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Angry Doesn't Begin to Describe My Anger Right Now
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Anonymous
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A relative passed away and left us a small amount of cash. I wanted to either talk to our financial planner about it or just drop it into a CD then pull it when we needed it (we're looking at new homes). What does my very stupid husband do? Oh, he has a friend! His friend invests! So he sets up an account and gives his friend access to invest the money, not to take any cash out, just to invest. The friend makes his living investing! He'll make loads of money for us! I tell my husband how uncomfortable I am with this, he apparently had ear wax in his ears, because what does he do? WHAT DOES HE DO?
He sets the account up and lets the friend invest. Day trading or something. Friend loses the majority of the money. I AM LIVID. We are not talking a million dollars but we're talking more than 100k. I am furious. FURIOUS. Like throw my laptop at his head and tear his scrotum off kind of furious. Please walk me through this. |
Anonymous
| You get a big fat "I told you so..." As in, "Dear husband, haven't you ever heard not to mix friends and money." You get a couple of gimmes but other than that you need to take a deep breath and relax. It was money that you would have never had, and you still have a bit left. Entitlement and greed are a bitter pill to swallow, relax. |
Anonymous
| Tell hubby to tell the friend that you want him to invest his money with you. Then tell the friend that you lost the majority of the money. All even after that. |
Anonymous
I'm not entitled or greedy about it. I'm sad he didn't invest it for our children, I'm angry talk to the financial advisor, or I'm livid he wasn't responsible. Although we are looking at a new home we were doing so before we came upon this money so it wouldn't have made any difference in the purchase, we've been saving for several years for our down payment. We've worked hard for what we have and we are not anywhere close to wealthy. It actually is a huge deal he lost this money, it's not really "oh well, we didn't have it before". It's not about "things" or not having 100k in the bank, it's about the utter stupidity. About his lack of responsibility and concern for his family, his three children. This wasn't monopoly money. We're not playing Texas Holdem' - he's messing with our lives and I am LIVID. |
Anonymous
| Well, I'd be extremely livid too. Not just the loss of money, but if DH did something with finances on a major level without consulting me, or worse, ignoring my objections. I am sorry, don't really have any advice to offer. If "friend" were a better investor,perhaps he could offer to repay some of the lost money. Is he a professional? Or just some guy with a home office who thinks that he too can run a hedge fund? |
Anonymous
I know his friend sits in a basement and invests all evening, not even an office. Just the basement room of his house and several large computer screens. Other than that I have no idea what his credentials are. The friend seems to support himself with his own investing and profits, and that is fine and dandy. He can do what he wants with his money. |
Anonymous
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OP, my dad lost EVERYTHING we had also "investing on a fried". I mean EVERYTHING! I remember creditors taking the appliances in our home to pay for the debts.
Be glad your DH didn't go this far and hope that he learned his lesson. |
Anonymous
Oh, I am so sorry. That certainly is perspective. Thank you. I hope everything turned out well for your father and your family. |
Anonymous
I would let go and just think differently. I have always thought that things like inheritances, trust funds that you gain access to when you turn 50, etc, etc SHOULD be considered Monopoly money, then it WON'T mess with your lives. I'm sorry that you lost money that could have gone to other uses but I would recommend mentally reverting back to when you never had the money, there is nothing that you can do about it now. Take whats left split it 3 ways and put it in 529s for the kids. |
Anonymous
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You should make sure that the "friend" explains investment strategy, trades, and where things went south. Was he leveraged? how did he lose 100k so fast? I'd be curious to see if he has trade records, etc. Did your husband sign anything?
fwiw, my ex attempted to start an investment fund, thought he knew a lot, and at times made some money but I always felt that he was an amateur playing at a pro's game. He had convinced relatives and acquaintances to invest, left his job, started his own LLC, and did this full time for about 2 years, although he never really got off the ground in a major way. He wanted my mom to invest, but she wisely held off. We broke up and I later heard that he decided to try to get into currency trading and lost all the money that he was managing (around 1 to 2 mill) in about 12 hours--something about the automatic platforms he was using, the way it was leveraged, and that some safety trigger that should have been in place to stop all trading after a certain amount of loss didn't go through as it was supposed to. It also wiped him out financially and he's now a 40 something guy living with his mom. anyway I'm sorry. It's easy to be philosophical about 100k when it's not your lost money, or your husband's irresponsibility at stake. I'd be absolutely livid--100k is a good addition to 3 college educations. |
Anonymous
I'm not the poster who keeps saying "your kid has a cold? stop complaining there are kids with cancer" but I felt the need to share this also for you to share it with him. It was a dumb decision and thanks heaven the money was a gift. I truly hope your DH has learned his lesson. My parents are still recovering from the loss. When I turned 21 my brother turned 18 and they gave each of us a house for our birthdays that year so we were kind of shielded from what happened but it was very traumatizing (I have some hoarding problems and my brother is very greedy and mean when it comes to $). We faced some rough times to the point we were struggling to pay for electricity and buy food for a few months. Our church was very supportive and if it was not for them I don't know where we would be by now. Wishing you all the best! |
Anonymous
| easy come, easy go |
Anonymous
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OP, you should find out if you have a legal cause of action against this guy. You may or may not, but if he did something fraudulent, for example, you may want to go after him. I'm a lawyer, but this is NOT my practice area, but just Googling the topic you'll see things like this:
http://www.stockmarketlosslawyer.com/the-process/causes-of-action/ I don't believe in being litigious for the hell of it, but if he misrepresented things or lied to you, that is not right. |
Anonymous
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I would separate my funds from DH. What does he say now?
I would seriously need to think through continuing with the marriage if there are other problems. I wuold feel like I couldn't trust him. That is a tidy sum, why did it have to be "invested"? Does he do "magic" thinking with other money or is he otherwise gullible and easily manipulated by schemers? I'd also look into a legal couse of action. |
Anonymous
| Marriage counseling. To me this is a basic trust issue. If you and he disagreed about this and he went and did it anyway, that's a red flag. It says there's a basic lack of teamplay here and bad faith dealing on his part. I might excuse it if say, he took 5 grand out of the 100 grand because he couldn't resist doing it, had an impulse or felt he owed it to his friend. But that he went ahead and invested everything knowing that you were refusing? To me that would be a sign that there is something fundamentally amiss. I'm sorry, OP. I would be angry too. |