school and low demands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with really challenging behaviors, especially when given demands. As a result school has stopped making a lot of demands on him. He is allowed to walk the halls, chose alternate activities. When given a demand, he gets mad, upset and doesn't do the work and then causes a lot more difficulty. He is in fourth grade. Are there any schools that are skilled in working with this type of kid? He is really smart and if he falls behind he is able to catch up. He just is demand avoidant.

Sounds like he is in the right school. What do you want to be different?

No PP or OP.

This is my kid. We are in the most amazing non-public but…PDA is still PDA and demands are everywhere in a school setting.

We really need a PDA/2e type school in the DMV. We know so many families struggling.

I can imagine why there is no school out there that wants to specialize in students who pathologically avoid teacher demands.

[Anonymous]

NP. DS is in public school. He has a diagnosis of ASD, ADHD, and PDA. He used to refuse to participate but that's gotten better with maturity. He likes to follow along and do what other kids are doing so the group setting helps. And Focalin has really really helped him.

Since PDA is generally caused by a difficult combination of ASD and ADHD, medication can be very helpful for these kids.

[Anonymous]

OP- I am grateful the school is accomodating, but it feels too accommodating. He needs to learn to go to school. He is very bright (not just because he is my child), but his natural ability is only going to take him so far if he won't stay in class. I want to find a way for him to learn to attend school and function.

[Anonymous]

Look at Auburn. There are a number of kids there with varying diagnoses, and it could be a good fit. Helped a lot for us with a kid who is demand avoidant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher, and I currently have a student with PDA, and it is really hard to manage in a school setting. I know the research on what works best for kids with PDA, but I find it nearly impossible to implement in the general ed classroom. I’m impressed, OP, that your child’s school is able to tolerate so much.

NP here. What does the research say?

[Anonymous]

Montessori? There was a school that went through at least middle school in northern Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Waldorf would be good for pda kids. Lots of hands on stuff. Or some sort of unstructured schooling . I also think something like commonwealth with all of its structure around each class.

OMG, not Waldorf, please. They are completely unaccepting of neurodiversity and think eurhythmics can cure everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I am grateful the school is accomodating, but it feels too accommodating. He needs to learn to go to school. He is very bright (not just because he is my child), but his natural ability is only going to take him so far if he won't stay in class. I want to find a way for him to learn to attend school and function.

Does he have an IEP and BIP? These are serious behaviors that should be addressed in a BIP with the goal of getting him back to class.

I don’t buy into the “PDA” label but I will say that my child’s elementary school was unable to handle all sorts of behaviors in upper elementary (not just in my child). Middle school so far has been MUCH better because they have higher expectations and much more structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with really challenging behaviors, especially when given demands. As a result school has stopped making a lot of demands on him. He is allowed to walk the halls, chose alternate activities. When given a demand, he gets mad, upset and doesn't do the work and then causes a lot more difficulty. He is in fourth grade. Are there any schools that are skilled in working with this type of kid? He is really smart and if he falls behind he is able to catch up. He just is demand avoidant.

Sounds like he is in the right school. What do you want to be different?

No PP or OP.

This is my kid. We are in the most amazing non-public but…PDA is still PDA and demands are everywhere in a school setting.

We really need a PDA/2e type school in the DMV. We know so many families struggling.

I can imagine why there is no school out there that wants to specialize in students who pathologically avoid teacher demands.

Why? Demand avoidance is an extremely common behavior. It’s the bread and butter of behavioral modification. People treat it like it’s something special but it’s truly not.

That said, I will agree that there is a dearth of academically focused schools that serve kids with behavioral issues of all types. Even Ivymount will reject kids with disruptive behaviors. When we were facing this it seemed like there was a huge gulf between mainstreaming with an IEP/BIP and the private placements or self contained public programs that were able to handle behaviors that were geared towards kids that needed frequent restraint, were wearing ankle bracelets, etc. It seemed like MCPS had the broadest range of programs like ESESES that could handle some behaviors but still provide appropriate academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend whose child was having particularly difficulty adapting to the demands of school has chosen to homeschool. Very much a 2e child who is bright and has no academic or social impairments, but does struggle with a PDA presentation of autism.

