Help me overcome my prejudice against home schooling

[Anonymous]

I think there are a lot of benefits such as - not having to do a lot of administrative stuff like attendance, and not having transitions from class to class, teaching at a more individualized pace, etc. I really considered it myself, but my girls are just so social, and I have to work, so it wouldn't really work for us.

[Anonymous]

I taught a number of homeschooled students (they came to my HS after ONLY being at home) and while many came into the school a little, ummm, off, most of the students did fine, made great friends, and happened to go to the best colleges in America. Without doubt, they were my brightest students! And as adults, they are doing well.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. It seems that many are home schooled in the early years and attend high school, so that would give them the opportunity to get into college. I was thinking really of the ones that are home schooled all the way through school and how they even get access to college. My relative's example was not in this country so perhaps it is easier for kids outside of the school system to enter college here in the US? Interesting list of home schoolers but, as a PP noted, most were from days before comprehensive public schooling.

[Anonymous]

Okay...I'll jump into this discussion. I'm a 33 year old former homeschooled student...my sister and I were homeschooled during the late 1980's and early 1990's. We both graduated from our 'homeschool', 6th through 12th for her (1992) and 4th through 12th for me (1994). Both of us went on to colleges (selected based on which one gave us the most scholarship money and had the best programs for our chosen majors) and graduated college with a 4.0 in all subjects except for Math. I had a C in College Alegbra and so did my sister. What does that tell you?-- my teachers...my parents...STINK in math and now my sister and I do too! By choosing majors that did not require any math beyond the basics, we graduated with high GPA's and went on to have strong successful careers.

Socially I don't think anyone meeting us would be able to tell we're former homeschoolers, although I confess I didn't tell any of my friends in college that I was homeschooled until I was sure they knew me well-enough to combat that very ugly 'homeschool freak' stereotype! Yes, I've met many of those socially awkward kids too and it's just painful to be lumped into that group when you're an already insecure teen!

Now, I chose to be a History teacher so I've come across many former homeschoolers transitioning into middle/high school. Yes, there are some who have a painful time of adjustment...getting used to raising their hands, waiting for others to finish their work, not immediately jumping up to walk around the room, etc. Usually, cues from the other students help guide these kids into 'appropriate' classroom behavior...and I usually make it a point now to identify myself as a former homeschooler too so at least they know there's a teacher who understands where they're coming from. Academically, there's not usually a problem if they have been on an actual planned curriculum. Where they run into trouble is if their parents did the 'pick and choose' method of, for example, only studying history and literature because "Junior doesn't like Math." Ummm...that's not an education, ma'm. That's a life of enrichment.

Today there are many options to overcome the sort of 'inherited' weaknesses that my sister and I picked up in the area of Math. There are teaching services designed for homeschooling families, or even online schools in which much of the learning is done via the internet. There are options that simply were not available for me and my sister back in the pioneering days of the homeschooling movement.

Now, with that said, I'm still not sure if I'd be willing to take advantage of these programs and homeschool my own daughter. Knowing the psychological enmeshment that happened in my family (not enough healthy boundaries in our lives because 'we' overlapped in every area and thus seemed to have no sole area of proprietorship in life until college) and the time it's taken me to dig out of these patterns has me hesitant to even consider homeschooling my own children. But, I do recognize that academically and socially, we were not harmed in the slightest and were probably stronger as a result of our individualized education.

I hope that answers some of your questions, OP. I'll check in again so if you have further questions, please ask. For now, I'm off to enjoy a summer nap with a good book (No, it won't be math-related!)!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, PP, for taking the time to write about your experiences. It made me laugh a little because I used to be a math teacher! I can see now that the one and only example I know of was nothing like your experience. The parents were not college educated and believed in following their son's interests which meant playing guitar, cartoon drawing and learning Japanese on-line or something. I can see now that it might work if the parents know what they are doing. It's fascinating that you have become a teacher!

[Anonymous]

I did it where we used to live (Richmond). The school district and the school itself sucked for a variety of reasons.

I jumped through the hoops to complain, wrote letters, made suggestions, but to no avail...except I did succeed to get dirty looks from the teachers and admin. folks.

So, for us, it was more of the children being bored at school. There was no challenge, no stimulation, and no incentive to learn.

So, OP, just because homeschooling doesn't seem a good choice for you doesn't mean it's a bad decision for others.

I could go on an on about the pros/cons of homeschooling.
What do you want to know? No, my kids aren't overly gifted (smart, yes, but not prodigies), they have lots of friends, are social, play on sports teams, we go on field trips, etc.

Plus, you can buddy up with other families for homeschooling - Eng. Lit is not my favorite so we go to a friend's house where that mom teaches that subject.

There are homeschooling conferences, lesson plans, how to write a letter to the Commonwealth stating you're homeschooling, discounts in Williamsburg/museums, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What do you want to know?

I was just looking to find out information about the long-term outcomes (after 18 years old) - whether options for studying and careers are still open to them, etc.

