Litigation lawyers - advice on not being stressed out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a litigator, you will probably spend a good deal of your life being stressed out. It's just the way it is. The best thing I can say is to never ever ever fall behind on your work. As soon as you get a case, develop and plan and diary it and don't extend your time to get things done. And, yes, after more than a decade of litigating, I still get nervous in court. How can you not? You always have to be on your a-game. It's a one shot deal and if you blow it, your client doesn't get a second chance. It's like your final exam being the only that that counts in your grade.

After 23 years of being a litigator, all I can say is that the stress never ends. The only way to end it, is to get out. If you are going to do that, do it as early in your career as possible. From experience I can relate that trying to do it later is very hard, as you will be marked as a litigator and that's the only thing any firm will be interested in regards to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a litigator, you will probably spend a good deal of your life being stressed out. It's just the way it is. The best thing I can say is to never ever ever fall behind on your work. As soon as you get a case, develop and plan and diary it and don't extend your time to get things done. And, yes, after more than a decade of litigating, I still get nervous in court. How can you not? You always have to be on your a-game. It's a one shot deal and if you blow it, your client doesn't get a second chance. It's like your final exam being the only that that counts in your grade.

After 23 years of being a litigator, all I can say is that the stress never ends. The only way to end it, is to get out. If you are going to do that, do it as early in your career as possible. From experience I can relate that trying to do it later is very hard, as you will be marked as a litigator and that's the only thing any firm will be interested in regards to you.

NP. For the PPs who said to leave litigation, how does one go about that? I'd love to leave but have no specific industry or transactional skills that would make me desirable outside of general litigation skills. Help!

[Anonymous]

As the wife of a longtime litigator, and one with a good quality of life and not a big law litigator, I second the comment that the stress and unpredictability never ends.

[Anonymous]

I think you've gotten lots of good advice and perspectives on this thread. I've been a litigator for 13 years and here are some practical things I'll add, that haven't been mentioned. I'll +1 on almost everything else.

1. When I can't fall asleep at night, I read books I've read a million times before or watch TV reruns where I know all the character's voices (that way, I can close my eyes).

2. I keep pen and paper by my bed so that when I am trying to fall asleep and things are running through my head (or when I wake up in the middle of the night), I write down my idea for closing or the phone call I need to make or whatever and try to put it out of my head until morning.

3. Do not cut any ethical corners. Be super organized so that you don't miss deadlines. Document conversations with follow-up emails or letters. Stressing over these things will eat you up inside. Limit the stress to the responsibility you feel to your clients, not on this avoidable stuff.

4. I don't know if you have kids but when I had kids the emotional angst/stress actually got easier for me. Before I had kids, I didn't have any priority more important than work (what? happy hours with the girls? going to the gym? reading for pleasure? they all got regularly pushed aside because working for my clients (over preparing) was more important, or work was always running through my mind while I was doing other things). When I had kids, they became more important. I still over-prepare, but not to the extent I used to. It's much easier to leave work and say to myself "I'm not the one who is ultimately responsible for this... I didn't drive drunk/I didn't break a contract/I didn't have kids with an a-hole who in now need to divorce. I will do my best with the facts I have, but this is not my fault." And then, when I'm with my kids, they take all my attention so work is not running through my mind as much, unless I'm actually trying to do two things at once.

Best.

[Anonymous]

Litigator with 8 years experience here. I echo the PP's comment that having kids helped a lot. Getting into a good financial spot helps a lot too - it helps me know that my family is not dependent on this job, so I can leave if things go south and focus on my kids, which are really the most important thing.

The other thing I want to echo is that you have to learn to fake confidence. I have seen lawyers I work with do this again and again. I used to receive the criticism that I over prepared. I realize now that my instincts were good and that I Was making things easier for others on my team.

Don't beat yourself up over mistakes. Care less. And stick with it. I love litigation. It is exciting and stimulating in a way that contract work will never be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the responses. It helps to know that even the more experienced attys that I admire may be still nervous.
Just to clarify, I don't bill for my over preparing - my billables get reviewed and adjusted by the managing partners so the client doesn't pay for my inexperience. But yes, it takes away from my productivity and my time at home.
Some days I do wish I had a more transactional job, esp with the Fed, but that's harder said than done in this economy. I'm just thankful to have a job at all (coming from a stint of staying at home for 2 years with my kids). I don't hate litigation itself because it's never boring and I enjoy the strategizing, I just wish it wasn't so stressful. If I could just sit and write motions all day, without going to court, I think I would like that job.