We have a child who also struggled with demands and transitions, but is not yet elementary school aged so no personal advice.

Responding appropriately to demands is a critical social skill. It's not possible for a kid to have PDA and no social impairments. It's like saying "my kid is blind and has no visual impairments."

DP. ITA! I will say though - as my child with autism has matured, the social issues have become much less of an issue to the point where I do not think it qualifies as an impairment - meaning he can make friends etc. The inability to follow rules/demand avoidance and emotional regulation is a much bigger issue. Possibly its time to set aside the autism label for him & look more to ADHD and just his individual temperament!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with really challenging behaviors, especially when given demands. As a result school has stopped making a lot of demands on him. He is allowed to walk the halls, chose alternate activities. When given a demand, he gets mad, upset and doesn't do the work and then causes a lot more difficulty. He is in fourth grade. Are there any schools that are skilled in working with this type of kid? He is really smart and if he falls behind he is able to catch up. He just is demand avoidant.

Sounds like he is in the right school. What do you want to be different?

No PP or OP.

This is my kid. We are in the most amazing non-public but…PDA is still PDA and demands are everywhere in a school setting.

We really need a PDA/2e type school in the DMV. We know so many families struggling.

I can imagine why there is no school out there that wants to specialize in students who pathologically avoid teacher demands.

Why? Demand avoidance is an extremely common behavior. It’s the bread and butter of behavioral modification. People treat it like it’s something special but it’s truly not.

That said, I will agree that there is a dearth of academically focused schools that serve kids with behavioral issues of all types. Even Ivymount will reject kids with disruptive behaviors. When we were facing this it seemed like there was a huge gulf between mainstreaming with an IEP/BIP and the private placements or self contained public programs that were able to handle behaviors that were geared towards kids that needed frequent restraint, were wearing ankle bracelets, etc. It seemed like MCPS had the broadest range of programs like ESESES that could handle some behaviors but still provide appropriate academics.

DP. Yes, demand avoidance is pretty common among NT and ND people and there are ways to overcome or deal with it. For some people, the demand avoidance is pathological, which is a whole 'nother level. For those who have not encountered it personally, it doesn't seem like anything different than other demand avoidance. So you cannot really speak to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with really challenging behaviors, especially when given demands. As a result school has stopped making a lot of demands on him. He is allowed to walk the halls, chose alternate activities. When given a demand, he gets mad, upset and doesn't do the work and then causes a lot more difficulty. He is in fourth grade. Are there any schools that are skilled in working with this type of kid? He is really smart and if he falls behind he is able to catch up. He just is demand avoidant.

Sounds like he is in the right school. What do you want to be different?

No PP or OP.

This is my kid. We are in the most amazing non-public but…PDA is still PDA and demands are everywhere in a school setting.

We really need a PDA/2e type school in the DMV. We know so many families struggling.

I can imagine why there is no school out there that wants to specialize in students who pathologically avoid teacher demands.

Why? Demand avoidance is an extremely common behavior. It’s the bread and butter of behavioral modification. People treat it like it’s something special but it’s truly not.

That said, I will agree that there is a dearth of academically focused schools that serve kids with behavioral issues of all types. Even Ivymount will reject kids with disruptive behaviors. When we were facing this it seemed like there was a huge gulf between mainstreaming with an IEP/BIP and the private placements or self contained public programs that were able to handle behaviors that were geared towards kids that needed frequent restraint, were wearing ankle bracelets, etc. It seemed like MCPS had the broadest range of programs like ESESES that could handle some behaviors but still provide appropriate academics.

DP. Yes, demand avoidance is pretty common among NT and ND people and there are ways to overcome or deal with it. For some people, the demand avoidance is pathological, which is a whole 'nother level. For those who have not encountered it personally, it doesn't seem like anything different than other demand avoidance. So you cannot really speak to it.

I don’t think that’s what OP describes.