job - so the smartest people were the ones she rode the hardest.


I am 99% sure that I worked for the same person a few years ago.


Me too!!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
How is it that I am unemployed?

Biggest eccentricity: I like colored paper clips. That's it.



Yup, you gotta wonder how the crazy, lazy, asshole, stupid, weirdos have jobs and the good, honest, smart, hardworking folks remain unemployed or underemployed?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
How is it that I am unemployed?

Biggest eccentricity: I like colored paper clips. That's it.


We would make great coworkers - I like colored post-its. Livens things up a bit.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
How is it that I am unemployed?

Biggest eccentricity: I like colored paper clips. That's it.


We would make great coworkers - I like colored post-its. Livens things up a bit.

You gotta try the post-its with shapes. The heart and the flower are my favorites.
Anonymous
I've been on DCUM since its inception and this thread is hand-down THE BEST!
Anonymous
My coworker feels the need to show how incredibly busy she is in her job. So she has a mini-fridge and a microwave and a hot plate in her office, because she cannot possibly leave her office long enough to go to the communal kitchen to prepare her lunch. Often, she cooks broccoli by microwaving it until it's basically burnt. If you have a meeting with her, never schedule for early afternoon. I have been stuck in her office with the overwhelming smell of burnt broccoli.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I've been on DCUM since its inception and this thread is hand-down THE BEST!

I agree! I guess because everyone is trashing outside people, not other posters.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have a coworker who sips water every day. Every sip is followed by a refreshing "AAAH". Every time.


That would drive me to homicide. Seriously. Or at the very least a grave wounding with a well-sharpened #2 pencil.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My coworker feels the need to show how incredibly busy she is in her job. So she has a mini-fridge and a microwave and a hot plate in her office, because she cannot possibly leave her office long enough to go to the communal kitchen to prepare her lunch. Often, she cooks broccoli by microwaving it until it's basically burnt. If you have a meeting with her, never schedule for early afternoon. I have been stuck in her office with the overwhelming smell of burnt broccoli.


Maybe she has agoraphobia.
Anonymous
love this thread.

one co-worker started a side business selling trashy lingerie and sex toys--but would do it during office hours and use office supplies to pack the items, and use office fed ex accounts, etc.

another coworker has pasted tons of pictures from magazines and various paintings (preraphaelite, botticelli, etc) of pale women with long, curly-ish hair all over her office. She is pale with long curly-ish hair.
Anonymous
One co-worker's wife calls him several times a day. Every conversation begins with her sayying "Hi baby" and ends with her saying "I love you" and waiting for him to reluctantly repeat it back. How do I know this? He takes all of these calls on speakerphone.

Another co-worker, an older gentleman, may be the last person in America using AOL. So every afternoon, when he checks his personal e-mail, I hear "You've got mail!"
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