Any parents out there who are CHOOSING not to send their kids to private schools? Why ...??

[Anonymous]

Many thanks to 11:20, 9:27, 9:42, and 22:05. Collectively you've given me much needed perspective to get through silly season. Thank you all for being honest!

OP - I'm gobsmacked that you got any education at all in a "developing country". Just kidding of course. It's been years since I've heard someone say "gobsmacked" who didn't go to a public - ie private - school in the UK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty soon, it's like buying something on EBAY -- one no longer cares whether you get a good price, damn-it, you want to win the auction!!! quote]

LMAO. I know myself. This is why I can't go to auctions (read I have a chair that goes with nothing that a I keep a throw over so it won't stand out that much) or go on Ebay (I still have the wedding dress that I "won" that looked horrible and wasn't really a deal) or live in D.C. and deal with the private school craziness. I'm in Maryland I am stressed out enough with preschool and there it is more my lack of knowing when I needed to go to the open house, apply, do research, be on waitlist etc., rather than the 400 kids competing for 40 spots. But I could see myself getting caught up all too well.

[Anonymous]

The house purchase and the school decision are really the same one for the affluent. We can move to the schools we like, and buy a house small enough so that the money for private school is available. Anyone forking over $23k who says "we can't afford to move" needs to look up what "can't afford" means.

When we were looking in Upper NW and the close-in, we decided we were uncomfortable with the private school scene (a wise choice, if the parents posting here are representative) and with being so exposed if our financial situation soured. We also really liked the down-town lifestyle, so it was hard. Eventually we bought someplace right on the metro in the burbs. Not as charming as Upper NW, but pretty nice. Kid goes to public school, but if the child stops thriving, we can afford the appropriate school for him.

I hope that answers it. Your kids really don't have to go to the greatest school money can buy, and there's no such thing as that school, anyway.

[Anonymous]

"Anyone forking over $23k who says "we can't afford to move" needs to look up what "can't afford" means."

For us it means that we can not give up our very small mortgage, get a second car, add in commute time and many other sacrifices to move to an area where *maybe* the public schools will suffice for awhile, until we are in the same stretched and stressed position but with many more expenses.

Just because you could afford that, don't make assumptions about other people.

[Anonymous]

The public schools aren't "bad" in this area (although DC public schools do have their issues, but VA and MD are fine) and since we are paying taxes to fund them why not send the kids there?

I would rather spend our $ on a good college or university than a private (especially elementary) school.

[Anonymous]

Doing well at a good college is more likely if your DC has been well prepared and challenged in high school. And getting admitted to a good college is somewhat easier if DC went to a good high school and did well. But doing well in a good high school is more likely if DC has been well prepared and challenged in middle school. And getting admitted to a good high school is somewhat easier if DC went to a good middle school. I'm sure you can see where this is all backing down to -- a good preschool! Waiting to invest money in a good college is one strategy, but some of us don't want to wait until then for the above reasons. If I only thought I would have enough money to invest in either early private education, high school, or college, I would put my money on the early years. Those are the foundational years where a child's feelings about school and learning are firmly formed, plus the critical social and reading skills are established. A well prepared child with good study skills and attitude can then pursue high school and college with great success, even outside of private schools. But I prefer private all the way if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doing well at a good college is more likely if your DC has been well prepared and challenged in high school. And getting admitted to a good college is somewhat easier if DC went to a good high school and did well. But doing well in a good high school is more likely if DC has been well prepared and challenged in middle school. And getting admitted to a good high school is somewhat easier if DC went to a good middle school. I'm sure you can see where this is all backing down to -- a good preschool! Waiting to invest money in a good college is one strategy, but some of us don't want to wait until then for the above reasons. If I only thought I would have enough money to invest in either early private education, high school, or college, I would put my money on the early years. Those are the foundational years where a child's feelings about school and learning are firmly formed, plus the critical social and reading skills are established. A well prepared child with good study skills and attitude can then pursue high school and college with great success, even outside of private schools. But I prefer private all the way if possible.

