MIL and DH not speaking to each other WWYD
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Anonymous
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Stay out of it.
Would you want DH trying to overrule or micromanage your relationship with YOUR parents? Do not go behind his back to take the kids to MIL like a pp suggested. That's a sure fire way to get divorce papers on your desk. Maybe he just needs a breather and things will go back to normal, but IMO you need to support your husband. |
Anonymous
| No one suggested taking the kids behind his back. He was invited to come too. No reason that the kids can’t see their grandmother just because dad is arguing with his mom. Their relationship is separate from his. |
Anonymous
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My husband can be a handful too, and 100% in the wrong at times. I always tell him when I feel he's not treating others well (including the kids and me). So if I felt that MIL was unjustly excluded, and that this was making my kids suffer, I would visit her myself with the kids.
If I had a generally reasonable husband, I would back him up more. But I don't. So I have to make my own decisions. |
Anonymous
| Stay out of it and side with your DH unless you want a divorce. |
Anonymous
That is so petty and passive aggressive. If he doesnt want his children around his mother, that should be respected. Just as I'd hope a husband would respect a wife not wanting to bring the children around her father or mother while they are having issues. The kids will be fine not seeing toxic grandma for a few days/weeks. |
Anonymous
Sounds like you like to stir the pot and enjoy the drama. Parenting should be a two yes situation. If one party says "no" that needs to be taken into consideration. If DH doesnt want his own mother around his children, it would be incredibly rude and pot stirring to continue bringing them to her. What kind of parent would want to stir up this drama with DH and MIL? |
Anonymous
| If this were reversed, I'd be pissed if dh was going around me with my own mother. Your spouse should always come first. |
Anonymous
-1. That's taking mom's side. Maybe she beat him as a kid. |
Anonymous
This is good. I was in a similar situation a few years ago OP. I never told my husband he was wrong. I just told him that "we" needed to bury the hatchet. His parents are old and both have health issues. I straight up told him that I would visit his family without him because I was not going to keep the kids away from their grandparents. And that his parents could pass away at any moment and he did not want that on him for the rest of his life. And I called them up one night out of the blue to start the process. I think he called them a week or so later. I realize the standard DCUM answer is to back your husband, but I'd do the same again. In the end, my husband knew I was right and he's glad we are back on speaking terms with his parents. |
Anonymous
| It really depends on the family dynamics. Defer to your husband when it comes to his family of origin. |
Anonymous
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What does he want? My spouse can’t stand his mom and doesn’t really talk to her. But he still wants the kids to have a relationship with her and for years expected me to do all the chit chat with her when she visits, and gets mad if I don’t. So is the situation that he just doesn’t want to deal with her but is fine with you talking to her and bringing the kids for visits or is the situation that he thinks she’s awful and doesn’t want the kids around her?
If it’s the latter, I think I would respect that unless you really think he’s being off the rails about it and it’s harming your kids, in which case I might do what the first poster said. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't discuss either with either and I'd let them sort it out. They have history. |