Things you wish you knew…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

[Anonymous]

I think authentic community service matters a lot but is hard to craft. If a kid has something they are passionate about and can figure out a way to turn that into community service, that’s the best EC. My oldest did that sort of naturally due to a teacher that suggested it, and then my kid really ran with it.
My other two just don’t have something they are that passionate about so there isn’t a natural service activity for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

You sound like the person who won the lottery telling people you just need to pick the numbers that feel right to you. It’s great it worked out for you, but you should not feel like this is some pathway to college admissions success.
I know plenty of tiger moms whose kids are raking in the ivies right now. I’m not one of them and my kid did fine but I’m not acting like it was thru the magic of my hands off parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

Maybe someone else asked this- but how would you know where your kid’s peers’ parents went to college!

Wow! You're way off here - DC accepted at MUCH better schools than either of us parents went to.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Visit colleges when school is in session.

Course sequencing matters in high school. Be aware of this in middle school.

Some schools only have on-campus housing for one or two years. Understand the implications of this. This can translate into major pressure to sign a lease/find a future roommate very early in the first semester of your kid's first year.

Costs are more than just tuition/fees/room and board. It is the laptop and everything else.

College is not the brochure. If I was talking directly to the future college student, I would say choose the school that will help you get started on the career path you want now, understanding that could change. It is just preparation for the next step. The best comes after colllege.

Yes, and only buy stocks that are going to rise. Some things are easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tuition/cost at privates would be $90k year. They were around $60k a year when my 18-year old was born.

My neighbors with a newborn don't understand that their alma mater is now $85k/year. My son was admitted and they are all gung-ho and I'm like, you know it costs X?

And they graduated about 15 years ago.

They should probably read the school’s website before they open their mouths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tuition/cost at privates would be $90k year. They were around $60k a year when my 18-year old was born.

My neighbors with a newborn don't understand that their alma mater is now $85k/year. My son was admitted and they are all gung-ho and I'm like, you know it costs X?

And they graduated about 15 years ago.

Seems a bit off that they weren't aware of that. It was likely ~$60K when they attended (if not higher), and tuition was likely going up 3-5+% every year while they were in college.
Continue that trend and you will easily get to 80K+

[Anonymous]

Not sure this is an “I wish I knew”, but my advice is to think very hard before applying to a lot of schools, and think about how hard it would be to get rejected from them. My kid “only” applied to 9 schools and got accepted to 4 — great news! But those 5 rejections have been tough. As your child puts together his list, think about the realistic odds of admission, and how resilient he is likely to be if things don’t go as he hopes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

You sound like the person who won the lottery telling people you just need to pick the numbers that feel right to you. It’s great it worked out for you, but you should not feel like this is some pathway to college admissions success.
I know plenty of tiger moms whose kids are raking in the ivies right now. I’m not one of them and my kid did fine but I’m not acting like it was thru the magic of my hands off parenting.

Agree with this response. We followed the “let the kids be themselves”, and he did incredibly well in school, on SATs and AP/IB tests with no prep, no counselors, pursued activities he loved with commitment and devotion, and has a tough March. College admissions are a cruel business. If that wasn’t your experience, know that you are, first and foremost, lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

You sound like the person who won the lottery telling people you just need to pick the numbers that feel right to you. It’s great it worked out for you, but you should not feel like this is some pathway to college admissions success.
I know plenty of tiger moms whose kids are raking in the ivies right now. I’m not one of them and my kid did fine but I’m not acting like it was thru the magic of my hands off parenting.

And there are even more tiger moms whose kids aren’t doing well in admissions.
The point is why push when it guarantees you nothing. Let your kid be themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any safe advice for early high schoolers? Things you wish your child knew? Things you wish you knew? Activities? Resources? All of it?

Learn your DC’s college matches early and often. Do not tell ANYONE where your DC is applying. Learn “the game” for your top match and play that game HARD. You’re welcome.

"the game"? what does that mean?

This confused me too, I have no idea what this means

The whole college admissions process is a sick twisted game with a secret set of rules - and our kids are the losers for it….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

You sound like the person who won the lottery telling people you just need to pick the numbers that feel right to you. It’s great it worked out for you, but you should not feel like this is some pathway to college admissions success.
I know plenty of tiger moms whose kids are raking in the ivies right now. I’m not one of them and my kid did fine but I’m not acting like it was thru the magic of my hands off parenting.

And there are even more tiger moms whose kids aren’t doing well in admissions.
The point is why push when it guarantees you nothing. Let your kid be themselves.

DP here. There is a balance. Your kid can do everything “right” and still not get into a T20 school. However, at same time the road can be that much harder to get into your top public college whether that’s UVA, Willam and Mary, VA Tech if your kid isn’t at a certain level with grades, activities, rigor of coursework etc. You also have to consider finances and if they need certain grades/test scores to be eligible for merit or to have a shot at the type of college with generous financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

Wow this so smug, it’s gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:start crafting ur child’s narrative in middle school - after that it’s too late to appear authentic -

BS. Both got in UVA in state plus multiple T25/top LACs and that is not needed.

Let the kids be themselves, take the classes they want to take. Students who will really soar at T10s will take the top classes and be in the top whatever % in their HS without parents pushing. Usually these are the same kids that are already 98-99%ile on standardized tests at baseline, since they were younger (CTP, Cal Achievements, etc)

100%

My son did not have any clue where he wanted to go as a sophomore. He's a smart kid that just focused on high school, his sport, community service, a club from Freshmen year that a teacher urged him to join and he ended up loving, and a summer job one summer.

I made a point to try to not exude any stress or pressure or even talk colleges. He's a kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself anyways.

Everything he did, he did because he wanted to do it without any care how it would play to a college (or if it even would). He had time for friends.

He's having one helluva run this cycle. 1 WL (at a school that was a safety and he didn't really like) and 8 acceptances (5% SLACS, T10s, etc.). No rejections. I'm sure that will end with Ivies tonight--or he'll keep running the sh*t out of this. lol

We tuned everyone else out. We did not hire a private college counselor and we even did not apply to any of the suggested colleges by the HS counselor and applied to mostly reaches and a target or two.

Personally, I think all these people hiring private college counselors and tiger momming the sh*t out of it since middle school end up with kids that sound like every other kid.

Looking back, if we had listened to the HS counselor he would not be in any T20, let alone T10 school.

Wow this so smug, it’s gross.

+1

Curious to hear how Ivy night went for this fam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure this is an “I wish I knew”, but my advice is to think very hard before applying to a lot of schools, and think about how hard it would be to get rejected from them. My kid “only” applied to 9 schools and got accepted to 4 — great news! But those 5 rejections have been tough. As your child puts together his list, think about the realistic odds of admission, and how resilient he is likely to be if things don’t go as he hopes.

Or having too any options.

Mine applied to 16. Got in 12. Waitlisted 4.

It’s stressful late March figuring out what to eliminate, what to visit, etc