Your son comes first, always! Don’t cancel appointment. You’ve been stealth at keeping your husband at bay. Keep doing that until son is diagnosed and receiving all therapies. Don’t know how you’re managing it all, I’m very sorry. You didn’t talk about your husband as a father. Need more details. You have a long way to go with young kids. Prioritize them, keep them safe, and as the acronyms go DTMF! He’s not contributing enough financially to have any control. Take control. You can’t live like this. Do you have family/friends that can take the kids once in a while? You’re a great micro manager already, time to start planning. Do you work? |
Divorce, all that is insane. |
You said " had a tendency to be relentlessly critical and fly into a rage"
Your husband is not a "nice guy" He is a pos and you are failing your children by letting him treat them badly. |
I came to say the same thing. The fact that you’re concerned about the effect going through with this appointment will have on your marriage shows how far gone you are. Please, please seek professional help. Your husband is abusive and it is definitely going to affect your kids even if he doesn’t say such things to them. You grew up in a house like this - how could you be willing to subject your children to the same thing?!? |
You are the person that posted elsewhere about a doctor asking only to deal with you, right? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1202315.page It's obvious why the doctor feels this way. Anyway, everyone deals with challenges in marriage, but charitably/at best, your husband is mentally ill. You still don't have to live with this abuse. GET OUT. |
My husband was a rager and abusive and it’s so hard to explain to people how much you can convince yourself that your marriage is pretty normal when things are NOT normal and you that you are somehow in charge of your spouse’s feelings and inappropriate behavior.
That is where OP is right now. |
Your husband is 100% abusive and he will abuse your kids too. Divorce him now!!! I can't imagine living like you are living. He is not a nice guy and your children will absolutely suffer. They are already suffering if he is insisting you cancel an evaluation that could help your child get proper interventions.
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OP, have you posted other threads?
Was that you in the ped firing spouse thread? |
You told her to explain it to him and then to stop debating it with him… OP do NOT let him cancel the appointment. He doesn’t have to go if he won’t do that. Screw him. |
I sincerely hope that this OP has never posted before. |
Do you have a job or income or are you entirely financially dependent on your abuser?
Are there assets such as bank accounts, retirement accounts? Do you have access to them? Keep the appointment. Make an appointment to find out how to protect yourself financially. |
1000% |
So how did you break out? Since OP needs the same advice. |
Make no mistake that you are complicit if you stay with him and allow your children to grow up in this environment. You aren't protecting them. You are normalizing it.
Just look in the mirror and see what it did to you. You said that your father did the same. |
Give that a-hole your blessing for him to go off and live out his dimwitted plan of running a surf resort.
And as the designated adult, get your child the care he needs. |