A different perspective that is appreciated and makes a lot of sense. Thank - you PP

[Anonymous]

We live in Arlington for this exact reason -- excellent schools, with a variety of choices at both the elementary and high school levels. No worries that DS will somehow not be prepared for a great college.

[Anonymous]

And we live in Chevy Chase MD for exactly this reason - when we bought our house, we wanted to make sure that our kids went to great schools and thought that all the schools serving the particular area that we live in were excellent schools (to be clear, public schools). Now, we might very well choose to send our children to private schools in either middle school or high school (or we might continue to send them to public school - it just depends on their personalities and their abilities at the time), but I don't believe they will be disadvantaged by going to a public elementary school! And I don't believe for one moment that their chances of getting into Harvard or Yale or any other Ivy League college (if they wanted to attend said college) would be jeopardized in any major way if they attended, for example, Whitman or BCC as opposed to Sidwell or St Albans ... My view is that if we send them to a private school, it will be to a private school that is consistent with our values and that will be good for them, given their abilities and personalities at the time of the choice. It's no use sending them to School X, if you know that School X does not have a teaching style that accords with your child's personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And we live in Chevy Chase MD for exactly this reason - when we bought our house, we wanted to make sure that our kids went to great schools and thought that all the schools serving the particular area that we live in were excellent schools (to be clear, public schools). Now, we might very well choose to send our children to private schools in either middle school or high school (or we might continue to send them to public school - it just depends on their personalities and their abilities at the time), but I don't believe they will be disadvantaged by going to a public elementary school! And I don't believe for one moment that their chances of getting into Harvard or Yale or any other Ivy League college (if they wanted to attend said college) would be jeopardized in any major way if they attended, for example, Whitman or BCC as opposed to Sidwell or St Albans ... My view is that if we send them to a private school, it will be to a private school that is consistent with our values and that will be good for them, given their abilities and personalities at the time of the choice. It's no use sending them to School X, if you know that School X does not have a teaching style that accords with your child's personality.

The interesting thing is that my child in a private school probably experiences more racial/ethnic and socioeconomic diversity than yours does in a public school in Chevy Chase.

[Anonymous]

A bit of a non sequitur, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bit of a non sequitur, no?

14:20 here. Absolutely a non sequitur, pointing out an irony. Many of us say we want public schools for the diversity, but the best public schools are very non-diverse. So we are in a forced-choice kind of situation. We ended up going with a more diverse neighborhood and private school. But maybe the less diverse neighborhood and public school is a better choice. I wasn't criticizing the PP at all, just trying to point out the irony and share my frustration with it.

[Anonymous]

I thought I'd share a story. My sons' friends father went to the same private school he goes to. (my son is 4). He said he went to the private school upto grade 8th. his GPA was 3.9 when he transferred. the class was small. when he transferred to the public school system (don't know the reasons) his GPA dropped to 2.9. I was curious because I thought he would have a good solid base and should have had no trouble. this is what he said. he said the class was big. many kids used to miss classes and so did he. he didn't feel like studying because he was way ahead of the class and so eventually his GPA dropped. So he has decided to keep his son in the private school till the end.
I agree with many on other posts too that a solid base is important. I think a private school upto grade 2 or 3 is great. but if a child goes to private school beyond that it is tougher for them to switch to a public school system.
On the other hand many of our colleagues who are physicians and surgeons, infact 90%, went through the public school system, went to great colleges and medical school. I think every parent needs to make individual decisions. Some children do better in smaller more focused classes and others can go through a public school system and still do really well. I was like that, but my sister did so much better in a private school than she did in a public school (in a developing country). Not boasting just emphasizing that we all know our children and I am going through the same struggle. I want my son to be in a private school because I think he needs closer attention, my husband likes the public school sector (mainly for financial reasons), so I will give it a try for a year, but if it doesn't work out, he's going to be back in a private school. I want him to get the chances he deserves.

[Anonymous]

Back to the thread, are there any people who sent their children to private school and actually pulled them out to attend public school? If so, why?

[Anonymous]

I don't think there are many. The people who say they are "choosing" public school (which indeed they are by not applying to private school) don't have a full information set. I know a ton of parents who chose to yank their kids out of public school to get them into private, but never the other way around.