When your kid is friends with a bad influence who is also in the same class

[Anonymous]

Parents get it wrong half the time and don’t realize that their child is the leader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One perspective:

It is rare that there is one bad influence and parents are predisposed to think their own child is "the good one" in any dynamic.
Your child will throughout their life be exposed to influences. You don't provide them the tools needed to be a good human in life by cutting off the influence. You teach them the appropriate way to react (or not) to that influence.

I know this sounds condescending, but I don't mean for it to. I speak from experience being in your position.

+1Your kid might also be serving as a bad influencer. It can’t be all on that one child that they so closely align with.

[Anonymous]

Define “bad influence”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a bad influence? Unless its evidence of drugs or destructive behavior I wouldnt interfere. If its a class clown type kid, just let it be.

Probably a B student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a bad influence? Unless its evidence of drugs or destructive behavior I wouldnt interfere. If its a class clown type kid, just let it be.

I’m the PP from up thread (I was that kid).

In my case, we moved across country after 7th grade and I never saw the bad-influence boys again.

In their case (the bad influence boys I left behind) one of them ended up in juvenile hall (late 1970s); I think he stabbed another kid with a knife. The other kid did stuff like low-level arson, building little bombs, pilfering marijuana from his dad and step-mom’s illegal greenhouse, breaking car windows at night with a slingshot just for fun, petty theft, shoplifting, etc. typical teen boy stuff.

We knew well we were under 18 so they couldn’t do anything to us, even if we got caught. This was all in California a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a bad influence? Unless its evidence of drugs or destructive behavior I wouldnt interfere. If its a class clown type kid, just let it be.

I’m the PP from up thread (I was that kid).

In my case, we moved across country after 7th grade and I never saw the bad-influence boys again.

In their case (the bad influence boys I left behind) one of them ended up in juvenile hall (late 1970s); I think he stabbed another kid with a knife. The other kid did stuff like low-level arson, building little bombs, pilfering marijuana from his dad and step-mom’s illegal greenhouse, breaking car windows at night with a slingshot just for fun, petty theft, shoplifting, etc. typical teen boy stuff.

We knew well we were under 18 so they couldn’t do anything to us, even if we got caught. This was all in California a long time ago.

Clearly a very long time ago.

I doubt OP is concerned about "juvenile hall."

But we can't be sure, because OP has gone MIA, or at least they are refusing to clarify what they mean by "bad influence." Probably means the kid who is the bad influence got a B in math and has parents that let them go to parties with both boys and girls or something.

[Anonymous]

My parents were ones who thought every kid who didn’t get straight As with 2 parents in a single family home was a bad influence. It sucked.

Now, we focus on our kid. We are honest - like hey, I know Joe failed math and ditches school. That’s fine but just know that isn’t what we expect of you. We trust you but you have to continue to show us that we should. So far, it’s working. He is on a sports team where half the kids really don’t care about school or college. We focus on his actions and he can still be friends with others but same rules don’t always apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We told DD that she made bad choices when hanging out with a particular friend. She wasn’t allowed to hang out with that friend outside of school. The girl’s mom thought I blamed her daughter, which I didn’t. I blame DD for making bad choices. It was initially very difficult but they drifted apart. The girl’s mom can’t let it go though. I occasionally see her around and she’s just insane. I feel bad for her daughter.

I just think there are some kids that create a bad mix. I had a friend like that growing up as a teen. We would egg each other on to do crazy stuff. It was out of control. Neither of us are bad people but together we are toxic.

Are you the OP??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define “bad influence”.

Child does AOPS online instead of going to RSM in person. Plays the flute instead of the violin. Eats Oreo cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define “bad influence”.

Child does AOPS online instead of going to RSM in person. Plays the flute instead of the violin. Eats Oreo cookies.

Exactly as I thought. Cut this friendship immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was that kid. Had a friend or two in MS who were definitely bad influences.

While I turned out okay eventually, please try to disrupt this friendship while you still can. It’s called parenting. Watch out for your kid.

Me too, all because of assigned seating in homeroom. A drop of poison spoils the well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told DD that she made bad choices when hanging out with a particular friend. She wasn’t allowed to hang out with that friend outside of school. The girl’s mom thought I blamed her daughter, which I didn’t. I blame DD for making bad choices. It was initially very difficult but they drifted apart. The girl’s mom can’t let it go though. I occasionally see her around and she’s just insane. I feel bad for her daughter.

I just think there are some kids that create a bad mix. I had a friend like that growing up as a teen. We would egg each other on to do crazy stuff. It was out of control. Neither of us are bad people but together we are toxic.

Are you the OP??

No I forgot to put NP.

[Anonymous]

Many kids in FCPS are really into vaping in 2024.

Kids can’t buy vapes; that’s illegal.

Since it’s all illegal for kids anyway, it really doesn’t matter if it is illegal nicotine or an illegal marijuana vape, like Britany Griner got caught with.

Kids in FCPS vape a lot of marijuana. They do it in the bathrooms. Ask your own kids if they see/smell vapes at their school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many kids in FCPS are really into vaping in 2024.

Kids can’t buy vapes; that’s illegal.

Since it’s all illegal for kids anyway, it really doesn’t matter if it is illegal nicotine or an illegal marijuana vape, like Britany Griner got caught with.

Kids in FCPS vape a lot of marijuana. They do it in the bathrooms. Ask your own kids if they see/smell vapes at their school.

But is doing marijuana in school really “a bad influence?” Or totally ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many kids in FCPS are really into vaping in 2024.
Kids can’t buy vapes; that’s illegal.

Since it’s all illegal for kids anyway, it really doesn’t matter if it is illegal nicotine or an illegal marijuana vape, like Britany Griner got caught with.

Kids in FCPS vape a lot of marijuana. They do it in the bathrooms. Ask your own kids if they see/smell vapes at their school.

But is doing marijuana in school really “a bad influence?” Or totally ok?

I just saw an ad for THCA blunts on this thread

So.. I.. really can’t say