Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know this is a “you’re going to miss this” thing and the moment I hit ‘submit’ on this post she won’t want to hang out anymore, but, lately DD13 wants to spend a TON of time with me, and not just time adjacent to me doing what I’m doing, but me doing exactly what she wants to do, and without distraction. Example: She wants to spend time together but I’m making dinner, she won’t sit at the counter and talk with me. After dinner when in just want a moment, she wants attention, only she won’t just sit and read with me, or sit quietly on the deck with me, she wants me to do exactly what she’s wants to do, no distraction.
I don’t remember being like this with my mother, and we were close. I would talk with her while she gardened, walked with her, etc. With DD, I feel guilty if I say no because I don’t want her to think I choose other things before her, but also, I feel a little smothered. DH is currently working long hours on a job and isn’t home until after we are all in bed, so I think that’s part of the issue: I have no alone time right now. Any advice?
OK, sorry. But after dinner, she wants to spend time with you. That is okay with you if you don't have to talk to her. GMAB. What do you mean be "exactly what she wants to do"? Sounds like she wants to talk to her mother. This makes me very sad for her.
If cooking, gardening, other things need to be done- of course include her, teach her, tell her its part of her chores. Go for walks with her. But don't avoid talking with your DD for goodness sake. What if not everything is totally okay and she's being clingy because she's working her way up to telling you something? Or a million other things.
I am working, single mother of two so it's not that I don't understand time to oneself. But just looking at this post you are sounding a little selfish OP.