OP, of course you'll get better with practice and time, but it is also important to learn how to cope with stressful situations. This article has good tips, including 2 I was struck by:
http://sharpbrains.com/blog/2013/05/20/six-tips-to-build-resilience-and-prevent-brain-damaging-stress/

"2. Relax: Eas­ier than it sounds, right? But relax­ation — through med­i­ta­tion, tai chi, yoga, a walk on the beach, or what­ever helps to quiet your mind and make you feel more at ease — can decrease blood pres­sure, res­pi­ra­tion rate, metab­o­lism and mus­cle ten­sion. Med­i­ta­tion, in par­tic­u­lar, is tremen­dously ben­e­fi­cial for man­ag­ing stress and build­ing men­tal resilience. Stud­ies also show that get­ting out into nature can have a pos­i­tive, restora­tive effect on reduc­ing stress and improv­ing cog­ni­tive func­tion. So move your yoga mat out into the yard, or turn off that tread­mill and take a walk in the park. Your brain will thank you for it."

"4. Take con­trol: Stud­ies show a direct cor­re­la­tion between feel­ings of psy­cho­log­i­cal empow­er­ment and stress resiliency. Empow­er­ing your­self with a feel­ing of con­trol over your own sit­u­a­tion can help reduce chronic stress and give you the con­fi­dence to take con­trol over your brain health. Some videogames and apps based on heart rate vari­abil­ity can be a great way to be proac­tive and take con­trol of our stress levels."

[Anonymous]

The biggest key for me was learning not to get stressed out about things I can't control. You can't control the facts of the case, you can't control opposing counsel's behavior, you can't control your bosses' behavior, and you can't control the court.

Learn to delegate what's appropriate to delegate. (No, you shouldn't be cite-checking your own briefs, as someone earlier suggested. That's what a paralegal is for.) You have paralegals, you have interns. Let them do their job, so you can focus on what you're supposed to be doing.

Find the areas of the law you enjoy. If you just like writing briefs, why not focus more on administrative law or record-review cases?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Litigation is like war--you may lose some battles but if you live to fight another day you can win the war. So keep a long view of things.

Exactly. . .but who would want to spend 40 years at war?

[Anonymous]

You may not be cut out for litigation if you're asking this question. When you go into the ring, you know you are going to get pummeled. But I like to think I can throw a punch as well as talk one
That's why I went into it. Maybe you'd rather be doing real estate closings or something less stressful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may not be cut out for litigation if you're asking this question. When you go into the ring, you know you are going to get pummeled. But I like to think I can throw a punch as well as talk one
That's why I went into it. Maybe you'd rather be doing real estate closings or something less stressful?

Take one

[Anonymous]

I think you just need to care less. I was a litigator for 10 years, and enjoyed it, but I could never stop stressing myself out and overdoing everything and it became really unhealthy for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP hit the nail on the head. Most mistakes can be fixed. Litigation is a minefield and there are a million opportunities to screw up.

Don't miss a filing deadline.
Keycite your cases so you don't cite a reversed case or miss the recent major decision.
Always check the FRCP (or governing procedural rules).
CYA by confirming things you've discussed with your colleagues/opposing counsel in writing.
Proofread everything, including the footnotes, signature block, certificate of service.
If you want to half ass something but your instinct tells you not to, don't. Sometimes the painful route is the necessary route.
Learn to recognize what you can put on the back burner. Half the projects my partners or clients would dream up never came to fruition.
Only stress about real deadlines, not artificial ones.
Apologize and take the blame and then say how you'll fix it.
Never blame the paralegal or the secretary. The buck stops with you, and anyway you don't want to piss them off.
Have an opinion as to what the argument should be but be prepared to listen to other opinions.
Ultimately whoever signs the pleading gets to make the final call. State your opinion for the record but then move on and do as you are told.
Litigation is like war--you may lose some battles but if you live to fight another day you can win the war. So keep a long view of things.

This is all good advice.

Also, take up meditation and mindfulness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Litigation is like war--you may lose some battles but if you live to fight another day you can win the war. So keep a long view of things.

Exactly. . .but who would want to spend 40 years at war?

Plenty of married people do it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Litigation is like war--you may lose some battles but if you live to fight another day you can win the war.

I'm not even sure what that means and I'm a litigator. Is the "war" a particular case or an analogy for something else? If so, what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Litigation is like war--you may lose some battles but if you live to fight another day you can win the war.

I'm not even sure what that means and I'm a litigator. Is the "war" a particular case or an analogy for something else? If so, what?

I think it's code for "unhelpful douchebag." Maybe OP would be happier out of litigation or maybe not, but the "war" PP clearly thinks far too highly of himself. War is fought with real weapons, not empty words, and people die.