Is Marriage Worth It?

[Anonymous]

Yes, children are a big part why people get married.

If children are not the goal, then It depends on what marriage offers that long term partnership won’t. A few things come to mind like tax implications, ability to be involved during end of life stage, if spouses are from different countries then marriage would be needed to live together, or if one of the spouses relocated with work then being married makes it easier. Outside of these specific circumstances and issues, not sure what being married will change in a relationship.

Unless you are deeply religious and marry in Catholic Church, being married will not stop you divorcing.

If you’re not feeling secure, or the partner is cheating, marriage will not solve that either.

If you have love, trust, security, being or not being married will not add much either except for specific practical implications.

[Anonymous]

You know why they say “when you know, you know?” Because it’s true.

[Anonymous]

I like being married. I was always the kind of person who had one best friend though. I like living with my best friend and hanging out with him all of the time. Kids are tricky because there are a lot of gendered expectations that i wasn’t prepared for. I think it could be better without kids.

[Anonymous]

With the right person, YES!

My husband is my best friend, my soulmate. I go to bed with him and wake up every morning with him.

We explore the work together and share our thoughts and dreams.

Everything is not perfect. We are individuals. We argue, we have disagreements. But, this is the person I want to grow old with. It’s worth it to me.

[Anonymous]

I’m happily married and marriage (vs cohabitation) was important to me when I was younger. Now I know more long-term unmarried couples and that seems fine too. I do think there can be financial reasons to marry or not (taxes, retirement beneficiaries, pension survivor benefits…) and there are other legal aspects (like visiting in the hospital) that can be easier if married. For me my DH didn’t see the need unless we had kids, except that it mattered to me. We’ve been together 26 years, married about 17.

[Anonymous]

Nope!

[Anonymous]

There are no tax benefits if income is over a certain amount.

[Anonymous]

The way I look at it, humans are set up to pair bond.

Marriage has some valuable cultural and contractual aspects to it.

I don't like to share and monogamy is important to me.

There's no guarantee that a marriage will last. However, I think "putting a ring on it" is the best hope/promise/contractual arrangement you can make to try to ensure that.

I'm fine with other people's varied agreements and lifestyles. I think marriage does mean something more than just partnering unless you have a very unusual conscientious objector policy towards marriage.

I agree it's much more legally advisable when children are involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single and childless 37 year old woman. I’ve never been married - didn’t see a point in my younger years because I didn’t want kids. I still don’t want kids ( will not be able to have them naturally) but I’ve been changing my mind on marriage. I would love to have a life partner and feel like marriage may be worth it, but I’ve had so many married people tell me to marriage isn’t worth it unless you want kids. They tell me to stay single or just date long term. Thoughts?

Not worth it if you are going to compromise who you are. It can be a slippery slope of settling especially when we (women) get to a certain age. I settled and wasted a large part of my life believing I was stuck due to the kids.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are in out 60s and health issues have emerged. We have been happy over 40 years but the last 8 or so have been difficult; job loss, death of parents, health issues, etc.

When he had surgery recently, he needed a lot of help. Like a lot.

In these instances there's nothing like a spouse to lend aid and comfort. Maybe a sibling or a child, but that is a burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are no tax benefits if income is over a certain amount.

Yes, you actually pay a penalty depending on how much you make and how close your incomes are. We pay about 15k a year to be married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single and childless 37 year old woman. I’ve never been married - didn’t see a point in my younger years because I didn’t want kids. I still don’t want kids ( will not be able to have them naturally) but I’ve been changing my mind on marriage. I would love to have a life partner and feel like marriage may be worth it, but I’ve had so many married people tell me to marriage isn’t worth it unless you want kids. They tell me to stay single or just date long term. Thoughts?

Stay single

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no tax benefits if income is over a certain amount.

Yes, you actually pay a penalty depending on how much you make and how close your incomes are. We pay about 15k a year to be married.

The tax code favors stay at home spouses not dual income couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no tax benefits if income is over a certain amount.

Yes, you actually pay a penalty depending on how much you make and how close your incomes are. We pay about 15k a year to be married.

You make far too much money to notice that 15K/yr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single and childless 37 year old woman. I’ve never been married - didn’t see a point in my younger years because I didn’t want kids. I still don’t want kids ( will not be able to have them naturally) but I’ve been changing my mind on marriage. I would love to have a life partner and feel like marriage may be worth it, but I’ve had so many married people tell me to marriage isn’t worth it unless you want kids. They tell me to stay single or just date long term. Thoughts?

Yes, it’s worth it if you find the right person. A lot of the good guys are taken by late 30’s -40’s though so you better get on it of you’re seriously thinking of getting married. Otherwise you’ll have slim pickings….Unless you don’t mind marrying a divorced guy with kids.