Postnuptial Agreement - Would you sign?

[Anonymous]

Why does he want it? What did he say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His lawyer is gonna tell him "cheaper to keep her so you better stay on her good side, sucka".

Exactly. This. OP, do not fret. He can't force you to sign it, and unless you have a signed prenup, what's his is yours for anything that is entered into during the marriage (unless it's inheritance, which you say isn't the case here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't but that's because I have been the primary breadwinner in our family since we got married. So if all of a sudden DH came into money and decided at that point is when we should divide assets (when he's been perfectly happy to let me pay the bills to date and treats the money I earn as ours) I'd tell him to stuff it. TBH it would really taint my view of him.

This.

Though I got burned this way very badly in my first marriage.

We didn't have a prenup, but I would want any significant family money my DH inherits to go to my stepson. He feels the same in case of me and my DD.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks all. i didn't say too much about it bc I was shocked and hurt. But I think he suggested it so we would all be on the same page about how any money is spent, where it goes, etc. I see it as a weird control/leverage thing.

My issue is that we have managed to figure out how to make our finances work for 15 years without any kind of formal contract, so why now....? I am somewhat suspicious.

He says there is no one else.

[Anonymous]

What the actual fuck. Maybe if it was family money or something that grandparents wanted to be sure go to the children.

But a business deal that is happening right now? I would try to remain calm, not angry, and tell him how incredibly hurtful it is that he's thinking of cutting your out of this. If you got a huge bonus at work, how would he feel if you made him sign something saying he had no rights to it?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, agreed. Money changes people, no matter how much you love them. This is what I am afraid of. Different colors start to show. And yes, this is a business deal that has been in the works for several years now, but is finally coming together. No mention of a postnup during the rest of the time. Just now when the end is in sight.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry. What an a$$hole. I think you need to talk to a financial advisor ASAP, so you can get the full picture about what is going on here. How much. Timing, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP again - I actually am feeling pretty gutted right now. Like who is this person?

[Anonymous]

If I was OP and DH insisted, I would bring it to a lawyer and have them review. At the very minimum require DH to pay for his children's education regardless if you split now that he has the resources.

[Anonymous]

I would remain calm and wait to see what it says. Once you see that you may be able to tell a bit more. But also, if this is headed downhill it won't matter if he comes into the money while still married. So stay that way until the money comes in.

[Anonymous]

Do you have siblings who require support that you might enable? Other family members?

This is the only reason I could think of cutting my DH legally out of money that I make. Mainly, his sister is a drama llama who spends any saved money on immediate gratification and doesn't have a savings account. I would not want a dime to go to support her poor choices.

If my DH and I were very wealthy (we are not) I'd have a hard time making the argument that it's taking money from our children (which now it would).

So is he worried about your family of origin?

[Anonymous]

All he said was "maybe we should get a post-nup"? Or did he say what he was specifically trying to hedge against?

Do you have any other problems/control issues in your marriage? Any fighting? Any cheating? Are you a blended family?

If this happened in my marriage, i would assume it was to separate and protect our marital assets from the family business. What is going on that makes you think he is trying to screw you over?

I would ask him what he is trying to accomplish, and I would get my own attorney to review the agreement before I signed.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all. Right now i am not signing a darn thing. As of now, there is no postnup, but he did raise it, quite seriously. I just feel like my world shifted in way I am not comfortable with. I really do appreciate any thoughts, comments, and advice. Again, this may or may not happen...but the fact that he went there, after everything we have been through, and after I have been a contributing member to our family (a professional career, equal partner, etc.), is so troubling. I was trying to gauge what others thing, especially anyone who might have experience in this area financially or legally.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Well all he needs to do is keep it in a separate account with just his name on it and you can't touch it.
No I would not sign a post nup after 15 years, and I'd be pissed.

[Anonymous]

I would not spend my precious time to listen to his "explanations." I would save my precious time and energy just telling him to have the papers ready for my attorney to review them AND he will need to prepare to pay for all my legal expenses regardless whether I sign the agreement.