Travelling Spouses
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Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]If you have a spouse that travels a fair bit (say, one week a month) and has for years, do you ever just calculate the odds of them cheating, even if you have a solid and committed relationship?
I mean, say you and your spouse love one another, have frequent and passionate sex, still do plenty of fun things together (golf, kayaking, live music, camping, etc.) but you are apart for a lot of time. My spouse is currently in London for 10 days for the 5th time since January and it popped in my head that there's zero chance they haven't been horny any of those times. Now multiply that over 5 years and it seems very unlikely that they have abstained from something they enjoy for that entire time. I guess I'm wondering what you think the percentages are of happy spouses cheating on work travel. * all of this assumes your spouse is attractive and others would want to sleep with them as in my case.[/quote] Are you not attractive? Is that why you haven’t been getting railed while he was away on work? |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]If you have a spouse that travels a fair bit (say, one week a month) and has for years, do you ever just calculate the odds of them cheating, even if you have a solid and committed relationship?
I mean, say you and your spouse love one another, have frequent and passionate sex, still do plenty of fun things together (golf, kayaking, live music, camping, etc.) but you are apart for a lot of time. My spouse is currently in London for 10 days for the 5th time since January and it popped in my head that there's zero chance they haven't been horny any of those times. Now multiply that over 5 years and it seems very unlikely that they have abstained from something they enjoy for that entire time. I guess I'm wondering what you think the percentages are of happy spouses cheating on work travel. * all of this assumes your spouse is attractive and others would want to sleep with them as in my case.[/quote] You are also alone when they are traveling, should they calculate your odds? |
Anonymous
Not unlikely, when there is so much at stake, it weighs on every decision. |
Anonymous
I’m not so sure about that last part. Nobody is hitting on unattractive men, so cheating requires the sustained effort of presence not just a travel ONS. |
Anonymous
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I always find this odd.
I traveled a hell of a lot more than one week a month for over a decade. Never once cheated, never considered it. I would climb mountains to get back to my wife as quickly as possible. 43 yo male. |
Anonymous
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A cheater is going to cheat OP and they don’t need a business trip to do it.
A loyal spouse is loyal and it doesn’t take a 10 day business trip to change it. |
Anonymous
| I traveled on business hundreds of times over my career and never cheated. Early in my career I knew a couple of guys who couldn’t keep it in their pants. I assume most cheaters do it on the sly because rumors can spread fast. Twice in my career over six month periods (relos) I’d only be home every other weekend and that was a test of horniness but I always passed the test and certainly enjoyed getting home. |
Anonymous
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Yes I think about it and drive myself crazy especially when I'm pms'ing.
But I remind myself that also I could be cheating (although I'm not). When I feel crazy jealous, I wait til he has back and then I dress extra sexy when I go out and say nothing about it to him. New makeup, new outfits, new jewelry. I feel validated (I know this is all about ego) and then actually he wants me more. Just have to let go and accept that it is what it is... |
Anonymous
True, but for those in the grey area, it's significantly easier to cheat when traveling for work; first, because of logistics, and second, some people can compartmentalize who they are on a work trip versus who they are at home in their community. |
Anonymous
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I am a woman and travel monthly for work. I see lots of cheating going on and get propositioned every trip at the hotel bar. The opportunity is always there if you want to take it.
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Anonymous
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I am the traveling spouse and I’m the woman’s
Yes, I get horny. Healthy adults do. And I take the opportunity while in business trips to read spicy books uninterrupted, have long showers, and take care of my own needs in privacy and with no chance of being interrupted by kids or even spouse. Healthy adults get horny. Emotionally healthy adults in healthy relationships don’t cheat. |
Anonymous
| My coworker and I always go out to dinner and drinks when on business travel. Lots of flirting and the tension between us is insane, but we never cross the line. I am sure his wife would not approve of our time together even though we never have sex. |
Anonymous
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I travelled for work M-F as a consultant for 10 years with a company with a very “work hard / play hard” frat boy culture. I was a woman in my 20s and most of the managers and senior execs were men.
On any team over 20-30 people, there was usually one guy that was known to be a flirt when drunk or to be “dating” junior women, clients, or in one case the girl from the Avis counter at the small airport we flew into every week. But for the most part, there wasn’t a ton of married men hooking up. The junior women were mostly drinking too much and hooking up with the junior men. What there was instead was a lot of middle aged dads who drank too much and acted like college bros. They always wanted to have team dinners at steak houses, do shots, stay out late, and act like idiots because presumably they had eat healthy and spend their weekends mowing the lawn and going to soccer games. As young single people we thought it was annoying because we wanted to rest and workout during the week so we could act a fool on the weekends. For 19/20 men, heavy drinking and regrettable dancing or karaoke - yes, sex with colleagues and clients - no. |