District Security Officer Prohibited Me from Breastfeeding at DMV, Accusing Me of Indecent Exposure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am relaying the details of an incident that occurred last week at the DMV to make all of you lactating moms know what we are sometimes up against and publicize what rights we have. I was not aware of the DC law until I faced this situation:

If I were you, I'd call Petula Dvorak at the Washington Post.

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP. Those security guards were way out of line. IF they wanted to go after you for being defiant and sitting on the floor, fine. But to make it about breastfeeding is bullshit. I'm actually shocked at some of the comments here and had to check to see if it was still 2011 or if I had traveled back in time to 1950 at some point during the night.

[Anonymous]

God I hate entitled self absorbed liberals like the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am relaying the details of an incident that occurred last week at the DMV to make all of you lactating moms know what we are sometimes up against and publicize what rights we have. I was not aware of the DC law until I faced this situation:

I have now read this thing through a couple of times and analyzed it a bit closer. A few observations:

You are trying to give the impression that you are relaying a set of set of facts, but your descriptions are filled with assumptions about motives by the security guards and loaded with bids for sympathy for you. Really, your eyes were big?

Second, you start off by saying action was threatened against you. WHAT action? Again, I read this several times and nowhere does it say what they threatened you with? It seems to me that you leveled the threat -- to call a lawyer. You may have intended to be assertive, but I can see how that would be perceived by many as pugnacious.

Third, you were accosted for sitting on a floor in the building, not for nursing. You were later told, wrongly, you can't nurse in the building, but even though you have that right it doesn't mean you could do it sitting on a floor.

It seems to me like this entire incident could have been avoided had you asked, politely and civily, whether there was a facility in the building for nursing mothers (which it sounds like there is?) But it also seems to me like maybe you didn't really want to avoid this incident, and now you very much want to make a big stink about it.

Yes, you have rights, but you didn't exercise them very well.

[Anonymous]

I bf in public all the time and had breast feeding laws by state in case I was ever approached. I never was, though. OP didn't handle things on the best way, but who always does. She just wanted feed her son under less than ideal circumstances and the DMV brings out the worst in people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God I hate entitled self absorbed liberals like the OP.

I am very much a liberal and am the one who said OP was a piece of work. Please don't lump us all together/assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you got off on the wrong foot by sitting on the floor of a busy corridor and then being confrontational and defiant when asked to not sit on the floor. I imagine if someone had stepped on your foot or tripped and fallen on you - you'd have also speed dialed your lawyer to sue.

That building is hectic and full of people trying to get to different places so I agree that sitting on the floor in the middle of the busy hallway in order to exercise your rights was a poor choice. Do I think you should be able to breastfeed - absolutely. Does breastfeeding mean you don't have to obey rules or meet expectations - no. It sounds like the security officers and you jointly escalated the situation. It is likely that many women have breastfed in that building in an unassuming way without two female security going off on them.

I agree.

Way to go, OP. Troublemaker.

[Anonymous]

OP-You sound like a real piece of work.

Signed,

A breastfeeding mother



I think the OP was just looking for a battle.

+1

OP you should have complied with the first request to get up off the floor. When you refused, you set the stage for every interaction that followed. I have no sympathy for you.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some of you are really harsh. 0P, I sympathize with you, trying to find a way to feed your child in a stressful situation.

And for those of you saying a woman should always cover up while she is feeding her baby: please. Breast-feeding can actually be done discreetly without a cover. Are people aware that my baby is feeding? Sure. But can they see any more of my breasts than a revealing tank top would show? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP-You sound like a real piece of work.

Signed,

A breastfeeding mother



I think the OP was just looking for a battle.

+1

OP you should have complied with the first request to get up off the floor. When you refused, you set the stage for every interaction that followed. I have no sympathy for you.

And keep in mind that's not some free standing DMV in a parking lot. It's police headquarters and OP was there for a traffic court appearance in a building named after a police officer who got shot there. Metal detectors needed. How many people sit on the floor there ? It's also the building where registered sex offenders go.

I assume OP wasn't there in a professional capacity. She was there for court not to get a license renewed. Police officers never know who is a nut.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I can see it not being a good idea to allow members of the public carting personal belongs (stroller, shopping cart, whatever) into the corridor and then crouching down and tending to whatever business they have. Sure, maybe you were just feeding your infant, but it's not hard to imagine in today's world what else someone could be doing. Hmm, bombs in shoes, explosives in underwear . . . . We're not pioneering women anymore, we live post 9/11. Times, they are a-changing.
Instead of trying to squeeze some "apology" (probably in the form of a cashier's check) from the security guards at the DMV, why not work with the city to provide a comfy chair in a ladies room for you? Wait, they may already have one. Did you ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you got off on the wrong foot by sitting on the floor of a busy corridor and then being confrontational and defiant when asked to not sit on the floor. I imagine if someone had stepped on your foot or tripped and fallen on you - you'd have also speed dialed your lawyer to sue.

