New friends in 7th grade?

[Anonymous]

DD was in a group of 4 close friends in 6th, and was less close friends with many others.
One moved away the summer after 6th. One changed and grew far apart from the others.
The remaining girl and DD are still close.
The beginning of the year seemed a little chaotic since DD did not have many classes or lunch with her original core friend group, but was doing ok having lunch with some girls she was friendly with from 6th. Now it is spring and DD has branched out quite a bit and made new friends in AA classes that few of her elementary school classmates are in.

[Anonymous]

Yes I found my kids made new friends every year, usually mostly at the start of the year. Keep some, make some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

Very true. These parents seem to have forgotten that popular kids today can just as easily become outcasts tomorrow on ringleader's whim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

What do you really want the parents to do? They can encourage kindness, but it’s hard to force a child to hang out with someone they don’t like anymore. (And my kid was excluded by his old friends , so I am not just one of popular kids’ parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the kid, not the age.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

Not having a 10 person themed Halloween group (excluding 2-3 of the prior “friends”) and then posting it all over social would be a decent start. But I’m sure you don’t see a problem with that either. And no my kid doesn’t have social or a phone. Someone at school told her, plus the kids openly discuss it and when asked if she can join, was told the group is “full”, and then proceeded to let others join.
What do you really want the parents to do? They can encourage kindness, but it’s hard to force a child to hang out with someone they don’t like anymore. (And my kid was excluded by his old friends , so I am not just one of popular kids’ parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

What do you really want the parents to do? They can encourage kindness, but it’s hard to force a child to hang out with someone they don’t like anymore. (And my kid was excluded by his old friends , so I am not just one of popular kids’ parents).

DP. They should be more analytical about it and not get caught up living vicariously through their children. One of my children got caught up with some "popular" kids for a while. I wasn't thrilled about it the way some other parents of popular kids sometimes are. I told my child these kinds of friendships are more prone to drama and I was right. A few parents do egg on this drama behind the scenes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

What do you really want the parents to do? They can encourage kindness, but it’s hard to force a child to hang out with someone they don’t like anymore. (And my kid was excluded by his old friends , so I am not just one of popular kids’ parents).

Parents care way too much if their kids is a cool or popular. I've seen it to many times on here with threads. "Is my kid to old for.." or "my tween, young teen is still acting like a kid." As for this thread, contrary to what ppl believe friends don't usually ditch friends for just differing interests or activities. It is usually for a bigger reasond and what kids believe is a good reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

What do you really want the parents to do? They can encourage kindness, but it’s hard to force a child to hang out with someone they don’t like anymore. (And my kid was excluded by his old friends , so I am not just one of popular kids’ parents).

Parents care way too much if their kids is a cool or popular. I've seen it to many times on here with threads. "Is my kid too old for.." or "my tween, young teen is still acting like a kid." As for this thread, contrary to what ppl believe friends don't usually ditch friends for just differing interests or activities. It is usually for a bigger reasond and what kids believe is a good reason.

Oh those posts bug me too. People who are making parenting decisions based on how their kid's friends will perceive their child as a result, and not based on what their kid is actually ready for. It's gross.

I also know parents who encourage their kids who have eclectic tastes in clothes or media to have more mainstream, popular choices, and I think that's sad. It's okay if your kid isn't into the same music that 90% of tweens like. Or isn't sporty or whatever. Let them like what they actually like and they WILL find friends who share their interests. And then they'll get to feel liked for who they actually are, and not because they have the "right" clothes and the "right" interests and know the "right" shows and songs and games. You might produce a popular kid by micromanaging their interests, but you will also produce a deeply insecure kid who worries that if they make a mistake, they'll lose all their friends (which they might, if they are in a crowd who bases friendship on whether you have the correct shoes or musical taste). You are actually handicapping your kid for life with this.

[Anonymous]

Mine didn’t in 6th. I assume you are in Fairfax county. It makes me sad, but they also didn’t put themselves out there and try either imo. If she tries, she will find her people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do 7th graders tend to find new friends or stick with the same from 6th? I realize that's hard to generalize but DD is worried she won't make new friends next year-- two of her good buddies are moving (overseas) and another longtime friend just isn't her cup of tea anymore. I keep telling her she'll make new friends next year based on who is in her classes/doing the same activites...but is that really true? Thankfully she has great friends outside of school.

My DD is in a middle school that is 6th 7th and 8th. Sixth grade was fine and she had friends. But her friends in 7th grade are completely different, partly because of class schedule and partly because of extracurricular activities. She is beyond happy this year. She will not miss school under any circumstances. So, it can change, a lot, and maybe for the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

Or, the ES friends gained more mature interests and they didn’t have as much in common with your DD anymore?

Starting in middle school, kids are no longer as obligated to be friends due to proximity and parent friendship. It’s a bummer when your kid can’t make new friends, when these friends are lost, but usually inability to make friends is probably a sign it’s more than just all the other kids being mean or only wanting popularity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

Or, the ES friends gained more mature interests and they didn’t have as much in common with your DD anymore?

Starting in middle school, kids are no longer as obligated to be friends due to proximity and parent friendship. It’s a bummer when your kid can’t make new friends, when these friends are lost, but usually inability to make friends is probably a sign it’s more than just all the other kids being mean or only wanting popularity

Even with different interests they still can't be friends with someone they've known for years? And I don't think kids in proximity for through patents can't be great or true friends. And anyway how "mature" are we going to let ES and MS kids get? They should be kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

Or, the ES friends gained more mature interests and they didn’t have as much in common with your DD anymore?

Starting in middle school, kids are no longer as obligated to be friends due to proximity and parent friendship. It’s a bummer when your kid can’t make new friends, when these friends are lost, but usually inability to make friends is probably a sign it’s more than just all the other kids being mean or only wanting popularity

You make it sound like neighborhood friends or family friends are a bad thing? I never found those friendships to be an obligation at all. Why would it be an obligation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids have very different friend groups than they had in 6th grade

This is true but it happens slowly and not all at once. My younger DD is in 7th now and still struggling to find her people. Her ES friends decided they were too cool for her in MS. It’s been really hard. I’m sure their parents don’t care as long as their kid is popular.

Or, the ES friends gained more mature interests and they didn’t have as much in common with your DD anymore?

Starting in middle school, kids are no longer as obligated to be friends due to proximity and parent friendship. It’s a bummer when your kid can’t make new friends, when these friends are lost, but usually inability to make friends is probably a sign it’s more than just all the other kids being mean or only wanting popularity