NCS says no contact naps. Is she too strict?

[Anonymous]

My baby was strapped onto me pretty much all the time except when i went to sleep. That's what we liked. The 4th trimester is real

[Anonymous]

It’s mostly a function of the baby’s personality but I definitely agree that contact naps can be dangerous and if you want sleep training to be less traumatic, you have to start working on independent sleep early, especially for morning naps when your chance of success is highest. And personally I would never do it at night because I couldn’t handle the risk. I’d have to be standing up.

[Anonymous]

While it is important for them to nap and sleep alone eventually, go ahead and do contact naps when you can/want to when they are small. Oh my goodness, you’ll miss those times! The dishes can wait, the laundry can wait. Enjoy. Everything is a balance.

[Anonymous]

You can contact nap and not co-sleep. Two different things. Just make sure you’re awake while the baby is sleeping (if you’re holding him/her).

[Anonymous]

I can't prove cause and affect, but we never pushed our children away whey were small, and now they are teens and we are still bonded and are very comfortable spending time together.

They are my kids, not livestock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many children does she have? How well adjusted are they?

Babies need to be held. The majority of the world co-sleeps.

“Sleep training” is an abomination that essentially ignores the child’s needs until it gives up.

I 100% agree.

[Anonymous]

I would fire her. She should be working within the bounds of normal newborn behavior, which DEFINITELY includes sleeping while being held for several weeks. You do need to start proactively putting the baby down but it's not a hard and fast rule (like you can never hold a sleeping baby) and you don't really have to make a big effort until they are 3-4 months old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Postpartum doula and Ncs here -this advice is garbage please hold your baby!

1. You can't spoil a baby
2. A more secure attachment leads to more independent kids not the other way around
3. Daytime sleep and overnight sleep use a different part of the brain- many many families successfully sleep train overnight when age appropriate and continue to contact, stroller, carrier nap during the day - some want it, some out of necessity( multiple kids, school pick up...)
4. Your Ncs should never be guilting or shaming you

The danger comes if you're sleep deprived trying to hold them all night long. But if you are awake and not at risk for falling asleep then please contact nap with your child.

+1 to all of this, and if you want some anecdotal evidence:

My DD took many, many naps as an infant in my arms or a carrier. After 3 months, she'd take her first and sometimes second nap of the day in her crib, but her afternoon nap was usually in the stroller or carrier because it got me out of the house (I had PPD and this was important for my mental health). We did not cosleep at night but she did sleep in our room until about 10 months, and I continued to nurse her at night if she woke up (against the pediatrician's stern advice) until about 1 year.

I now have a 7 year old who has always been a great sleeper, never given us difficulty at bedtime, is independent and confident, and we have a great relationship (loving and affectionate, but also she trusts me and mostly does what I ask).

If some piece of infant advice just feels *wrong* and it's an issue where many people disagree, I say go with your gut. This will come up again and again. You need to trust your own parenting instincts. If it's something where you are a huge outlier, that's a good time to maybe turn to an expert and try it their way. But for something like this, if your heart is saying to hold the baby during naps, do it!

Yeah I'm trying to figure out whether it's even possible to have a newborn that gets put down every time they fall asleep? Those suckers sleep ALL THE TIME!

[Anonymous]

Listen to your heart! It's breaking because this is wrong. What is her source for "no contact naps"? There's literally no data that shows that sleeping through the night will be harder/easier with "no contact naps." Are you not supposed to use a sling or a carrier either? The mark of an inexperienced or judgmental "professional" is making up rules to sound like they know more than you.

[Anonymous]

I would not employ someone who talks to me like that. I tell my nanny, post partum doula, and night nanny when I need their advice. I get enough unsolicited advice from my mom.

With that said, I agree with her. Especially if your baby will be in daycare. The daycare ladies won’t be able to hold your baby for naps. He will have an easier adjustment if he’s already a crib napper.

My first baby was a barnacle who only napped if she was held or in a stroller. I adored cuddling her, but my neck hurt and I could never get anything done.

When my second was a newborn, I sometimes handed him to our nanny so I could spend time with my older kid. I noticed she’d hold him for naps and told her to put him in the crib for naps. I also caught her dozing off with him in her arms- so clearly doing contact naps in the daytime isn’t foolproof. I am pretty paranoid about safety but even I have accidentally dozed off while feeding him.

Baby is now 6 months old and still a fantastic crib napper. He actually has trouble falling asleep while being held. On rare occasions he dozes off at the breast and I love feeling the relaxed weight of him and seeing his peaceful face. But I am extremely glad we got him used to napping in the crib. He loves all his caretakers but I’m clearly his favorite. So I don’t think that making him nap in the crib harmed our attachment.

[Anonymous]

Why do you have this NCS anyway? Is this a nurse or a glorified babysitter? Does the baby have special medical needs?

I feel like she's trying to give "different" advice from the norm in order to maintain some kind of "specialist" title and billing rate.

[Anonymous]

Follow Pedimom on Facebook/Instagram. It’s a safety issue - babies have died napping on a parent when the parent accidentally fell asleep. Napping in a crib or bassinet with no covers or stuffed animals is the safest.

[Anonymous]

I contact napped during the daytime until my baby no longer wanted it - after a little over a year. It was the sweetest time. I had a mattress pad on the floor and baby slept on me. My nanny also told me not to do it bc she said it would be a problem later on, and it never was. Baby slept fine on her own through the night.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine followed a very strict sleep schedule with her kids, and shared that she literally never had her babies fall asleep in her arms. I could not imagine such a thing. Watching my children fall asleep as I held them is such a core memory for me.

[Anonymous]

Contact naps are good for you and good for your baby. My first contact napped almost every nap. My second is in the NICU where I've repeatedly been told that contact naps are not just good, but important for brain development. I had so many days of parental leave spent snuggling a sleeping baby. I got nothing done, and I don't regret a single contact nap. I have the whole rest of my life to put away the dishes.and my oldest started sleeping through the night all on his own. Why would you be strict with a baby?