[Anonymous]

The valedictorian in my graduating college class was home-schooled all the way through high school. Last I heard, he was doing well, had a job in his field, etc. I also have a cousin who was home-schooled from early elementary through high school, went to a state university, and is now enrolled at a fairly good law school. I myself was home-schooled for a couple of years in middle school (but returned to public school for high school) and have a Master's degree and am working on a PhD. It is my understanding that many parents home-schooling high schoolers "outsource" subjects like math and science to trained teachers and/or put their kids in joint-enrollment at a community college for at least some classes in grades 11 & 12. However, I do know of home-schooling families that do not appear to be giving their kids a high-quality education/an education that would prepare them for college and "the world." As others have pointed out, this can sometimes be the case when people use home-schooling as a way of sheltering their children rather than as a means of giving them the best possible education.

[Anonymous]

My younger sister and brother were homeschooled in Boca Raton, FL and they are now 20 and 22 yo. It was not for religous reasons, but the public elementary schools were not the best and private school tuition was out of reach. At least in FL there is a homeschooling society with many resources and an annual convention. You can research and purchase from different curriculums.

In their case, Boca Raton has a community of homeschoolers that work together on outings and subjects that parents are not comfortable with as the kids get older. For example, a retired science teacher did science experiments for a group of kids each year. My mom taught most of the science lessons, but they would all pay this person a little money to purchase materials and he would do "lab" work with them once a week or so.

According to my mom, studies showed the actual amount of time a child in school spend on doing classwork is very short (maybe 4 or 5 hours) compared the time in school so they would complete their lessons in that timeframe and then be off to museums, parks, etc. She felt they were learning more life lessons earlier than I did (banking, grocery shopping, etc). She could take more time to explain things as they did them.

As soon as the neighborhood kids came home from school they all went outside and played together. Both still have good friends from the neighborhood.

As far as colleges, most colleges recognize homeschooling as a good things. At least that was my siblings experiences. Most admissions offices told them they had good experience in the past with homeschoolers adjusting to the college studies because they were more used to the style of learning on their own a little more than the way we are taught in traditional schools.

My sister is currently pre-med with straight A's with many friends. My brother is in IT and has a close network of friends. I think they both turned out wonderful.

Now if I have grammatical or spelling errors don't blame my parents because I am a product of the FL public school education system I guess I turned out okay though...I am an engineer with a masters degree and have 2 beautiful children and a wonderful husband.

I think either way of educating DC can be good if the parents are involved and have the right intentions.

[Anonymous]

I have some mixed feelings about homeschooling, but I know two homeschooled kids very well -- one is a 7-year-old family friend and one is a 17-year-old babysitter we use. The 7-year-old is a great kid -- they keep busy and have lots of get-togethers with friends her age, and she's well-adjusted, smart, and creative. The 17-year-old is a fantastic babysitter -- sweet, smart, affectionate, and creative -- and incredibly mature for her age. She has lots of friends her age and is also close to her family in a way that's lovely to see in a 17-year-old. She just left for a year abroad, actually, before college, and I'm stricken that we can't hire her anymore -- my DC loves her!

So I would definitely not use the one example of your relative to make you think that homeschooled kids all turn out badly or something. There are two counter-examples!

[Anonymous]

I'm a former high school foreign language teacher. One of my colleagues with small children said she planned to homeschool them for middle school. In her experience, middles schools were often the weak link in any school district. (I have to agree.) Also, because kids at that age develop at such different rates-- and because 6th graders are so different in maturation than, say, 8th or 9th graders, she thought this was the only age where a little "sheltering" might be useful.

The more I've thought about her ideas, the more insightful I think she is.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but I don't want to shelter my children from everything, including middle school.

Middle school builds character. If my child was having a particularly bad time for whatever reason of course I would rethink, but the average child will tough it out, grow, and come out a stronger, more mature adolescent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the only real benefit of public schools is the social aspect. .

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I don't want to shelter my children from everything, including middle school..

Snort. What is so special about "socializing" for 6 hours a day in one building with 30 kids who happen to share your same birth year and zip code?

Some of the misconceptions about homeschooling in this thread are pretty amazing. Have you ever heard of the Internet? There are amazing resources resources available these days, not to mention online classes right through high school. Many homeschoolers take community college courses in the upper grade levels. And as other posters have alluded to, homeschooling would be better called not-at-home schooling. Homeschooled kids are in the community, interacting, volunteering, you name it.

[Anonymous]

http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2009/08/03/090803ta_talk_mead

[Anonymous]

One of my college classmates, who is African-American, pulled her sons from a private school in a Midwestern city where they were the only AA boys. She and her husband made this choice after several incidents of racism on the part of teachers, kids and other parents. They live near a university and were able to recruit grad students (including at least couple of young AA men) to teach subjects which they didn't feel competent to teach themselves. Because their sons were in high school, they continued their friendships with school friends and neighborhood kids, as well as their sports and musical activities outside of school. Both went on to Ivy League schools. Sadly-- but not unexpectedly, as recent events have demonstrated -- both experienced racism at these schools. My classmate and her husband feel, however, that their sons were better able to cope with these experiences as they were older, more mature and had benefited from having the grad student/tutors as role models.