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Why do women who choose not to get an epidural feel they should be congratulated?
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Anonymous
| Honestly, I don't get why it is considered a positive to refuse help for pain management. Not trying to judge this choice, again I just don't understand the passion around it. |
Anonymous
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I didn't get an epidural because I didn't feel pain during childbirth.
But I feel no need for congratulations! |
Anonymous
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Oh lord, not this again. I've never met any woman who felt the need to be "congratulated" about anything surrounding birth.
Is it really that hard to understand why not taking medication that isn't necessary to be a positive? I had an epidural myself, FWIW, |
Anonymous
| The BF vs. FF debate was getting old, so we needed a new Mommy Wars topic to stir up, OP? |
Anonymous
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I didn't have an epidural, and I had my reasons but none of them included wanting a badge of honor. If a conversation comes up about natural child birth I never offer my story without being asked. I'm not smug. I don't look down on any person who chooses epidural or other drugs. We are not all like you describe.
Unless you have at least 5 personal stories to share where you felt that someone made you feel bad about your choice, then this is made up in your head or to stir things up. |
Anonymous
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I've had it both ways and the end result was the same -- I got a baby. I was also congratulated both times. lol
Without the epi, it hurt like hell, but it made pushing easier because pushing eased the pain. With the epi, the contractions were bearable, but I didn't like hanging around the bed during labor. Meh! There are merits and downfalls to both! Seriously, though, I think people look at it as though it were a sport and someone is somehow "better" because they did it without pain medication. But really, everybody labors differently (my sister was one of those who never had real labor pains, too) and should do what they need to do to get through it. |
Anonymous
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No woman who labors without an epi expects to be congratulated by you. You are aggrandizing yourself if you think you are at all part of their plan.
I had my own reasons for going without an epi. My husband was grateful to me for enduring the labor. We were joyful and celebratory. You were not a speck of dust in the room of our joy. |
Anonymous
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With my first, I had an epidural that only numbed half of me. Add pitocin to the mix, and you have one unhappy gal.
Then, they gave me morphine b/c of the pain from tearing and I was stuck in the recovery room until 9 pm. After I finally had enough energy to eat, I wolfed down food and then threw it all up next to my husband. And guess what? I had an epidural with #2, and felt not a damn thing! I am congratulating myself for being done with THAT part of my life! |
Anonymous
My husband was grateful to me for enduring each of me three labors - including the two with lovely, blissful, complication-free epidurals. We were joyful and celebratory. You were not a speck of dust in the room of our (comfortable) joy. |
Anonymous
Yeah, and the difference is, I do not think I was part of your plan. I am not questioning your decision with the claim that you did it to get a medal. |
Anonymous
| OP, do you feel the same way if a woman says she's glad she breastfed, that she wants your congratulations? |
Anonymous
I didn't have epidurals for the usual reasons and I could care less what other people think about it, one way or another. On the other hand I had a terrible time breastfeeding my first and a bad time, though not as horrible, breastfeeding the second and I was forced each time to stop much, much earlier than I would have wanted to. For a long time I felt very envious of women who were just gushing milk and breastfed their kids for as long as they wanted without any problems. Therefore, OP, I think that like my breastfeeding-envy, you have "no-epidural envy". |
Anonymous
| I didn't have an epidural with #1 because when I got to the hospital I was already 9 cm. I was so annoyed but the time went quick. I def never expected to be congratulated and really the reaction I got about that usually was more of shock and horror rather than admiration. |
Anonymous
I skipped the epi twice by choice and shock or horror is the reaction I get too! Rest easy, OP. If by chance someone were looking for congratulations, she doesn't get it from other mothers. |
Anonymous
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epidurals make the baby sluggish. And they put the needle in your spine. That has to be exactly right. Many find that frightening. It slows contractions. Not always a good thing.
I think some want to be congratulated because they had a baby. you think it is because they did not have an epidural. Like when someone says they breastfed for x months, you might also interpret that as them expecting to be congratulated, but that is hardly the intent |