Coworker complaining about commute

[Anonymous]

Hey, at least she's being honest, unlike the guy I know whose commute from Richmond to DC by car takes "35 minutes, tops."

[Anonymous]

Come mute!
Mute your negative comments!
Come to work mute!
Just a word game ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Come mute!
Mute your negative comments!
Come to work mute!
Just a word game ?

HAha!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like typical work small talk. Is it just the commute s/he hates, the job location or the job itself?

If changing the subject doesn't work and you've given up all other means of persuasion, how about the direct approach? as in: "Coworker, I like talking to you, but do you have to be so negative when you talk about your commute. Have you tried car pool or Ride Share? You sound miserable..."

Here are some ride share links for dc area:
http://www.arlingtontransportationpartners.com/pages/blog/split-a-new-rideshare-service-in-dc/
http://www.commuterpage.com/pages/transportation-options/ridesharing/

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain op. My complainer is my husband. My job is near Baltimore and his is near Dulles. I have the stable fed job and there's no way I'm moving to Va to drive 2hrs. I have to allow him quiet alone time so he can cool off from being in horrible traffic. He's moved around to different jobs (contracts related). I suggest you avoid chatting with her until lunchtime.

[Anonymous]

Why are you having such a strong reaction to this? Politely but dismissively acknowledge and move the conversation to something work related: "yes, that sounds difficult, anyway, on another note, have you reviewed those reports?"

Not OP, but have dealt with the same issue. As someone who made a conscious choice to pay a premium to live near the metro, in a modest dwelling, I really have no interest in hearing from other people how horrid their commute is. Move, or deal with it quietly.

Good grief. I have a short commute myself, so nothing to complain about, but you do not get to dictate what other people say. You can indicate your disinterest appropriately and they'll do what they do based on that.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are looking for another job because of this woman talking about her commute? Or for another reason?

[Anonymous]

Misery loves company.

She is so annoyed by traffic bc it still resonates with her and it's still fresh in her mind as she comes into work.

Is she ever late? Maybe she's trying g to justify her tardiness.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like this. May be your coworker! Every single day she complains about her horrible commute, the weather, the vacationers on I-95, the idiot who caused an accident. But she also complains about everything else in her life. Nothing ever works out for her, everything sucks. She is the most negative person I have ever met and I think she has major unresolved issues. Your coworker is probably a total pessimist who is miserable about every aspect of her life, not just her commute. Maybe you should be the perfect optimist- when she complains, tell her how jealous you are that she got to spend so much alone time during the drive in or find a silver lining in everything she says. She may leave you alone after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are looking for another job because of this woman talking about her commute? Or for another reason?

It's a whole snowball of reasons, but yes this is a major factor. I only have one coworker that I work with and it's her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, at least she's being honest, unlike the guy I know whose commute from Richmond to DC by car takes "35 minutes, tops."

NP here. LOL. So true! I don't know why people have to lie. I think it's because they need to lie to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that you understand her commute is rough, but there is nothing you can do about it. You can't magically wave a wand to make it better or buy her a house closer.

Tell her, "Larla, I understand your commute is rough. I'm sorry. But it isn't something that is within my control. And, frankly, constantly hearing about it is affecting my productivity. You are here now, so let's focus on work."

And then whenever she starts to talk about the commute, politely excuse yourself, "I have to get back to work" or "I have to use the restroom" or whatever.

If it still continues, tell her that if it is making her that miserable, then she should either move, change jobs, or seek counseling.

And then if none of that works -- if you've been clear with her that you can't take the complaining -- then tell her that at this point, her constant complaining is affecting your work. Give it a week. If she doesn't stop, complain to a manager.

This way, you are being clear with her, giving her a chance to stop, letting her know that you understand but it isn't a problem you can solve, letting her know that it is affecting your work (that you feel like you need to complain every day about her complaining about her commute). You have to clearly articulate that her actions are making you miserable. And then you give her a chance to improve (at least a week). And then at that point, you go to the supervisor.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are looking for another job because of this woman talking about her commute? Or for another reason?

It's a whole snowball of reasons, but yes this is a major factor. I only have one coworker that I work with and it's her.

So it sound like the real issue may be that you need a job where you interact with more people vs. this woman's complaints about her commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are looking for another job because of this woman talking about her commute? Or for another reason?

It's a whole snowball of reasons, but yes this is a major factor. I only have one coworker that I work with and it's her.

OP this woman would annoy me too, but it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to learn to handle this a bit better without letting it get to you so much. Annoying people are everywhere unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are looking for another job because of this woman talking about her commute? Or for another reason?

It's a whole snowball of reasons, but yes this is a major factor. I only have one coworker that I work with and it's her.

OP this woman would annoy me too, but it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to learn to handle this a bit better without letting it get to you so much. Annoying people are everywhere unfortunately.

So true. I have an employee who complains about his commute quite frequently. Not my fault that he chose to live 40 miles from downtown DC. I told him that I really don't care.