That building is hectic and full of people trying to get to different places so I agree that sitting on the floor in the middle of the busy hallway in order to exercise your rights was a poor choice. Do I think you should be able to breastfeed - absolutely. Does breastfeeding mean you don't have to obey rules or meet expectations - no. It sounds like the security officers and you jointly escalated the situation. It is likely that many women have breastfed in that building in an unassuming way without two female security going off on them.

I agree with this and 7:28. I gie OP kudos for BFing in a way that, initially, wasn't apparent to the security guard but sitting in the hallway of a busy corridor threatens the safety of others. It's never okay to do that and to tell a security guard that you're going to waiting until your DC is finished before moving is just unacceptable. The security guards were clearly wrong about the law but in this case the greater wrong was done by OP.

Oh - and I'm one of those liberal moms who's participated in a number of nurse-ins.

[Anonymous]

How was OP supposed to go find a room when her case could have been called at any time (and was)? Would you have a problem with her standing in the corridor feeding her child from a bottle (assuming that was not against building regulations)?

I agree the officers were reasonable to ask her not to sit on the floor, and that perhaps she was a bit confrontational. But that's not a crime. She can be confrontational if she wants -- lots of us are. The people who say "PP, I'd have more sympathy if you didn't start out by breaking the law" are missing the point -- she didn't break the law at all, because apparently it is not against the law to breastfeed in a public place.

Now, if I were walking down the hallway and saw her breastfeeding, would I feel a little uncomfortable? Sure, maybe. Just like I feel uncomfortable and sad when I see a homeless guy crouched against a wall by the metro entrance. I feel super uncomfortable and dirty when I have to walk through a cloud when people smoke by the doorway. And I look away when I see high school or college kids having a deep make-out session on a metro bench. None of these things make it a crime for the people to participate (unless maybe the kids start stripping off or something). The OP was exercising her rights, and if I don't want to see it, I have the power to look away. My slight discomfort does not preclude her from being able to breastfeed wherever she wants. It would be nice if she does it reasonably tastefully, like those who describe cover-ups, but really it is her choice. Those who compare it to porn are nuts.

OP was just lucky she had more resources than most (her law firm) and could research the law. I hope her case does make it thru the Office of Human Rights and is publicized -- not so OP can get any material redress, because frankly she didn't really suffer any material harm, but so that the officers and others who administer the laws become aware of what the law is and how it should be enforced.

[Anonymous]

Subject line should read: District Security Officer Prohibited Me from sitting on the floor of a corridor outside a busy hearing room, asked me to get up, and I said "okay" but ignored the officer and when she told me to get up again I did so, slowly, and then stood in a busy corridor with my infant and stroller and breastfed my son while standing against the wall and then when I wouldn't move, I challenged the guards, called back to my law firm and then overheard one guard saying on the phone that I was exposing myself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How was OP supposed to go find a room when her case could have been called at any time (and was)? Would you have a problem with her standing in the corridor feeding her child from a bottle (assuming that was not against building regulations)?

Red herring. What if DB was latched on when the case was called?

OP was wronged, but she was also in the wrong and contributed to the wronging. Being able to nurse in public is an absolute right, as it should be, but it doesn't come with a set of entitlements to behave badly to public servants, even if they are in the wrong.

She went out of her way to be confrontational, probably because she thought she was being harassed. But at the end of the day all that happened to her was:

1) She was told not to sit on the floor in the hallway (rightly)
2) She was told subsequently she can't nurse in the building in public (wrongly).

Contrary to the premise of the complaint, she was not THREATENED with anything. She also escalated a situation needlessly. THEN she came here expecting, I think, an amen chorus. Which, you'll notice, she isn't getting, because at the end of the day, this isn't akin to some of the more egregious examples of restrictions on nursing mothers. It involves ignorant employees who were put on the defensive by a person who 1) Didn't initially comply with the instruction to get off the floor, which can be perceived, rightly, as uncooperative. 2) Was belligerent and condescending and threatening. ("I'm going to call my lawyer! MY LAWYER!")